TV Movies Rule

And now I have the proof!

I came across this list of Scariest Cinematic Masked Killers via IMDb’s Hit List and thought it was pretty dang accurate. What does it have to do with TV Movies, you ask? Well, look at #1 (or just check out the above photo)! I have to agree!

What a great Halloween treat!

This House Possessed (1981) & More!

Like you would need more than just This House Possessed!

My friend Paula Haifley asked me to contribute an article to a site she writes for called CC2K (aka cincity2000) for their Fright Week. Well, being all about TV Movies and stuff, I gave them a review of the best TV Movie ever, This House Possessed. The layout is fantastic, so I’d like to send a big thank you to CC2K for doing such a great job and to Paula for thinking of me.

You can read my review HERE.

I hope to be giving some more love to This House Possessed in the future. I just adore that movie!

I also have a new post up at Retro Slashers called Ten Things the New My Bloody Valentine Needs to Not Suck. And I have a new review at Horror Yearbook for my Not so Basic Instincts column. This time I take a look at The Banker.

If everything goes as planned, I'm going to have another article about TV Movies on another site coming up. I’m finishing it now - Like, as we speak! The article has been THREE YEARS in the making, so I hope you all enjoy. I’ll post a link when all is said and done.

For now… Enjoy!

The Failing of Raymond (1971)

Network: ABC
Original Air Date: November 27th, 1971

Jane Wyman made her small screen movie debut in The Failing of Raymond, a movie that will come across as a fantasy for those who felt the school system let them down. I’d ask you to raise your hand but there’s just way too many of you – and that’s too school-like anyway. Raymond (Dean Stockwell in a brilliant performance) is an outsider whose fate was set the day he failed a test in high school. What followed over the next ten years was a life of misery and more disappointments, landing him in a mental institution. When he figures out that the teacher who done him wrong, Ms. Bloomquist (Jane Wyman) is retiring, he escapes the institute and terrorizes her.

Creepy dream sequence

The Failing of Raymond is an interesting comment on the education structure and places the blame of Raymond's horrible life on both his and his ex-teacher’s shoulders. Raymond definitely had issues, he suffers from paranoia and can be a little slow on the uptake, but Ms. Bloomquist also put her married lover (Dana Andrews with a really bad tan and dye job) over her students. I won't say she's a bitch, but she certainly does come off as self-centered and partially unable to communicate with her kids. How ten years have changed both she and Raymond, only her life seemed to get better, or at least more centered. Raymond spent his days in ridicule and abuse. It's a compelling take on the trigger effect concept. The fact that one test in high school can map out the rest of your days makes for a disturbing premise, and the ideas are handled with a lot of thought here.

A very young Katey Sagal and a middle aged Murray Hamilton

I like that Raymond isn't portrayed as pure evil. He's really a very sad character who just wants to prove that he could have passed the dang test if only Ms. Bloomquist had attended to him properly. He even has a girlfriend at the institution who is this lost, wide-eyed creature (a very young and pretty Katey Sagal in her first role! Her father Boris was the director). It's obvious Raymond would never hurt her, and you can tell by the gentleness of their situation that he really doesn't want to hurt Ms. Bloomquist either, he just needs to prove his case.

The cast is amazing and besides Stockwell and Wyman you’ll also see the late great Murray Hamilton and Tim O’Connor. Boris Sagal was quite the television film and mini-series director before his untimely death in 1981. Besides fathering the lovely Katey Sagal, he was also the dad of Jean and Liz Sagal from Double Trouble. I.E. The best show that ever aired in the history of the world and even the whole universe. Really.


One colored Dana Andrews. Why Dana - Why?!?
Like my last post on the ultra rare Seven in Darkness, The Failing of Raymond kind of symbolizes the problem with being nostalgically inclined. Here is an ultra-rare TV movie that I have spent years searching for, based solely on the enticing premise. The upshot of being so inclined to love and seek out these films is that I’m seldom disappointed. I guess that’s why you won’t find too much in the way of negative reviews here. But as I’ve said before, I’m not here for that. But I’d like to think I watch these movies with more than just a pair of rose colored glasses. The Failing of Raymond is a well thought out thriller that will please any fans of the sub-genre. It’s not so hard to find now that the internet exists – and frankly, the internet and my iPod about the only two things I think I’d have trouble giving up if I got a chance to go back in time. Oh yeah and my friends and family too, I guess.

