The Classic TV Blog Association Presents The Classic TV Villain Blogathon: Madame Sin (1972)

Network: ABC
Original Airdate: January 15th, 1972

Sometimes you run into something so (wonderfully) bonkers, you are left a little beyond words. When the thing that is loopy happens to be a TV movie, you can sometimes count on the late great Alvin Marill to help clear things up. To quote his entry from Movies Made for Television on the 1972 telefilm Madame Sin:

In her initial movie for television, Bette Davis is a ruthless, all powerful mystery woman who abducts an ex-CIA agent and forces him to help her steal an ultra-modern Polaris submarine.

Thank you Alvin, this gets us started. I mean, sure that description is outlandish, but where does the bonkers come into play, you ask? Well, first of all Davis is a half-Asian evil-doer residing in a Scottish castle. She has holograms of musicians playing enormous round harps, and her underground laboratory looks like the sinister workings of a Progressive auto insurance advert!

Flo from Progressive in 30 years

To help her along the way is the aforementioned CIA agent, Anthony Lawrence (Robert Wagner). He’s kidnapped somewhere in London by two women dressed as nuns who use the aid of a strange sound wave machine to throw Lawrence off his game. Out of sorts, he is flown to the castle, where he’s manipulated by a new programming device that works almost like a dog whistle, but with human-recognizable sounds. Turns out Madame Sin once had a tumultuous affair with Lawrence’s father and feels she can influence him with her familiar ties. To a degree this works, but the wicked Madame can’t stop herself from resorting to even dirtier tricks, which involve manipulations so wonderfully evil that it would impress the likes of the greatest small screen love-to-hate-them villains (JR Ewing, I’m looking at you!). And don’t forget, she delivers these emotional and physical blows to her opponent complete with false eyelashes and the bluest eye shadow I have ever seen! The fab obviously elevates her duplicity another notch.

Evil never looked so strangely fab!

Madame Sin commits all kinds of villainy, from faking deaths, to stealing and selling submarines for 1 billion dollars. But she’s at her best when she’s remembering her love affair with Lawrence’s father. She makes jokes no one quite gets ("we spoke only in Croatian!" har har?) and frankly, gets all bent out of shape that her lover never mentioned Miss Sin to his son. So, what does she do when she gets mad? She renders Lawrence deaf and throws him to the wolves of Scotland, which is really just a bunch of tourists who don’t want to be bothered with helping anyone. Evil, I say!

I'm here all week, guys.

As mentioned in Marill’s concise review, Madame Sin marked Bette Davis’ small screen movie debut. This TVM has an interesting history in that it was sold as a pilot film for a sadly unrealized US series, but was scheduled to play theaters overseas. Watching the unfortunate fate of Lawrence, one has to wonder if the series was meant to star Wagner at all, or if was going to follow the exploits of the great Madame (OMG. What did we miss out on?!?).

A board meeting of EVIL! Malcolm must be taking notes off camera

Shooting began in February of 1971 and the film generated some decent attention in England, where part of the film was shot. Bette, like all great divas, seemed to enjoy the response, but was quick to give credit to Madame Sin’s director, David Greene, whom she referred to as “brilliant… but different” in an interview she did for Sight and Sound magazine. She also enjoyed working with Wagner, who was also a producer on the film. In another interview appearing in Variety, Davis said that Wagner was “a very bright lad.”

Davis also felt that despite forty plus years in the biz, she was working on a role that that was fresh. In her interview with Sight and Sound she said, “This film is a new experience for me. For one thing, it‘s a crime fantasy and usually I like to find some way of relating to my characters. But how can you relate to someone as outrageous as Madame Sin? So I have to invent all the time. It’s fun.”

Life is good when you're this wicked!

True to her words, Davis looks like she’s having the time of her life. And that sense of fun isn’t just contained by Davis’ extravagant performance (complete with one of the best sashays I’ve seen in a long time. In short, she’s werking!), it can also be seen in the great Denholm Elliot, who plays her right hand man, Malcolm. He actually seems to be having even more fun than Davis (and was probably just giddy being in the same room with her). It’s impossible not to notice that subtle half grin that appears with some of his best dialog delivery!

