Scream, Pretty Peggy: The Art

I was hoping to have time for a proper review of Scream, Pretty Peggy, which originally aired on November 24th, 1973 as an ABC Movie of the Week. I recently re-watched it and loved it just as much as when I first saw it as a kid. I wrote a woefully negative review of it for another site and have come to regret every word (I was going through that weird sarcastic phase that strikes many who think they have to make fun of what they love... but I grew up and grew out of that crap!). I still want to give this film its proper due, and will, but for now let's celebrate Halloween with a classic of the genre.

Jeffrey Elliot's (Ted Bessell) gruesome and haunting sculptures were created by Don Chandler, and set the tone for this small but undeniably eerie telefilm. But it's not just his look inside a madman's mind that makes Peggy such a visual treat. Most of the whackadoodle artwork that fills Jeffery's house is crazy in the most wonderful of ways. I tried to get the best stills for your Halloween pleasure! Enjoy and have a great day filled with candy and small screen scares!

The USA World Premiere Movie Project: The Cover Girl Murders (1993)

This review has been posted in conjunction with the Daily Grindhouse's year long tribute to the USA World Premiere Movie.  

What I like best about The Cover Girls Murders is that the vhs cover reminds me of my crazy salad days working at a video store. I can’t even remember how many generic but still enticing images like this filtered across my checkout desk. I do not recall this particular film being a part of our admittedly light collection, but I did pick up the movie a few years later when video stores were still king and movies with titles like The Cover Girl Murders had the potential of irresistible charm. Yes, I was a fan of Baywatch and yeah, I thought maybe, just maybe, this movie was going to be like a sun soaked Friday the 13th (or at least Ten Little Indians dressed up in a bikini). I was in for the long haul. However, that sandy slasher was not to be and while I give the Cover Girl Murders a spin every few years (because I’m a sucker), my opinion that this is one bland flick has not changed much in the last fifteen years or so. At least I'm consistent.

This wonderfully creepy image really has nothing to do with the film

I guess The Cover Girl Murders is of note because the screenplay was co-written by Doug Barr (based on a story by my old UCLA Extension teacher Brian Taggert!), and Barr co-starred with one of Cover Girl's main draw, Lee Majors on The Fall Guy. And, it also features two actors who starred in television adaptations of famous movies: Vanessa Angel of Weird Science and Adrian Paul of Highlander. Both are fine in the film, and Jennifer O’Neill is perhaps too good for the material she’s been saddled with, but wow. This one is just… it’s just.

Ahem, I think you are supposed to point the camera towards the model...

In a newspaper article lovingly titled USA: The Trash Channel, San Francisco Chronicle’s John Carmen snubbed the network, denouncing much of their 1993 lineup (including the excellent Rubdown, Caught in the Act and this film). The intrepid reporter surmised that “While a living can be made for a time low-balling and low-browing the audience, sooner or later the public and advertisers develop allergies to shoddy merchandise.” Normally, I would be outraged by such comments, and I will defend Rubdown til… we’ll it’s rubbed down (not as dirty as it sounds)…but it’s really hard to make a case for The Cover Girl Murders. You win this round, Carmen!

Is anyone behind the wheel of this movie?

Admittedly, the premise is absolutely enticing… A bunch of bikini models, a magazine mogul, a hot photographer and a couple of other potential victims arrive on an almost deserted island to do a photo shoot for a magazine that may be on its last legs if this swimsuit edition (or was it calendar?) doesn’t bring in some hard (on), honest money. Unfortunately, an unknown assailant has other ideas…

She totally just read the script

Despite the (mostly mild) deaths of a few models, the fashion shoots continue, leading to a rather hysterical scene featuring the drop dead real life model Beverly Johnson looking pretty upset while a cheeky Adrian Paul coaxes, "C'mon, you know you want me."

Models go BOOM!

By the way, did you know models are combustible? Neat.

I don't know who you are, or why you needed to be there or what purpose you were serving... but I love you.

By the way Part II: Did you know it was possible to make a movie with less than ten characters stranded on a remote island getting picked off one by one and still intersperse a guy with no dialogue or reason for being in most of the major scenes? To say this guy was the heart of the film is an understatement.

Lee just read the script too

Intriguing, no? But the story, the pacing, some of the acting (and definitely the dialog), and that hackneyed "twist" leaves way too much to be desired. And truthfully, I don’t really have any words for this one, so why not enjoy a few sun soaked stills, and if you are really interested, view at your own risk.

File Under: Werk It

 

Confession: I’m sure in a few more years down the road, I’ll be picking up my trusty vhs copy and thinking, “Maybe this will be better than I remembered.” I’m a small screen masochist!

The USA World Premiere Movie Project: High Desert Kill (1989)

This review has been posted in conjunction with the Daily Grindhouse's year long tribute to the USA World Premiere Movie.   
 