Seven in Darkness: The Golden Chalice

Seven in Darkness seems to be the one TV movie that no one has been able to locate. It originally aired in 1969 and is actually the first original film in the ABC Movie of the Week releases.

I have probably seen this movie half a dozen times, and all before I turned 7 years old. I don’t remember much about it except that it stars Milton Berle and it’s about a plane crash in the forest where the only survivors are blind.

That’s right. I did not stutter. Milton. Berle.

The premise is top notch and I remember being so enraptured by it.

I did a random Google search and found very little about Seven in Darkness and the IMDb message board is basically just a bunch of lost souls like myself searching for this movie. I couldn’t even find any pictures of it to feature here. Hence the cartoon Chalice. I'm so clever...

Still, I thought it was a film worth mentioning because I’d love to know if anyone else out there remembers it and I would also like to know if anyone knows were I can find it.

Help!

Mr. Roarke Said There'd Be Days Like This...

As the world slips back into Monday, I am reminded of one of my favorite episodes of Fantasy Island, titled Reunion (OAD April 29th, 1978):

Like any good Friday, the blonde starts here:



Gets to here somewhere in the middle:



And ends up here:



Do your best not to end up like her! And have a great Monday!!!

This Just In...

Read an interview with my boyfriend at Dread Central for the new Saw Video Game, which he is producing!

I think there will be some more interviews coming so please check back.

I’m SO proud of him!

Lifetime Kills... And Kills Again!

Thinking about the month of October conjures up all kinds of images into the holiday lover’s head. One of them probably doesn’t involve sitting around watching the Lifetime Movie Network, but what the hell? It’s blatantly obvious that they are in full spirit with a week of fun thrillers running all the way through to the 31st. My favorite network plans to celebrate All Hallows’ Eve … Lifetime-style. Don’t go in expecting the conventional horror film marathons - think high drama with a little suspense and you’ll do just fine. So, just sit back and let Lifetime take you away. It’s kind of like Calgon except its got people in it, which makes it kind of like Soylent Green! Oh, I’m so confused!

You can check out their full schedule here, but I thought I'd list some of the highlights (all listings are Eastern Standard Time):

*Please note LMN blocks their days as starting at 10 am going through until 8 am the next day and it’s confusing, so please double check the site when setting your timers!



October 24th, 2008

6 am - Haunting of Sorority Row – Fitting in might turn deadly in this supernatural tale of a sorority with something sinister to hide.

8 am - Carrie - Doy, this is total horror for women.


October 25th, 2008

10 am - The Rage: Carrie II - Double doy. This is an underrated late 90s horror outing, that isn't nearly as much of a sequel as it is a terrifying excursion into teen angst. If you haven't seen this, now is a good time to catch it.

8 pm - Nightmare at the End of the Hall – Suicide, reincarnation, nasty pranks and then some! (playing again 10/25/08 at midnight)


October 26th, 2008

10 am - Soul Survivor - Troubled teens, summer vacations, workaholic moms and cute boys, oh my!

2 pm - Secrets of the Summer House - A haunted house and Lindsey Price from 90210. Umm, what more could you ask for?

8 pm - In Her Mother’s Footsteps - OK, so who actually inherits a house when a relative dies? I know I certainly haven’t. So do I mind if someone gets a house and it’s cursed? Nah, they probably deserved it, those greedy bastards! Here, a woman not only inherits a house but also starts having visions! Well, some people get everything they want, I guess! (playing again 10/26/08 at midnight & 10/27/08 at noon)

2 am - Past Tense - More visions abound but here’s the twist – A woman is having a vision of her daughter’s death… in a past life! I’m sorry, that just sounds awesome! (Playing again 10/26/08 at 8 am EST)

3:50 am - Imaginary Playmate - It might be getting a little late into the evening, but this thriller is directed by legendary horror filmmaker William Fruet (Killer Party, Death Weekend), and he apparently goes all Lifetime in this tale of a little girl’s ‘pretend’ friend. Thank the Lord for Tivo!