Madame Sin: It’s so disappointing to beat men. They never admit when they’ve lost. Unlike myself. But I’m never faced with the problem of losing because I always win.

Malcolm: Well I’m with you. That is if I understand you correctly, which seems highly improbable.

Evil harpist must be a resume builder...

While the film can seem a bit campy with its strange premise and flamboyant dialog delivery, it had some serious money behind it. Davis’ simple yet outrageously gorgeous wardrobe was designed by the great Edith Head, and aptly places Miss Davis in head to toe villainous glamour! Madame Sin was shot mostly around London and at the famous Pinewood Studios, with some other exteriors shot on the Island of Mull in Scotland. Madame Sin’s gorgeous castle came courtesy of Glengorn Castle (aka Castle Sorn). The acropolis is not just a tourist attraction, it’s now a bed and breakfast!* In short, this film is an oh-so-70s feast for the eyes, and a mind-blowing treat of strange, and wonderfully bizarre filmmaking. While it isn’t a copycat of Wagner’s 1967 TVM How I Spent My Summer Vacation, that colorful and awfully fun comedic spy thriller would make a fantastic double bill with Madame Sin!

Location, location, location!

Unfortunately, despite the positive press the film received while it was in production, London critics weren’t so kind with the final product. Richard Combs of London’s Monthly Film Bulletin remarked that Madame Sin suffered from a “dull script, a wooden hero and an abysmal ending.” The film opened at the Astoria in London’s West End and pulled in a respectable but only “Okay” box office of $8,556 (according to Variety). It was the replacement for Anthony and Cleopatra, which had grossed half as much the week before. Therefore, I call it a success!

Its premiere on American television went over much better critically, although Davis’ TVM debut didn’t set the world on fire (shame on us!). Kevin Thomas of the LA Times said Madame Sin was “lots of fun,” and he enjoyed the “handsome production.” Still, the ratings were average, and the TVM drew an 18.4/24. Not horrible but much like its West End run, it was only OK.

Promotional still used in Sight and Sound magazine

This was actually just one of two pilot movies Davis shot around this time. The other was The Judge and Jake Wyler (NBC, 12/2/1972), which was a Levinson/Link telefilm (they created Columbo). Davis tones down the glamour in the role of “The Judge,” and doesn’t spend much time doing much of anything except talking the phone. Of course, Davis’ star shines in any role, but if I were to pick one show to go to series, it would be hard to turn down Davis’ unforgettable strut as the evil Madame Sin.

This blog post is part of the Classic TV Blog Association's Classic TV Villain Blogathon. Get the full list of participants with links to their articles here. And, enjoy!

*And thank you to Gore Blimey from the Trilogy of Terror podcast for helping me with information regarding Glengorn Castle. You're the best!

TV Spot Tuesday: Invasion of Privacy (1983)

Network: CBS
Original Airdate: January 12, 1983

Valerie Harper had worked consistently since the cancellation of Rhoda in 1978, but 1982 would prove to be a banner year for the amazing actress. Harper had three TV movies in production, each one airing on one of the Big Three networks in the 1982/83 season. Most TV movie fans probably remember the undeniably scary and ageless classic Don’t Go To Sleep (12/10/1982, ABC), but her other two TVMs, the pilot movie Farrell for the People (10/18/1982, NBC) and the telefilm An Invasion of Privacy are also both solid films. What stands out about Ferrell and Invasion is that in one film (Ferrell), Harper plays a compassionate district attorney tangling with a complex rape case, and in an ironic turn of TV movie events, Harper then plays a rape victim working through the same unsympathetic system in Invasion. The films aired approximately 3 months apart.