Just like the characters in High Desert Kill, I was a witness… I was there… yet, I still don’t believe what I saw… I wonder if I will even be able to recount the story properly.

Maybe I should start here:


Before I even attempt to decipher this strangely intriguing 1989 sci-fi/adventure/thriller thingamabob, let me throw out some film references, which may or may not clear things up. High Desert Kill feels like Pray for the Wildcats meets Snow Kill if they went Into the Badlands. And sure, if you want to throw in a Predator along the way, I won’t argue with you… And you know what? I'll see your Predator and raise you A Nightmare at Bitter Creek while we're at it.

Does that help? OK, let's try this: High Desert Kill is a mixed bag of small screen suspense blended with a touch of tentacle-esque sci-fi (maybe that’s a Cthulhu reference?)… And Marc Singer. Is it must see TV? Probably not, but it is mesmerizing in its own bizarro world way.

Anthony Geary is Dr. Jim Cole, a pretty serious guy who enjoys spending one weekend a year exercising his macho muscles with his two best buds, Brad and Paul (a bug-eyed machismo afflicted Marc Singer and the sternly handsome Vaughn Armstrong). Unfortunately, Paul recently passed away in a strange electrical accident (!), so his male model nephew (!!) Ray (Micah Grant) is taking over the hunting buddy role. Once this motley trio is placed firmly out of society’s reach and into the wild, they run into a curmudgeonly grizzled professional hunter named Stan (Chuck Connors), and the four attempt to forge a relationship based mostly on who can arm wrestle the best.

However, this is not a simple beer-guzzling-look-how-big-my-gun-is weekend. Someone else is stalking these campers, and It has the ability to control their minds, bringing out the, ahem, beast within. This makes them drink a lot, screw the neighboring womenfolk, as well as eat raw bear liver! Is it an ancient curse? Is it a ghost? Is something in the water? Is it alien mind control? Did I just see Chuck Connors and Marc Singer make out with the same woman… at the same time…?

I. Don't. Know. What. Has. Happened. To. My. Brain.

High Desert Kill is absolutely one of the weirdest films I have ever seen. It’s got some mind-boggling moments (the infamous party scene is the stuff legends are made of), but it’s also fascinating and, at some points, quite effective. The location shots are gorgeous and through most of the film, the nuttiness works in its favor. But I’m still not sure what the point is. At times it seems Marc Singer's only intention was to prove how buggy he could make his eyes. And a blood-smeared Geary chowing down on bear liver is… ummm, something.

Based on the title and the above referenced party scene (which, by the way, made my Top 10 OMG moments in small screen films), I thought High Desert Kill was a slasher film, and it definitely hits a few of those beats: People are dragged away in the middle of the night, there's random body placement in a weird ancient ruin, and so on. But then it switches gears, and switches them again... and again... and the brain goes plop.

The reason why any of High Desert Kill works is because it was directed by the stalwart Harry Falk (his last directing credit, actually), a self-assured but primarily episodic director who brings a sense of style and tension to much of his work (OK, maybe The Flying Nun isn’t so tense, but work with me). The cast is also good, with Geary coming in a little subdued, which probably anchors Singer’s more emphatic (but fun) performance. Connors, of course, is great, even if he’s not given a whole heck of a lot to do. But the surprise here is Grant, who is undeniably likable and charming despite the fact that he’s the top male model for High Desert Fashions! I mean, you're sure that guy is going to be a jerk, right? You are so wrong.

High Desert Kill was met with mixed reviews. TV Guide loved it! Entertainment Weekly did not. However, both were kind with their critiques, which is something that is mostly missing on the viewers' reviews on the IMDb page. Maybe it's because we're looking for something to make fun of. Don't get me wrong, there are indeed a few hysterical hijinks in this strange concoction, but it's also genuinely earnest even if T.S. Cook's screenplay (based on a story by Mike Marvin and Darnell Fry) is all mish-moshy and lacking reason.

 
So what do we have? A brain melting genre bending script that aims too high and ultimately lacks a clear focus, a game cast, a competent director, a fashion shoot, something that looks like a giant roach, a force field that covers a Pueblo Indian ruin, actresses with the last name Birdsong, disappearing horses, guys who pull out guns in the middle of the gym, and lots of whiskey. Maybe not a good time for everyone, but definitely worth a go if you are interested in seeing how the direct to video market may have influenced the small screen fare of the late eighties.

Hammer House of Horror: The House that Bled to Death (1980)

This post is part of the Hammer Halloween Blogathon hosted by the Classic Film & TV Café. Click here to view the complete blogathon schedule.

Network: ITV
Original Air Date: October 11th, 1980

Hammer is synonymous with horror. Ain’t no two ways about it! Sure they got their feet wet in 1934 with the comedy The Public Life of Henry the Ninth, but that only goes to show what a long and incredible history Hammer Films has enjoyed. They found their true mojo in horror films and produced their most memorable content in the 1960s and 70s. Great actors, tight bodices and gothic chills ensured that their output would be loved then and loved now. But like all good things, Hammer theatrical films came to an end in 1976 after their release of To the Devil a Daughter. And like all incredible things, as of late they’ve enjoyed a bit of resurgence.