October 27th, 2008

2 pm - Disappearance - A ghost town that is really a ghost town! I know, but it’s the only potentially interesting thriller playing this day! (also playing 10/26/08 at 10pm)


October 28th, 2008

10 pm - Night of Terror - Oh my, a scary assailant stalks a family on a boating trip. And there’s a storm! Neat! (playing again 10/29/08 at 2pm)

3:50 am - Wishcraft - It’s like The Wishmaster meets The Craft meets Friday the 13th meets Teen Witch (dude, it even features Zelda Rubenstein!)! Wishcraft is actually a bit of a cult item and considered an underrated thriller. Now is a good time to see what all the cool Lifetime kids are talking about! Like I said, YAY for Tivo!


October 29th, 2008

2 am - Lost in the Dark - A blind woman has to fend for herself in an isolated cabin against some mean ol’ escaped convicts.

3:50 am - Visitors of the Night - I have one word – Aliens. Oh and here’s two more: See it.



October 30th, 2008

10 am - The Unsaid - More of a drama than a thriller, The Unsaid has a few shockingly brutal moments and a really strong story about a man trying to find redemption after his son commits suicide with an unstable, potentially murderous teenager.

6 pm - Awake to Danger - Tori Spelling and Michael Gross star as daughter/father on the opposite sides after the brutal murder of Tori’s mom. Tori witnesses the murder, gets hit on the head and forgets who the culprit is. Could it be dear old dad? Of course this stars Tori Spelling, so it’s a must see, but it isn’t quite as good as the film that follows afterwards:

8 pm - Co-ed Call Girl - So. Good. Tori plays a hapless college student lured into the world of high class prostitution. Three words: Best. Movie. Ever. (both movies playing again starting at 10 am on 10/31/08)

3:50 am - Destination: Infestation – What is it with 3:50 am? All of the best is being shown at this weird hour… OK, deadly ants swarm an airplane. I can’t vouch for this movie, but you can bet your bottom dollar I’m taking a shot on it!


October 31st, 2008 – The All Hallows' Eve (aka The Money Shot)

4 pm - A Vision of Murder: The Story of Donielle - This chick Donielle sees violent crimes before they happen! That might be OK and all, but she’s the next victim of a sadistic serial killer!

8 pm - A Deadly Vision – Psychic waitress? It could happen…

10 pm - Hush Little Baby – A mother’s dead child possesses the new child and it ain’t happy!

More Links!

I know, when am I going to do something over here? I’ve got a few fires burning, but without the ability to do it online at home, well… I’ll stop my bitching here.

I have a Traumafession over at Kindertrauma.

So. Exciting.

Check out my warped memories of The Prisoner. Thank you to Unkle Lancifer and Aunt John for giving me a really nice write up along with some linkage to my work! It is most appreciated!

Also, my great online friend Joseph Henson (owner of the now defunct but hopefully not defunt in the future) site/webgroup The Bodycount Continues) is doing a Slasher Cup Championship. Basically, everyday he randomly picks two 80s slashers and pits them against each other. It’s up to OUR votes to determine the winner, so go over there and defend your faves! Joe’s great so leave a comment and say hi while you’re at it!

And I’m feeling the love for Anchorwoman in Peril – Not that I ever stopped, but his Sham Shocktober theme has been great and I’ve been enjoying going over and giving my two cents. Because you know, I’m all about giving the two cents. Also, Ross inspired the above photo because of his awesome review of Aenigma! Way to go Ross - encouraging stalkerdom all through the land!

I think for Made for TV Mayhem, I’m looking at two new lists and I’ve got an idea I want to work on for an article, but I haven’t fleshed out the details yet. So let’s see how it plays out, no?

Be well all!


Two men, one cowboy hat. I could just die!

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad...

...You take them both... And there you have… Amanda’s Facts of Life!

I’m currently not online at home so I have to do all my writing on my lunches and breaks which sucks because you know I like to eat and stuff. Geez.

Capturing images and adding them to a review is not feasible for me at the moment. So you might not be seeing much in the world of Made for TV Mayhem, because most of the reviews I’ve done (well, the two I’ve written and not posted) need captures or there would be no images! Lame obscure movies!

However, I do have a couple of new things up elsewhere:

You can read my newest review for my Not So Basic Instincts column. This time I look at Body Chemistry III: Point of Seduction. No worries if you haven’t seen the first two (I mean, in case you were actually worried!).

Also, I did a little retrospective for Retro Slashers on The Unnamable and its sequel, both of which I love, love, LOVE.

Enjoy!