In Invasion, Harper is Kate Bianchi, a recently divorced mother who is attempting to reconnect with her freelance artist roots. She has relocated to a small town in Maine during the dead of winter to work on a textbook project. The locals run both hot and cold with Kate, but one man named Wilbur (J.C. Quinn) crosses the creepy vibe line a few times. On the hot side is Police Chief Carl Slater (Cliff DeYoung sporting an impressive moustache), a friendly but sometimes aggressive suitor who moves into Kate’s good graces quickly, sleeping with her on their first date. Kate is still struggling with the breakup of her marriage and puts her love affair on hold, but less than 24 hours after her first post-divorce romantic rendezvous, Wilbur rapes Kate in her own home (with her small daughter in the same house!). Kate seeks justice but is met with some apprehension as many of the townsfolk rally against Kate in support of lifelong resident Wilbur. Her previous tryst with Carl becomes a heated point of debate and Kate has to let go of personal discretion in order to find some form of punishment for Wilbur.

Invasion is undeniably good, anchored by a solid performance by Harper, and some beautiful photography by John Lindley (Demon Murder Case and Killer Party!). The first half of the film is played like a thriller with a strange sense of doom lurking around every frame. After the attack (which is mostly, and thankfully, left to the imagination of the audience), the film becomes a more straightforward procedural and falters a bit. However, it remains a compelling watch because of the way it examines how society puts the weight of the blame on the victim, and because Harper is just too damn good. Has she ever not been amazing in something?

Based on a novel titled Asking for It by noted classic cinema actress turned screenwriter and novelist, Joan Taylor, there were many changes made to the adaptation, which was penned by Elaine Muller (her only IMDb credit), including dropping a subplot involving Kate’s politician father who uses the assault as a way to garner votes in an upcoming election, while also playing down the town’s resentment towards Kate. This was probably a bit of misstep, since the antipathy is made mostly in reference, while the “educated” transplants get most of the screen time, playing down Kate’s immense struggles to bring a local to justice in a town that seeks to protect its own. In this way, the xenophobia feels almost reversed, which hampers some of the film’s impact.

And yes, while Harper is terrific as Kate, the other hiccup in Invasion is how the character reacts in the aftermath. Certainly written this way, it is a bit too detached. Indeed that plays a bit off the clinical nature of what happens to most rape victims who report their crime and then have to face exams and questioning, but there’s no journey towards Kate’s ability to pull it together. At the same time, her impassive delivery is almost inspiring. She confronts the attack with no sense of guilt or blame, and remains focused on justice.

Invasion features lots of great small screen faces, including Richard Masur as a popular transplant desperate for acceptance, Carol Kane as his wife, Jeff Daniels in a very early role as a district attorney, and a very, very young Sarah Michelle Gellar as Harper’s daughter. She’s so cute, it’s almost ridiculous. Oh, let’s face it, she's still adorable! Both Jerry Orbach and Tammy Grimes (Tammy Grimes, y'all!), took a hiatus from a Broadway production of 42nd Street to put in cameos. Everyone is great in their roles, and do their best to help pad out some of the sections of the book that were excised in this adaptation.

Shot on Shelter Island in New York, director Mel Damski creates a quiet, sensitive and intriguing drama-bordering-on-thriller that was met with mostly positive reviews when it was originally released. The sad part is that the act of victim blaming is still all too relevant, even now, thirty years after the release of this worthwhile TV movie.

(Note: apologies for the blurry stills, it was the best I could get!)