Woman in Black, anyone?

In between Daughter and Woman (now there's a metaphorical transition), Hammer Films produced two television series, Hammer House of Horror (1980) and Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense (1984). I am most familiar with the latter production because the Mystery and Suspense episodes were feature length and some ran in America in the 90s under the moniker Fox Mystery Theater. However, unbeknownst to me, I was actually somewhat familiar with House of Horror, because many of the episodes found their way onto VHS under the heading of Thriller Video, and they featured bumpers hosted by none other than Elvira.

 
I worked at a video store in the early 1990s and the Thriller Videos were fairly popular rentals, probably because of Elvira and the short running lengths of the films (what’s to lose, right). I did not rent them at the time because I was Miss Dark and Mysterious (I am Amanda By Night you know), and I spent most of my time renting crazy flicks like Make Them Die Slowly (and regretting it!). As an aside, Thriller Video also released Slowly, but Elvira didn’t want to be associated with it, so she was excused from hosting duties on that video. I can’t say I blame her. But I digress… I remember that I was a bit obsessed with the Thriller Video box for Carpathian Eagle because it looked so deliciously groovy. Regrettably, I still have not seen it, but now I know I married my husband for a reason. He has several of these videos and we’ve been digging them out of our boxes of VHS (of which we have many).

He actually had just stumbled across his copy of The House that Bled to Death when I asked to be a part of this blogathon. It was all kinds of kismet and stuff. I was really excited to finally sit down with one of these Hammer TV episodes to see what all the fuss was about.

 
OK, OK, fuss may be a bit of an overstatement. Both series have always garnered mixed reviews and even the fabulous tome A History of Horrors: The Rise and Fall of the House of Hammer said this of both shows:

The premier incarnation of Hammer House thrashed about in the treacherous waters of an ITV network slot that seemed to come and go with an unnerving suddenness. With its faddish affection for punning titles, the series veered between a committee concept of classic Hammer Horror – Guardian of the Abyss, Children of the Full Moon – and a hodgepodge of derivative shockers that ere more akin to reject episodes from an Amicus portmanteau production – Silent Scream, A Visitor From the Grave (from a script by John Elder), Rude Awakening. Two of them were genuinely frightening; the rest were frightful. Style and content were overhauled during shooting when it was realized that a problem would arise with the American networks over the explicit nudity and the less-than-explicit gore, and the watering down that resulted diluted the second batch of shows to such an extent that they became indistinguishable from any other TV Mystery Movie of the Week.

Wait, did I just see a diss on the Movie of the Week? Tsk, tsk.

Granted, with the exception of the current batch of basic and pay cable programming, which has the ease of lax FCC rules, television will always play second fiddle to theatrical releases with regards to sex and violence. Don’t get me wrong, I dig both, but I also love being creeped out, and sometimes it’s OK to fade out before a love scene. It’s worth noting that some of the most popular American horror films at the moment are ghost stories that actually avoid excessive violence and are practically absent of sexy sex (you can read about how TV movies influenced Insidious here), so maybe it’s time to reassess the Hammer shows?

Despite some critical disdain, The Hammer House of Horror episode The House That Bled to Death has attained a cult status, thanks to the infamous party scene featuring a pipe that spews blood (thinking back, this may have been the inspiration for the blood shower scene in This House Possessed). Although toned down for the small screen, the scene is still quite bloody and definitely disturbed. And the story itself is pretty dark stuff. In short, I loved it.

The premise is simple and sweet: A charming young family moves into a ramshackle house with a morbid history. The last tenant took a small sword to his wife and did away with her but good. Now it seems the ghosts of the past are still lingering around the Peters family, slowly driving them insane. After a dead cat, randomly freaky appearances of knitting needles, body parts in the fridge and the aforementioned bloody, er, birthday party, a convoluted but clever twist occurs and, on top of that, one more twist brings the film to a close.

 
It’s almost impossible to say anything else about this movie since it would seem everything is either haunted house – which has already been discussed – or a twist, which should not be discussed so you can either be pleased or miffed by the end results. Although I thought the twist was interesting and unique it did not make the film for me. What works best about The House That Bled to Death is the buildup, which is done rather well, and left me wanting more.

Honestly, that's the sign of good TV. The House that Bled to Death would have been pretty fantastic at a TV movie running length. The dilapidated house and all of its contents have the makings for a creepy good time!

As of this writing, the mister has located our copy of Carpathian Eagle, so guess what’s just hit the top of my To Watch pile?

A couple of years ago I reviewed the Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense episode titled Mark of the Devil with the scrumptious Dirk Benedict. You can read my review here.