I’ll try to find some interesting TV Movie stuff to fill up the space until I can get back online. It’s scarce though. How sad is that?!?


Make it better Mrs. Garrett!

More Schtuff!

Well, hello.

I have a new review for my Lifetime Kills ccolumn. This time I take a look at the classic
Lethal Vows (gawd, even though it was made for a network, isn’t the title just so Lifetime?)…

And I did a Top Picks List at Horror Yearbook on Little Known Horror Treasures.

I swear to have more TV Movie reviews soon! Time is a cruel mistress you see.

Enjoy, yo!

The Beasts are on the Streets (1978)

Network: NBC
Original Air Date: May 18th, 1978





Beasts has always been one of the golden chalices of made for television movies for me. I remember the ads featuring a tiger or panther on the hood of a car, but I’m sure I had never seen the actual movie. Yet that image stayed with me and I spent years looking for the film it came from, never knowing what the name was (and strangely, I thought I saw Chuck Norris in the ad too! Turns out it was just some guy with a moustache!). One day, I was doing one of those arbitrary searches on IMDb that I love to do when I’m bored (or at work!) and came across the irresistible title The Beasts are on the Streets. It struck a bell. But would watching Beasts ever live up to the memory of that great ad? That’s the chance you take whenever you take a childhood recollection and make it tangible (oh, I am so deep!). After years of searching for this movie, I finally landed myself a plum good copy and found myself enjoying every single second of it.

Not scary, but totally adorable!

This movie was made with the help of the Humane Society, which does my heart good. Being an almost life long vegetarian, I don’t eat meat because I just love animals so dang much. I take a chance every time I watch one of these animals attack films because if it looks too real, I’ll be a big old sack of tears in no time (I even feel bad when Jaws gets blown up!). I was worried Beasts would have the same effect, but being a TV movie produced by Joseph Barbera of Hanna-Barbera fame and all, I could count on it being fairly tame. And I for one am grateful!

Before Miami Vice, PMT still loved to pack heat!

This truck driver is having a really bad day. I mean, really bad. Like super really bad. He is darn near run off the road, has to take a nitro glycerin pill to avoid a heart attack (at which point he should of just pulled over) before running into the guys who originally tried to run him off the road. Now they are pointing a rifle at him, just cuz they are mean ol’ rednecks and the truck driver ends up crashing through a cheap barbwire fence that has been keeping several species of animals in a preserve (several species which should never be cohabitating, by the way). Well, now they are loose. All kinds of creatures are having their way with the huge car pile up the accident caused. There’s lions, tigers and bears, oh my! And ostriches and rhinos and all kinds of cute creatures… YAY! I know, I’m such an easy sell…



The strikingly beautiful Carol Lynley plays a veterinarian for the wildlife preserve. After helping a camel deliver her baby, she is one of the first to come to the aid of the panicked populace. .

That’s about 20 minutes in, folks. And now the beasts are all over the small town with only Lynley, a few of her cohorts (including Phillip Michael Thomas) and some tranquilizer darts to round up their animals.

Cartoon blood and a trucker

A nice mixture of the disaster genre with the animals amok genre, Beasts is a movie that is far more adorable than intense. There are still enough OMG moments though (like the car trying to run down an ostrich). I don’t mind when animals attack people, but I do seem to mind when they attack each other. All those years of Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom and it still upsets me.

The perils of being a young Farrah Fawcett wannabe

And there’s the obligatory theme dealing with how people are the real animals (finally, someone’s on my side!). If they had a show called When Animals Attack Jerks, I’d watch it everyday. These redneck hunter types wreak all kinds of havoc on the animals and you know, I just loved watching them get theirs!

So, now I have seen a movie I’ve spent the last 20 some odd years looking for. Was it worth it? Uh, doy! Do you even have to ask?

More Stuff I Wrote!

I know, I know, how exciting is that?!?

By the way, Bill Cullen is not in this post, but I just adore that picture! How could you not?

Two new articles are up atHorror Yearbook. You can read my oh-so-interesting interview with multi-hyphenated super stud David Heavener. Actually, he’s quite interesting and I always enjoy talking to him. His newest venture is a television series he created called Confessions of an Exorcist and he waxes poetic and stuff all over the joint.

I also have two movie reviews from my visit to this year’s Shriekfest Film Fest. Read my reviews of H.P. Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown & Dark Reel.

Enjoy!