Here is the TV promo spot for Invasion of Privacy:

Nature's Fury Blogathon: Ants (aka It Happened at Lakewood Manor, 1977)

Network: ABC 
Original Airdate: December 2nd, 1977 

Before I start any review, I always conduct cursory research on my chosen film and hope for the best. Some of the most famous TV movies have little to no information, and sometimes the most obscure movies pull up all kinds of stuff (Dude, I can read all about Sorority Kill even if I can’t watch it). Associated Press was a fickle beast is all I will say about it. And then, I’m just Googling-along all innocent-like for info on Ants, and one of the first returns is SUZANNE SOMERS BREASTS ANTS! Well, that just about sums up what is arguably the most iconic scene in Ants (aka It Happened at Lakewood Manor). But let’s be honest, Ants ain’t exactly rife with “iconic” images; however, it is certainly well regarded, and well remembered by those who caught it when they were young enough to accept some of the more ludicrous moments. Upon a recent rewatch of Ants for this review, I found that the film is even more delightful than I remembered. Crazy and inconceivable for sure, but also a bit darker in tone than I was expecting and a little icky too.

The plot is as straightforward as they come: When a construction site accidentally unearths a swarm of poisonous ants during a dig, nearby Lakewood Manor is overrun by the little guys. Chaos ensues.

Well, OK, so there’s a lot of melodrama in there too. This is what we call character development, and some of it is clunky and awkward, especially anything with Ethel, played by the great Myrna Loy. Now, I’ve seen Myrna in a few TV movies and she’s generally a treat (Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate and The Elevator are two great examples), but it’s obvious that she was not into the material. However, the main stars Lynda Day George and Robert Foxworth make the most of what’s been given to them, and I actually felt invested in watching them crawl out of that hotel shaped anthill with all their lovely bits intact.

Most of the subplots are romance driven, which is always a plus for my starry-eyed inclinations. For example, Valerie (George) and Mike (Foxworth... or Foxy-worth as I have been known to call him), who make one of the most gorgeous made up couples ever, are interested in getting Valerie’s mom, Ethel to sell Lakewood Manor so they can move to San Francisco and live happily ever after... and send her mom packing to Florida. There’s also a pretty and hippie-ish drifter named Linda (Karen Lamm) who is tired of life on the road and hooks up with OMG gorgeous Richard (Barry Van Dyke), and love instantly blossoms. Heck, even the construction inspector (Anita Gillette) seems to have a bit of chemistry with the ant expert (Bruce French)!

And, if it isn’t about falling in love, it’s about the end of love, such as the story with Marjorie (Barbara Brownell) who is staying at the Manor with her son, Tommy (the forever adorable Moosie Drier) as she recovers from a divorce. And, of course no epic TV movie about insect invasions is complete without a little sinful love, and we get that with Miss Antsonbreasts herself, Gloria (Somers) and the evil Tony (Gerald Gordon) who is obviously lecherous and easily tagged as the guy who’s going to mess everything up. He does it in a spectacular fashion though, so all is forgiven. See, TV movies have never been about subtlety, which works in the favor of this compact, and economical little disaster/insect amok flick.

But, despite all of the romantic shenanigans, audiences really showed for the creepy-crawly treachery, and it is done very well. While I miss the Empire of the Ants ant-cam, there’s plenty of up close vermin shots, and lots of brave actors let those buggers crawl all over them (the above referenced Somers to name but one). And no one is safe from potential victimization. There’s a great scene with Tommy frantically jumping into a pool even though he can’t swim because he’s covered in coffee grounds… er, I mean... ants. Yikes.

There is also a fantastic firetruck ladder stunt, which leads to an OK helicopter stunt that ends with a horde obnoxious stunt onlookers finding themselves in the line of fire. At this point, I was definitely rooting for the ants.

The ant expert gives us the lowdown on why the ants are out for blood: buried for years, these insects have sucked up all of the toxins we humans have tried to entomb and hide away within the earth. Yes, humans are pretty much to blame for everything, so I’ll buy it. But, then we are told these ants, which have already killed at least two people and injured a few more, aren’t aggressive if you are just real still. So, then we get a shot of three actors sitting motionless with little tubes (made out of 1970s wallpaper!) in their mouths so they can breathe. I remember when I first saw this as an adult and I wondered if it was really so hard to step on them and just leave? But, ludicrous is part and parcel for our little insect amok flicks, and I’ve learned to take my ant havoc with a grain of salt. Wait, doesn’t salt kill ants? Hmmm, maybe they could have done that?