Columns Rule!

First of all, I’m watching Password Plus and the guest stars are Regis Philbin and Audrey Landers. Good stuff!

I have two new reviews up. One is another review for my Lifetime Kills column at Pretty Scary. I take a look back at the Tracey Gold classic The Face of Evil. Enjoy!

Secondly, I have a new column at Horror Yearbook I’m very excited about called Not So Basic Instincts where I’ll be discussing the best and the worst of the erotic thriller genre. I’ll be concentrating mostly on the direct to video stuff from the 90s, so expect to see a lot of Shannon Tweed. Cuz she rules. My first review is for a little ditty called Cover Story, which I really enjoyed.

I am going out of town and will be back sometime next week (how mysterious of me) and I hope to have some stuff up on the blog with SCREEN CAPS! Thanks to Ross at Anchorwoman in Peril, I now have the capability of doing such modern things like capturing images. YAY!

And finally, Ben Murphy is STILL HOT! Seriously. He hasn’t changed one bit since last week!

Have a great TV Movie filled weekend guys!


Goodness!

Jeepers Creepers! TV Features!

About three Halloweens ago I did an article for Film Threat which was essentially a look at every made for television horror/thriller/suspense movie released in the month of October from 1970-1980. It became a huge undertaking and remains one of the articles that I am proudest of. They deleted my introduction to the piece (for space I assume because it was already very long), so I thought I’d post it here with a link to the actual article.

Enjoy!

Jeepers Creepers! TV Features

A Retrospective on classic Made for TV Halloween Horror Movies (1970-1980)

By

Amanda Reyes

Picture it – October, 1970. You’re a latch key kid not yet of age for the grindhouse circuit but old enough to appreciate the horrors of the night. The world still had eight years before John Carpenter would unleash his timeless classic, “Halloween”, which featured by the way, two kids totally engrossed in watching scary movies while lovely babysitters were being slaughtered across the street. That scene featuring little Lindsey Wallace (Kyle Richards) totally terrified of yet still absorbed in “The Thing” actually encompassed the same sort of passion I have with the genre. But like I said, it’s 1970 and there was no “Halloween” and horror hadn’t really gone mainstream yet. Still, the three networks understood the plus of exploiting exploitation. Sure they had to meet the confines of the censors, had to deal with smaller budgets and shorter timelines but working under those conditions produced a creativity that has endured over the last three decades. Some of the best small screen genre films came during that tumultuous decade, so this list will run from 1970-1980. READERS BEWARE: Reading this article may cause massive fits of nostalgia.

Click here to read the full article!

Ben Murphy Galore!

Lordy, lordy, lordy. Ben Murphy still looks good. In fact, he looks better now at 66 than he did some 20 odd years ago when I first saw him on Lottery. I know, how can he look better? He does, trust me (see above picture for reference).

Ben was such a mainstay on television back in my formative years and I have always enjoyed watching him. Yeah, he is so handsome he could melt the chrome off a pipe just by looking at it, but aside from that, he's a good actor, lots of fun to watch and he made some great TV.

With Pete Duel on Alias Smith & Jones - I do like a man in a cowboy hat!

My fondest television memory of him is on the short lived series Lottery! which ran for one all-too brief season from 1983-1984. I was all of 12 then and he must have been one of my first big crushes because I still think about him. Yup. He's in good company too, along with Parker Stevenson, David Naughton and John Taylor of Duran Duran, this guy will always make my heart go pitter-patter.

Mystery Science Theater seemed to be keen on Ben Murphy too because they didn't just show one of his movies, they showed TWO! Now, that's love. Both the television movie Riding with Death (1976- this was actually two episodes from the short lived series Gemini Man pieced together – twice as much Ben for half the price!) and the non-TV horror movie Time Walker (1982) were featured. Both episodes were great additions to MST3K and it was probably the only way I was going to see the hard-to find Time Walker anyway, so I'm so glad they did it.

Ben first hit it big on the small screen in 1971 when he got the part of Jed 'Kid' Curry on the popular western series Alias Smith and Jones. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it, but I've never seen this show, although I'm somewhat familiar with it. Season One is on DVD. I so need to pick it up, because it looks great.



From there he became a mainstay and made a few TV movies:

The Letters (1973)
Runaway! (1973)
Heatwave (1974)
This is the West that Was (1974)
The Secret War of Jackie's Girls (1980)
Uncommon Valor (1983)
The Cradle will Fall (1983)

OMG, I totally forgot he was in The Cradle will Fall with Lauren Hutton and James "Overacting King" Farentino. I must dig up my copy of that.

Anyway, I just got myself a pretty piss poor copy of the pilot for Lottery, and hope to do a little write up on the movie that started my love for all things Ben!

For now, you all will be able to enjoy him in a NEW movie called Terminal Trap which is currently in production. Also, last year he was in an episode of the John Laroquette Hallmark TV Movie series McBride titled Semper Fi. I like knowing that Ben has continued to act steadily through the years. Personally, I think he deserved a better career, but I'm just glad he's out there working. Warms the ticker, you know.



You can keep up with Ben at his website, which is full of all things Ben! It's a very good site, so visit and drool!

Woman on the Ledge (1993)

Network: NBC
Original Air Date: March 15^th, 1993

Like Fantasies, Woman is one of those few movies that get made to capitalize on the fandom of soap operas. Not just with an over the top scenario either, this movie stars all your favorite daytime Kings and Queens in all their wide eyed glory.

Quinn (Deidre Hall from Days of Our Lives), Rachel (Leslie Charleson from General Hospital) and Steffi (Colleen Zenk-Pinter from As the World Turns) are best friends going all the way back to grade school. Each one wears a little charm bracelet with a bell because as children they swore they could hear each other’s chimes wherever they were. They were wrong. Each woman is facing a momentous decision in her life and one of them will literally end up…on the ledge! Dun…dun… dun!

Each woman represents a personality type we can relate too (sort of). Quinn is that extra hot career woman who always looks perfect, always knows the right thing to say and lives in one of those awesome houses with a hot tub on the roof. Yeah, I totally relate to that. Well, her problem is that she has a really tiny window of opportunity to have a child. When that window is gone, she may have to…. gulp!... adopt! The shame! She tells her handsome boyfriend Bob (Peter Bergman from All My Children) to knock her up and he immediately leaves her. Desperate, she even hits on a guy in an orchestra who calls her “ma’am”! YE-OUCH!

Rachel is that woman who married her high school sweetheart and lives in domestic bliss with him and her children in another giant domicile. Her big problem is that some strange lady keeps calling and her man Jeff (Josh Taylor from Days of Our Lives) is being all secretive and stuff and then one day Rachel even sees him hugging a woman! Well, it takes her all of about 2 minutes to jump in the sack with here recently separated friend Ted (Michael Zaslow from One Life to Live). I mean, it takes less than a day. Like, confront your husband for Pete’s sake before you do something like that! So of course, now her life is in total shambles and just you wait until you find out who that secret lady actually is. Oh Rachel… why?!?

Steffi is a weird one. She’s this nerdy chick who performs in an orchestra and sees this really scary therapist named Doctor Martin (Ken Kercheval from Dallas in an extraordinarily menacing role), who keeps referring to their sessions as “work”, which is a nice word for rape! Anyway, this Steffi lady insists on continuing to see him, even though he is not only forcing her to perform sexual favors, but is also trying to put a wedge between her and a new boyfriend named Elliot (the gorgeous Kale Brown from One Life to Live looking not so gorgeous). And she won’t even give him that little sumthin-sumthin’, which blows me away, because once I was at a Starbucks and Kale Brown was standing next to me and it took about all I had not to pounce on him. All I can say is this girl has problems.

These three women share, compare and the like although each one is hiding a significant secret about themselves. That’s where it pays to be a soap opera actor. Woman is based more on what isn’t said than what is. There are lots of reactions to information, and it’s those looks that truly indicate what is being thought. Lesser actors would just end up glaring at each other. That might be funny, but then there wouldn’t be any really drama and it’s all about the drama, you know.

Woman is a pleasant time waster, where everyone’s life is just enough of a spectacle to keep you going. It’s basically Lifetime Television before there was Lifetime Television. I really liked both Leslie Charleston and Deidre Hall and I just adored Ken Kercheval, but then again, I always do. He’s really good here and I kind of wish the movie was about him. They could call it Dr. Rapist M.D., or something (the M.D. obviously stands for medical deviate!).

By the way, Kale Brown and I have the same birthday. Isn’t that totally awesome?

Oh sure, he looks nice here...