In the confident hands of journeyman TV director Robert Scheerer (Changing Scene, Poor Devil and tons of episodic fare), and with a script by TV movie veteran Guerdon Trueblood (The Love War, Sole Survivor, and Ants' companion Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo), and thanks to the actors who wanted to be there (and also to Myrna for just showing up cuz I still love her so), Ants is a good reminder that even if a telefilm doesn’t get under your skin (ha!) television factory filmmaking was often much better than it should have been.

This review is part of Cinematic Catharsis's excellent Nature's Fury Blogathon! Check out more of the reviews here and here. 

TV Movie Marathoning!

Oh, the glamour! 

I made it through another semester, and to celebrate, I watched a gaggle of TVMs! I thought it would be fun to jot down some brief thoughts on each film, making it a one-woman-blogathon!

Eyes of a Stranger 
Network: NBC
Original Airdate: December 7th, 1992

First up was this early 90s curio starring the babe-a-licious Parker Stevenson and the gorgeous Emma Samms as an upper class couple who run afoul of a two-bit hoodlum (Michael Easton), and his lovely professor/girlfriend (Joan Chen, working some nifty silver flats in the last scene). The couple's lives collide during a rainstorm, and all paths lead to accidental murder, badly thought out cover-ups, some not bad small screen sex scenes and exploding boats.

Written and directed by Richard Friedman, the mastermind behind the goofy but lovable Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge, Stranger is a bit of a convoluted mess. The worst issue was the timeline. For example, Samms finds a videotape on a boat, and after some major mayhem, the boat is burnt to a crisp, and then at least two days pass before the tape comes into question again. Samms tells someone she found the tape yesterday, which would have been impossible.

It’s also ridiculously predictable, but watchable because of the cast, and the overall confident and slick look of the film. I wouldn’t be surprised if a sexier version of this movie exists, but was edited for television. It has all the markings of those early 90s erotic thrillers that I enjoy so much. Interesting then, that it was produced by Doris Keating, whose father directed such films as The Diary of Knockers McCalla and Fanny Hill Meets Dr. Erotico. I don’t necessarily recommend this to anyone except the Samms or Stevenson completest. Since I fall into the latter, I can’t really complain. Stevenson takes off his shirt just enough to keep me interested! Yes, I'm superficial, and easy to please.

Valentine Magic on Love Island 
Network: NBC 
Original Airdate: February 15, 1980

As if Supertrain wasn’t enough of a disaster for NBC, the execs tried to put a spin on Love Boat and Fantasy Island yet again in this choppy, and chaotic romantic comedy that is somewhat watchable and sometimes fun, but not nearly as great as the similar Three on Date.

Eight singles visit Love Island in the hopes of becoming four couples, and… hmmm… if I do my math correctly, yeah, I think we do end up with four couples. I guess that’s a testament to how haphazard the whole thing is, that I had go back through my mind to remember what happened (and the movie just ended 10 minutes ago). Still, gotta love (even if just a little) anything that stars Bill Daily, Lisa Hartman, Dominique Dunne, Christopher Knight, Janis Page, Adrienne Barbeau and Dody Goodman, right? And that’s just part of the game cast, who make the most of the crap material they were handed. (Random trivia: This was the second time Knight and Dunne appeared in a TVM together. The other telefilm was 1979's Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker)

Paige is the Mr. Roarke who mixes up her “white” magic in the hopes of helping people reach complete coupledom (or consciously couple as the young kids might say). Of course, there has to be a little mismatching and mischief first, where little to no hilarity ensues, but there’s a pretty cool costume party. Unfortunately, this Dick Clark production does not have a good beat and I had a hard time dancing to it (see what I did there). But, like the small screen sucker I am, it was good to finally see it.

Sorry, Wrong Number 
Network: USA
Original Airdate: October 11, 1989

This movie has been on my “To Watch” list for what seems like forever. A TVM based on a theatrical film, which was based on a radio play sparked my interest, and yes, I like Loni’s TVMs quite a bit (thinking of My Mother’s Secret Life right at this moment!), and it’s a USA Original… and… and… well, you get my drift. Despite mixed reviews, there are some films I simply need to see for myself. Luckily, although this remake isn’t, like, the best movie ever or anything, it’s a pretty fun timewaster with a surprisingly suspenseful ending.

Loni is Madeline, a Dynasty-rich invalid who has a wild New Year's Eve getting her lines crossed over and over again. Overhearing two men planning a murder of an unknown woman in Madeline’s neighborhood, this housebound heiress starts to uncover the mystery behind her strained marriage, and the real danger that lurks just outside of her door. Slick and confident, Sorry is also helped by a wonderfully capable cast including Patrick Macnee, Hal Holbrook, and OMG hawt Carl Weintraub. It’s not like you don’t know where this one is going, but the wonderful pacing and crisp and glamorous aesthetics are well worth a look. My favorite of the three films I watched.

I also took two naps. It was a great day.

The Missing are Deadly (1975)

Network: ABC
Original Air Date: January 8, 1975

I guess when you watch (and re-watch) as many TV movies as I do, it’s inevitable that titles and stories will blur together. Just the other day I made a total fool of myself during a conversation about Terror on the 40th Floor because I thought the movie they were referring to was the USA original Nightmare on the 13th Floor.

Boy, did I feel stoopid.

And, yet again, I recently thought I knew all about The Missing are Deadly because I had a copy of The Dead Don’t Die. Ummm, OK. So, the second I pushed the play button on Deadly I realized I had once more mistaken one title for another… and frankly, I’m not cool with it. I need my TVM street cred the way others need water. But life is a learning experience… Then I saw the names Ed Nelson and Leonard Nimoy, and the world was OK again. At least for the next 74 minutes. I’m not really sure I knew much about this movie, aside from the title (which I obviously was only half familiar with), and was surprised that this Nimoy flick had not been on my radar. It’s quite fun, if insubstantial.

Ed Nelson is Dr. Margolin, a Nobel Prize winning scientist who has traded in his microscope to deal with the bureaucracy behind medicine, and is now essentially a PR guy for a state of the art laboratory. This lab is run by the cutting edge Dr. Durov (Leonard Nimoy rocking the hazmat suit), who is obsessed with finding a cure for “Mambosa Fever.” Although he’s been asked to postpone his research, he is secretly infecting rats with the disease and then injecting another virus into them in an effort to kill the Fever.

Meanwhile (or "later that same day" depending on your choice of comics), at Margolin’s home everything is a wreck. Even though he lives with his kids, Margolin is an absentee father who spends all day and night at his lab. His oldest son, David (George O’Hanlon Jr.) is essentially raising his little brother, a teenager named Jeff (Gary Morgan) who thinks he’s an alien and eats rabbit food! Everyone calls him “special,” but I think they meant annoying. Certainly, Dad thinks so, and wants to send Jeff off to a school that can handle delusional-alien-wanna-be rabbit-pellet-dieters.

So, for their last weekend together, David whisks his girlfriend Michelle (Kathleen Quinlan) and Jeff off to the forest for a weekend of bonding. But first he stops off at Dad’s lab where Jeff steals an infected rat. Before you know it, Mambosa Fever is spreading throughout the city!

That’s some kind of set-up! Honestly, my synopsis probably takes longer to read than it does to watch. At 74 minutes, it’s all fairly brisk and the bulk of the film involves Durov and Margolin racing to find a cure, and desperate to locate Margolin’s kids before it’s too late. The wrap up is absolutely predictable, and the film just sort of ends as quickly as it starts.

Yet, while Deadly is admittedly a mostly forgettable entry in the ABC Movie of the Week lineup, it has some things going for it. For one, there are no bad guys. The villain in this TVM is the Fever. Even Mr. Warren (Jose Ferrer), the corporate suit paying for the lab, is all about taking responsibility, notifying the public and offering services to the infected. And he doesn’t have to be coerced into it either! Like the movie Heatwave, which I reviewed recently, Deadly wants to see the best in people. Kind of makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. So either that’s a good sign, or I just contracted Mambosa Fever!

And of course, the cast is great. Both Nelson and Nimoy are given little meat to chew on, but they play off each other beautifully. Ferrer has a fairly thankless role, but he’s always a treat, and Quinlan finds herself trapped in the mountains yet again, after Where Have All the People Gone in 1974. Oh, and you might not see her through the hazmat suit, but keep an ear out for Marla Gibbs as a nurse! I can only give Deadly a light recommendation, but fans of the ABC Movie of the Week certainly know what they are signing up for, and those who know the drill will enjoy it.

Invitation to Hell (1984)

Network: ABC
Original Air Date: May 24, 1984

While I’ve always felt Invitation to Hell was the least of Wes Craven’s first three TV movies (he directed four telefilms in all, along with some episodic television), it’s still an interesting and fantastical (well, preposterously fantastical) look at the excessiveness of the 1980s. It also plays heavily on the destruction of the family from outside forces – this force being a gorgeous Susan Lucci as a female Satan! We call that a win.

Robert Urich is Matt Winslow, a hard working family man who swaps Midwest winters for the temperate rolling hills of a suburban community in Southern California. He gets a job with a place mostly referred to as “The Company” and his life goes upscale fast. In fact, the Winslow house is brimming with gadgets and new, expensive things. But, despite the posh surroundings, the family (mostly Matt’s wife, Pat, played by the lovely Joanna Cassidy) long to find entrance into “The Club,” or rather, the more aptly titled, Steaming Springs, which is the playground of the In Crowd. It’s also a gateway to hell, but I mean, other than that, this is everything they’ve ever wanted (again, you know, minus hell). Cars, big houses, a feeling of stability, and the loss of their soul. Oh wait. That last part wasn’t supposed to be part of the bargain.

At work, Matt is developing a fairly ludicrous “space” suit that will allow someone to get close to the core of the earth, which works out nicely since, you know, hell is down below, ya dig? But it’s mostly a plot point and a way to concoct a rather outrageous and aesthetically oh-so-80s version of a trip to Hades.

The meat of the story revolves around excess, consumerism, the desire for acceptance and a deep need to project the right image. Some of the dialogue is surprisingly clever and telling, and Urich is great as the fraught family man who seems to be the only one who can see through Jessica Jones’ (Lucci) otherworldly and sinister charm. Invitation was Lucci’s prime time telefeature debut and in an interview to promote the movie Lucci stated that she felt the film had a “realistic” vibe. This is a statement I’ve always struggled with because, let’s face it… Invitation to Hell is absurd. And I don’t mean cheeky and over the top… I mean the story is ridiculous, That’s not an insult, but you do have to stretch your suspension of disbelief quite a bit to get into the weird premise.

However, as already mentioned, the underlying themes are fascinating and definitely comment on the unabashed yuppie-ness of the decade, while also mingling the high concept with a strong sense of nostalgia for the 1950s (also an eighties trope). So, in short, the viewer has to walk an extremely fine line with Invitation, as it uneasily mixes allegory with melodramatic family dynamics, but it does feature a stunning Susan Lucci in lots of great outfits. And, the gorgeous and much missed Robert Urich is there to help you through some of the flaws.

While I still feel this my least favorite of the “Craven Three,” I’ve watched Invitation more than Chiller or Summer of Fear (in fact, I think I’ve watched this movie three times since 2015 started!). I’m really drawn to the look of it, Urich’s likable persona and the way it creates an insane universe where Lucci is a sexy Beelzebub and Soleil Moon Frye is a possessed demon child. Seriously, what’s not to love?

Invitation to Hell is on DVD (and for cheap!)

And here's an image gallery of some Lucci awesomeness: