The Missing are Deadly (1975)

Network: ABC
Original Air Date: January 8, 1975

I guess when you watch (and re-watch) as many TV movies as I do, it’s inevitable that titles and stories will blur together. Just the other day I made a total fool of myself during a conversation about Terror on the 40th Floor because I thought the movie they were referring to was the USA original Nightmare on the 13th Floor.

Boy, did I feel stoopid.

And, yet again, I recently thought I knew all about The Missing are Deadly because I had a copy of The Dead Don’t Die. Ummm, OK. So, the second I pushed the play button on Deadly I realized I had once more mistaken one title for another… and frankly, I’m not cool with it. I need my TVM street cred the way others need water. But life is a learning experience… Then I saw the names Ed Nelson and Leonard Nimoy, and the world was OK again. At least for the next 74 minutes. I’m not really sure I knew much about this movie, aside from the title (which I obviously was only half familiar with), and was surprised that this Nimoy flick had not been on my radar. It’s quite fun, if insubstantial.

Ed Nelson is Dr. Margolin, a Nobel Prize winning scientist who has traded in his microscope to deal with the bureaucracy behind medicine, and is now essentially a PR guy for a state of the art laboratory. This lab is run by the cutting edge Dr. Durov (Leonard Nimoy rocking the hazmat suit), who is obsessed with finding a cure for “Mambosa Fever.” Although he’s been asked to postpone his research, he is secretly infecting rats with the disease and then injecting another virus into them in an effort to kill the Fever.

Meanwhile (or "later that same day" depending on your choice of comics), at Margolin’s home everything is a wreck. Even though he lives with his kids, Margolin is an absentee father who spends all day and night at his lab. His oldest son, David (George O’Hanlon Jr.) is essentially raising his little brother, a teenager named Jeff (Gary Morgan) who thinks he’s an alien and eats rabbit food! Everyone calls him “special,” but I think they meant annoying. Certainly, Dad thinks so, and wants to send Jeff off to a school that can handle delusional-alien-wanna-be rabbit-pellet-dieters.

So, for their last weekend together, David whisks his girlfriend Michelle (Kathleen Quinlan) and Jeff off to the forest for a weekend of bonding. But first he stops off at Dad’s lab where Jeff steals an infected rat. Before you know it, Mambosa Fever is spreading throughout the city!

That’s some kind of set-up! Honestly, my synopsis probably takes longer to read than it does to watch. At 74 minutes, it’s all fairly brisk and the bulk of the film involves Durov and Margolin racing to find a cure, and desperate to locate Margolin’s kids before it’s too late. The wrap up is absolutely predictable, and the film just sort of ends as quickly as it starts.

Yet, while Deadly is admittedly a mostly forgettable entry in the ABC Movie of the Week lineup, it has some things going for it. For one, there are no bad guys. The villain in this TVM is the Fever. Even Mr. Warren (Jose Ferrer), the corporate suit paying for the lab, is all about taking responsibility, notifying the public and offering services to the infected. And he doesn’t have to be coerced into it either! Like the movie Heatwave, which I reviewed recently, Deadly wants to see the best in people. Kind of makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. So either that’s a good sign, or I just contracted Mambosa Fever!

And of course, the cast is great. Both Nelson and Nimoy are given little meat to chew on, but they play off each other beautifully. Ferrer has a fairly thankless role, but he’s always a treat, and Quinlan finds herself trapped in the mountains yet again, after Where Have All the People Gone in 1974. Oh, and you might not see her through the hazmat suit, but keep an ear out for Marla Gibbs as a nurse! I can only give Deadly a light recommendation, but fans of the ABC Movie of the Week certainly know what they are signing up for, and those who know the drill will enjoy it.

TV Spot Tuesday and an Announcement: It’s Soapalicious!

 

I wasn’t joking when I said that soap operas were just like their characters – they never truly die. And it looks like All My Children and One Life to Live will be resurrected yet again when they return to television for a limited engagement on Oprah’s OWN cable channel! Beginning July 15th, OWN will air the first 40 episodes of the revived serials. 

I think many soap fans remember how we turned to Oprah when the shows were cancelled and she said financing them was not a feasible option. Well, times and hearts change and it would appear that picking up the shows rather than producing them makes it a much more viable option for OWN. While I was not particularly pleased with Oprah’s original rejection, I have to say this seems like a really smart win-win for both OWN and the shows’ production company Prospect Park. The largest obstacle going against the new shows is that some fans have been extremely resistant when it comes to changing their viewing habits from television to the internet. I hope this draws them in and if they are successful, it is possible some will move over to Hulu or that OWN will continue to air the shows. 

Oh yeah, and if you can't wait for next week, you can stream all the episodes for AMC here and OLTL here. Presto. 

All My Children will air Monday-Thursday at 1 PM. and One Life to Live will air Monday-Thursday at 3 PM.

Yes sir, it looks like love has returned to the afternoon, so I thought it might be fun to post some promos from the 80s. I do hope everyone tunes in to this 10 week run. We are proving to be a force, and while this may seem low on some people’s importance scale, it is imperative to note that when you organize yourself and others around something your are passionate about, you really can make a difference. And that's my pep talk for the day!

So what are you waiting for? Let’s get our soap-promo-groove-on!

Here are some great promos for AMC: 

And here are some more for OLTL: 

And here is a double whammy twofer combo batch of awesomeness: 

Mary and Rhoda (2000)

Network: ABC
Air Date: February 7th, 2000
 
I’m just going to put it out there for everyone… I liked the Mary and Rhoda reunion movie. Did I love it? No, but I did enjoy it quite a bit. I’m sure some of it comes from the fact that Mary and Rhoda are simply creatures of comfort. For as long as I can remember I’ve loved Rhoda. I actually didn’t get into the Mary Tyler Moore Show until later, but I remember being a big fan of Rhoda when her show first went into syndication in the 70s. I loved her apartment, I loved her sister, and boy, did I love Joe (David Groh). OK, I didn’t love him right off the bat, I liked him, and was sad when their marriage didn’t work out. Then I was terrified by him when he played D.L. Brock on General Hospital. Then I fell in love with him as an adult when I had a chance to watch Smash-Up on Interstate 5. It took 30 years for me to realize how incredibly gorgeous he was, but once I did I never looked back! As an aside, I saw David Groh about a year or so before he passed away eating lunch at the restaurant next to my work. He was in a heated conversation with his friend and after I got about 10 feet away from him, both my friend I looked at each other very excitedly and squealed “That was David Groh!!!” which was kind of awesome since my friend is a guy and doesn’t really squeal. But that’s the effect David had on us. Wait, that wasn’t just an aside, that whole opening was an aside… Back to work…

Mary and Rhoda was intended to be a television series, but because the pilot was not well received by the ol’ ABC execs the show was eventually turned into a TV reunion movie. Moore, who served as executive producer stated during filming that she saw Mary and Rhoda as the first of a series of movies where she could bring back people like Lou Grant. Moore said in an interview, “My feeling at the time was, since we had so many new people to introduce, we should stick with our new family.” Moore also revealed that working as a producer on this project was stressful and that she longed for her old buddies on the set. "It would have made me feel a lot comfier,” she said in the same interview, “to have some of those pals around, but that’s something for future projects, maybe.” That maybe was of course never to be, because despite the fact that it was an enormous success in terms of the numbers of viewers (somewhere around 18 million!), it was considered tepid at best by the critics (and many of the fans). I would imagine the biggest complaints were that the humor was a lot more sentimental and sweet and less laugh out loud, and omitting the old Minneapolis crew was a let down.

Mary and Rhoda picks up about two decades later as both the of the women find themselves in New York City. Mary’s senator husband has just died in a rock climbing accident (!) and Rhoda is divorced from some French guy that she apparently really hates! They both have daughters that are the same age, and each one has been named in tribute of mother’s BFF. Rhoda’s daughter is named Meredith (Marisa Ryan) and Mary’s daughter is named Rose (Bethany Joy Lenz) after, you guessed it, Rhoda! Although the movie doesn’t really delve into the daughter’s characters, it looks like they could have been switched at birth. Meredith is pragmatic and smart and Rose uses every situation to make a joke. In fact, she wants to leave school to become a comedian. Too bad she’s not so good at it. Hey, we can’t all be Rhoda. But the crux of the movie, and a reason I really enjoyed it, was that it made a strong statement about women and ageism in the workplace. Both Mary and Rhoda want to get back to their old career women lives, but neither is taken seriously. There’s a humorous interview montage where Mary begins lying about her age and it ends with her asking, “How old do you think I look?” as she peeks out behind dark sunglasses. In the end, Mary is only hired for a news show because the boss is worried that he’s going to be sued by another disgruntled employee for age discrimination. Mary sets out to prove herself to the station with a rather schmaltzy news story involving white gangs! I kid you not. It’s silly, it’s heavy-handed, it’s overly sentimental and it’s probably the weakest part of the movie (definitely expect to groan a little), but it works in the story, since Mary is still portrayed as the girl who likes to let her heart get in the way of sensationalism.

Rhoda’s story isn’t as strong, but it’s more fun, as she ends up being an assistant to a fashion photographer. Of course, humor always gets her on people’s good side, and this time is no different. Honestly, I’m a Rhoda-phile, so I would have preferred more Rhoda, but overall I thought the film was sweet. Does it compare to either Mary or Rhoda’s phenomenal shows? No, it doesn’t even come close, but it’s so innocuous, I can’t really complain much. I just loved seeing these two lovely ladies reunited. While I won’t recommend the movie, I will say if you are a TV movie softie like me, you will probably enjoy it.

Just had to throw in one pic of Joe! Rawr!

Mary and Rhoda airing on Hallmark!

Looks like they made it after all!

Despite the fact that Mary and Rhoda scored almost 18 million viewers when it premiered on February 7th, 2000 on ABC, I somehow managed to miss it. How did that happen? Two of my favorite TV girls reuniting decades later and I wasn't there! Where was I? I can't correctly recall now but I'm sure whatever I was doing, it wasn't nearly as fun.

Mary and Rhoda was originally intended to be a television series but the suits at ABC weren't happy with the pilot (suits = bah) and decided to have a one off film, which turned out to be incredibly successful, beating out that night's competitors (as if there were any questions!).

So, I was thrilled to see that the Hallmark Channel is airing Mary and Rhoda on Sunday, April 1st at 8pm! And to make life even sweeter, they are also hosting an all day marathon of The Mary Tyler Moore Show starting at 10am - after 4 episodes of the Golden Girls. I think this might be heaven. I know I say that a lot, but this time I do think this might actually be heaven, or at least sitcom heaven... Although I am sure the wardrobe won't be quite as groovy.

Here is the opening to Mary and Rhoda. And yes, that is Joan Jett singing the theme! My, how times have changed!



And check out the Mary and Rhoda page at Rhoda online.

Black History Month: Voyage of The Yes (1973)

Network: CBS
Original Air Date: January 16th, 1973

I had no idea that when I picked up my copy of the Voyage of the Yes that I was going to be watching a movie with two of my favorite studly funny guys who are in this month’s poll. I knew Mike Evans, most famous for playing Lionel Jefferson #1 on The Jeffersons was in it, but lo and behold, was that Scoey Mitchell I just laid my eyes on? Yes, it is. Scoey’s part is small but very important to this story about how complex and simple real friendship is.

Mike Evans is Orlando B. Parker. He’s from the Chicago slums but does his best to keep away from the nastier elements of his hood. Unfortunately, his uncle named Pretty (Scoey Mitchell) is doing his best to drag Orlando down to his level. During an argument, Orlando accidentally kills Pretty – and it ain’t pretty… I know, I’ve got a million of ‘em… and he goes on the run.

Pretty is about become less Pretty very soon!
Desi Arnez Jr. is Cal Maxwell. He’s the rich Beverly Hills type kid with a badass convertible and a sweet little boat. He is going off to college in the fall and wants to spend the end of his break sailing to Hawaii but his parents (played by the wonderful Beverly Garland and Skip Homeier) insist he bring someone. But Cal is a solitary kind of guy.

Luckily, Cal runs into Orlando, and asks him to go on his trip. No one knows much about Orlando, and they are especially unaware of the murder charges awaiting him if the law ever catches up to him. Essentially, Orlando is a really good guy, but this accident makes him do a lot of stupid things when he’s out at sea with Cal. It’s obvious he wants to punish himself, but because he’s young and a little immature, he ends up becoming a hazard to both himself and his shipmate. They wind up stranded because of his self-destructive behavior, and without gas, food and water, time is running out fast. It is here, which is the bulk of the film, we watch two men work together and form an intensely deep relationship that surpasses color and background.

Studs of the high seas!
Voyage of the Yes is one of the most quietly profound movies I have seen in a long time. It was originally intended to be a pilot and I think it would have made a compelling series, as we watched these men travel to various ports. As it stands, this film is a character study that embraces our many differences and commonalities. And like any good human drama, we get a decent shark attack as well! What was so interesting about the whole set up was that it is reminiscent of another shark-irific TV movie aptly titled Shark Kill, which came out three years later in 1976. In that film we’ve got a white and a Hispanic fighting the odds of nature and learning to understand each other along the way. The only difference was the pair in Shark Kill weren't even afforded the luxury of a boat, they were just floating around the ocean! The theme of man against shark was of course never better than in Jaws, but both Shark Kill and Voyage of the Yes do remarkable jobs getting inside their characters (granted, the shark scene in Voyage is only a small part of the film, albeit significant). These are small but effective films and something I wish we'd see more of today.

The quiet before the storm
Mike Evans is the standout. Taking Evans and Desi Jr. out of their comedic elements was a bold move, and the payoff is grand. Evans portrayal of Orlando is sensitive and heartfelt. It’s a little harder to like Cal at the beginning because he’s so remote, but that’s the point. Throughout their journey, Cal opens up and becomes a much more rounded character while Orlando comes to terms with what he’s done. This film makes great use of the Simon and Garfunkel song El Condor Pasa and the poignant and haunting ending has stuck with me for days.

I can’t say enough good things about this movie, but I’ll leave it simply at see this movie! It’s available through Amazon (DVD and Download) and it’s affordable too!

TV Movie Watchin' - Netflix Style!

Oh man, thank heavens for Netflix! I had one of those rare open weekends where popcorn-eating-soda-drinking awesomeness commenced. Although I added about 100 movies to my queue, I was only able to get three down... but it was a good three... mostly.


A Matter of Sex (1984): This was the first, and best of the bunch. A Matter of Sex is based on the true story of the Willmar 8, who were a group of a women working in a bank in a small Minnesota town that got fed up with sex discrimination. Jean Stapleton leads the small and passionate brigade, and the film works as a really interesting time capsule reminding us that while women still have some way to go in the world of equal rights, we have also come really far. Some of the stuff the boss says is just outrageous. While this didn't make me want to grab my sisters' hands and sing We Shall Overcome, it still really made me proud of what some people have done to equal the playing field.


Dinah Manoff is a standout here in her dramatic turn as a country mouse turned labor union organizer. Jean Stapleton is of course fantastic too, and overall the eight women are wonderful in their parts.

Although the film takes place in Minnesota, some of the Canadian accents and faces will get you. I noticed Jeannie Elias from The Pit and Peter Spence from Crazy Moon! Lee Grant, who I worship as an actress, made a documentary on these women called The Willmar 8 and then she adapted her doc into this movie which she also directed. I'm telling you, women are doing it for themselves!


Forbidden Love (1982): This one was up next and yet again we've got another May/December romance where the older, sophisticated women falls in love with a much younger man. Yvette Mimieux is Joanna. She's outrageously fashionable, has the body of a teenager and a crazy sexy way about her. Andrew Stevens is Casey, a handsome medical intern who comes from very little and works hard for his money. The sparks are instant (they meet at a ski resort which is so friggin' 80s I could die! ) but once they get the van-a-rockin' they soon find out not everyone is copacetic on this whole unholy union.


While I liked this movie, it has all of my favorite elements - an oversized and ridiculously glamorous house, fantastic clothes, beautiful men - I didn't like the story (or the chemistry) as much as I enjoyed Anatomy of a Seduction, although one could argue they are basically the same film (For the record, Anatomy is also streaming on Netflix). I'm not exactly sure what was missing in the formula, but it was still a fun watch. Jerry Houser, who played Wally on The Brady Brides, is one of Casey's BFFs and I just love seeing that man in anything!


Condor (1986): In the somewhat near future (or maybe even our past, I think this movie takes place around 2000), there are lots of things that are futuristic but look like 1980s LA. Throw in a robotic fast food employee and a lady in silver spandex and you've got... well it still looks like 80s LA. Ray Wise is Christopher Proctor, an employee at a covert crime fighting company called Condor. His partner is killed and he's saddled with a lovely female robot named Lisa Hampton (Wendy Kilbourne). They are hot on the heels of an escaped prisoner named Rachel Hawkings played by Carolyn Seymour (get it... Hawkings vs. Condor?!? HA!). Apparently she did some really bad things and is now back at it, and she works as the madwoman behind a large glowing light computer. Oh man, the futuristic 80s was so good!


I really wanted to like Condor and it's not like it's bad or good, it's just kind of there. I had a hard time following the story and I kept getting put off by the female robot doing stuff like sleeping. I know she's supposed to be all human and everything but those little tidbits distracted me. I did like Proctor's cat though... Adorable! Also, it was nice to see Craig Stevens from Peter Gunn but he looked like he'd rather be elsewhere. Wise is good in the part, but this is really not his film...

I kept wondering where I recognized Wendy from. She was in North and South and married her co-star James Read. She has quit acting and the two are still married. Awwww! I love happy endings!

And I have to say, that's really how my weekend ended... happily.

The Rule of Four

With the premiere of the second season of Hot in Cleveland looming (January 19th), I’ve been thinking a little about cool as ice female quartets. In 1985, when the Golden Girls hit the scene, audiences were treated to older females who could give any youngster a run for their money. The formula stuck and since then, several shows have tried their hand (and quite successfully) at the brassy and sassy mature female blueprint and I thought I’d take a look back at my favorite foxes.

The Golden Girls (1985 – 1992): Nothing will ever come close to the timeless hilarity of The Golden Girls. We have four women ranging in personality, Rose (Betty White) was the lightheaded but sweet one, Dorothy (Bea Arthur) was the smart as a whip one, Blanche (Rue McClanahan) was the oversexed one and Sophia (Estelle Getty) was the old one. The women were either widowed or divorced and were learning to make their way through the singles scene of the 1980s. Not only was the show absolutely brilliant, but it gave lots and lots of mature actors good work. The guest stars included everyone from Anne Francis to Leslie Nielsen (sadly, both actors have passed away recently). Even super famous people like Burt Reynolds and Bob Hope stopped by the hottest address in Florida. The Golden Girls worked not only because it was well written and superbly acted, but it also reached an audience that wasn’t being spoken to (and is even less spoken to now). The show was all about being older and vital. It wanted you to know you could be sexy and fun at any age. It said women didn’t have to be their own worst enemies and it also said cheesecake soothes the soul.

Bea Arthur left after seven seasons and the show was retooled as Golden Palace. There were some misfires here, but overall, making Cheech Marin the new Dorothy wasn’t such a bad idea. The show only lasted one season but was pretty fun. Sure it wasn’t the original, but the ideas and themes still ran through it.

One of the things I adore about this show, but didn’t really understand it until later, was that these women looked like real women. I mean, Betty White has always been pretty smokin’ hot, but in general, these women looked like people any of us would know in our real lives. As I got older I began to appreciate this little detail. It makes me feel like I don’t have to constantly pluck and starve. I will probably always dye my hair, but you know, two out of three ain’t bad! The shows that followed slowly lost this little physically relatable thing, and that’s pretty sad.


Designing Women (1966 – 1993): Hot to follow the success of The Golden Girls, the premise was retooled with four younger (but still mature) women who worked together at an interior design business. The company was owned by Julia Sugarbaker (Dixie Carter), and she was brash and not always likable. She did however, have an always lovable sister named Suzanne (the sublime Delta Burke). OK, she wasn’t very likable at all, she was bratty and spoiled, but that is what made me gravitate to her. She was so well written and I loved her little beauty pageant bubble. There was also Mary Jo Shively (Annie Potts), who was an adorable single mom with impeccable taste and great fluffy hair. And then there was Charlene (Jean Smart), who was the bubbly and sometimes illogical secretary. Basically Julia was Dorothy, Suzanne was Blanche, Charlene was Rose and Mary Jo was, uh, Sophia… well, OK, so that one doesn’t fit, but you get where I’m going with this.

Designing Women was a very good show, although I don’t think it has aged nearly as well. It’s still enjoyable, but it doesn’t resonate with me the way The Golden Girls did. However, before the show fell apart when Delta left, Suzanne became a really poignant character. Delta, who had battled eating disorders, was having a hard time keeping her weight down. The writing became rather insulting but it somehow made Suzanne this complex creature. In the end, the only ones who truly suffered were the people left on the fledgling sitcom, because without Suzanne, they were nothing (Jean Smart also left the show at this point). Julia Duffy and Jan Hooks spent some time at Sugarbakers, but it was actually during the last season when Judith Ivey joined the cast, that it got back any of the magic the earlier Suzanne seasons had. Too little too late, the show was cancelled.

I often found Julia really frustrating at times. I’m all for brash southern belles, but she really took non-issues and made them even lamer than before. I think I remember an episode where Julia reads an article about how southern people eat dirt and she called the author and one of her 'Julia Monologues' or something like that. I was like, “Really, Julia? Don’t you have a business to run?” And don’t even get me started on the episode with the magazine vendor who sold a Playboy type magazine! Aargh! But otherwise, the show was a lot of fun and their ages, which ranged from early 30s to middle aged 40s felt like an afterthought. They were dignified and independent and they shared a real camaraderie. Also, I would kill for a lot of the stuff Annie Potts wore. Incredible!

I should probably also add that re-tooling the show meant adding a male character played by Meshach Taylor. Granted, The Golden Girls did have a gay cook in the premiere episode, so perhaps it wasn’t all that re-tooled at all…

Sex and the City (1998 – 2004): I’ll be honest, I didn’t really watch this show. I’ve maybe seen it twice and thought it was amusing but not my cup o’ tea. I would say essentially they are all Blanche, because this show seemed to be about sex more than anything else. Again, we’ve got four independent friends who are searching for love in the city that never sleeps. What I remember most is that again, although I’m beginning to see a homogenization of not only the physical female form but also the overtly sexual attitude of women (in television especially), this show did still handle the “older” women with some sort of dignity and thought. Kim Cattrall stood out to me because she was just so gorgeous and still doing nudity into her forties. Older women doing nudity was something that always came across as a rarity, but she seemed to be nekkid an awful lot, and I loved the idea of it. Not only did it reinvigorate her career but in essence it remained true to the Golden Girls’ formula that aging didn’t have to mean losing the sexual part of yourself. Maybe it could even flourish. That’s a great message.

Hot in Cleveland (2010 - ): Wow, did things just come full circle or what? Betty White returned to the female foursome sitcom last year and let me tell you, Hot in Cleveland is dynamite! And I mean Jimmy Walker Dyyyy-nnnnnooooo-mite! Valerie Bertinelli is Melanie, a recently divorced author who is planning a trip to France with her friends Victoria Chase (Wendie Malick), a self-absorbed soap actress and Joy (Jane Leeves), an in demand beautician. But their plane needs to make an emergency landing in Cleveland. The first thing they notice is that men look at them. I mean, look at them… you know, with desire. The second thing they notice is that people are eating without shame. After some serious thought (and some seriously awesome nookie with John Schneider!), Melanie decides to get a house. That house comes with Elka (Betty White), the cantankerous caretaker who rounds out the dynamic quartet.

Filmed in front of an actual audience, Hot in Cleveland is legitimately funny and often warm. The three main friends have wonderful chemistry. Elka is there to be snarky and in essence, Betty has become the Sophia of the group. I would say Melanie is Rose, Victoria is Blanche and Joy is Dorothy. This combo has proved to be a sure sale, and the actresses here are fantastic in their parts. My only quibble would be that while every cast member is over 50 (well, Jane actually turns 50 this year!), none of them look like a real 50 something would. Hell, they don’t even really look like a 40 something. It’s amazing how lovely all the actresses have remained, but I find I miss 50 year old women who look 50. Betty looks fantastic too, but of course, looks a bit older than the rest of the crew. I think making the women LA natives really helps. I lived in tinsel town for over 10 years and I can tell you, women are overly obsessed with their image there. I mean, I think women anywhere can be really vain, but in California there is a real sense of panic looming over the over 30 set. The characters are ridiculously endearing, especially Betty White, and Malick shows off a great knack for physical comedy. I personally can’t wait for January 19th to roll around the corner!

Here’s the official website for Hot in Cleveland, now go set your DV-Rs!

By the way, I thought I was being all ingenious when I wrote this article, but after a quick search I came upon this fun piece on TV Squad that has even more awesome foursomes!

Here are the Designing Women at their Lifetime reunion show in 2003. Fab!

Must See Streaming Movie of the Week: The Initiation of Sarah (1978)

First things first: Thank you to Stacie at Final Girl for choosing this as the Film Club pick, and an extra big thank you to Netflix for streaming The Initiation of Sarah , which is simply a slice of TV movie paradise! For the record, my stills are from my trusty vhs print (I own the clamshell release, no less!). The streaming quality is much better! And please make sure you stop by Final Girl where you'll find links to more reviews.

As you were…

Network: ABC
Original Air Date: February 6th, 1978

I love Carrie riffs. From Jennifer to The Spell to Aenigma to, yeah, I’ll say it, even to Zapped, the put-upon-nerd-gets-revenge tale is one I hate to pass on. As a goofy teen turned slightly goofier adult, I always found a kinship with the underdog and love all films where the little guy comes out big. Even if it means the massacre of everyone on school grounds! Makes me edgy. At the same time, revenge becomes totally awesome when the bad guy is of the love-to-hate- ‘em variety. It’s one thing to watch the comeuppance of a villain, but it’s even sweeter when you find yourself cheering for their downfall. As much as I love Morgan Fairchild, I truly loathe her in her bitch-perfect portrayal of Jennifer, the beautiful sorority girl who uses tight turtlenecks and her perky little nose to hide the deep shades of black lurking within. God, I love her! Oh wait, no, I hate her! Oh, I’m so confused!

I love my stanky ho-bags!
Kay Lenz is Sarah, the shy wallflower who lives in her extroverted sister Patty’s (Morgan Brittany) shadow. Sarah is adopted and although Patty is her close confidante, she feels pretty distanced from the rest of the world. Getting into the ANS house, which is the coolest sorority on campus, would mean the sisters could stay together, but because Sarah is kind of frumpy (but has great bone structure), she also pledges at the PED house, which is where the smart, out of the loop girls hang. Unfortunately, the ANS house says PED is short for Pigs, Elephants and Dogs and their utter refusal to play nice makes them the arch enemies of nerdy girls the world over. The PEDs are led by the eccentric Mrs. Hunter (Shelly Winters), who gives off an extra weird vibe when she lets on that she knows a thing or two about Sarah’s parents. She’s also known for dabbling in witchcraft and this draws Sarah in because she’s been tangling with some secret extra sensory skills herself. Mrs. Hunter uses these powers to even the score with ANS, and Sarah becomes an unlucky pawn in a dirty game of witchcraft vs. bitchcraft.

My pet Mouse
The Initiation of Sarah has a lot going for it, and like its earlier theatrical counterpart, Carrie, it works because the downtrodden are likable and sympathetic. Tisa Farrow plays Mouse and she’s so sweet and demure and sad that you just want to take her home, wrap her in a blanket and watch Facts of Life with her. Hey, when the world never seems to be living up to you dreams…

Lenz was extremely well cast in the lead. Although it’s obvious the actress is completely gorgeous, she really embodies that shy, awkward thing that many real young women possess as they try to find their way in the cold, cruel world of college. She brings the PED girls together in a way no one had been able to, so you see there is a hidden strength that doesn’t rely on telekinesis, but her inability to keep her powers at bay make her that much more tragic.

Shelley eyes the scenery she is just about to chew!
The theme of longing and acceptance permeates many teen films, and there’s obviously a reason why we keep seeing it. The added mixture of mass slaughter is a little newer, but it only demonstrates the ugly, unharnessed power of repression. And for those of us who were always last picked for the teams during P.E., there is a bittersweet feeling of victory to be gained.

Sarah is one of the better remembered Made for TV movies of the 70s, and there is a reason why. It’s got a timeless story, the acting is tops (I love my Morgans!) and I have to say it’s aged rather well. Sure the plaid skirts might look dated, but the message of acceptance and the thrill of revenge never gets old. Maybe we should be worried about that…

The revenge will be oh-so-sweet
Read my my review of the 2006 remake at CampBlood!

Beg, Borrow or Steal (1973)

Network: ABC
Original Air Date: March 20, 1973

Mike Connors is Vic, a down on his luck paraplegic Vietnam veteran who hits hard times when he’s let go from a swanky security job at the local museum. He lives with Cliff (Michael Cole), who has no hands and Lester (Kent McCord), a blind man. Cliff uses mechanical hands, and with excellent dexterity I might add, but he weirds out his employers and has to jump from job to job. Only Lester has any kind of steady work, and that's a gig collecting parking money at the beach. Because Vic knows the museum and because he knows how a good security system is devised, he decides he’s going to steal some jewels from a new exhibit. He plots this caper with Cliff, and eventually (and begrudgingly), they bring Lester into their fold. The plan is definitely risky even if these guys weren’t dealing with handicaps, but they also know there’s not much ahead for them work wise. The trio had once owned a laundromat and this is their last chance to grab that dream again.

That's Ron Glass as The Heavy!
Beg, Borrow or Steal is an excellent ABC Movie of the Week that has everything from serious social commentary to a nail-biting bank heist! And they did it all in 74 minutes! The story immediately throws the viewer into the plight of the three men, yet they never make them seem pathetic. Even down on their luck, they are given a lot of dignity, brains and charisma. The most sympathy arises when Cliff is let go from his job. He’s a good worker, but once he sees “the look” in his boss' eyes, he knows he’s down for the count, and he’s resigned to it. There’s not much backstory given to the characters' time in Viet Nam, but there’s no doubt it was a horrific experience, and their survival instinct emerges in the form of an elaborate robbery!

The heist itself is the high point of the movie; it’s extremely suspenseful and seriously brilliant. While I was watching these men work their magic, I wondered how this TV movie would wrap up the story. I didn’t feel like they could make them criminals who skirt the repercussions for stealing, no matter how sympathetic the characters were. And indeed the filmmakers agreed. I thought the conclusion was probably the weakest part of the film, although I didn’t really mind the sweet and unrealistic ending. Those guys deserved a break!

Plot hatchin'!
David Lowell Rich, who had his hand in many made for TV movies (Crime Club, Satan's School for Girls), directed Beg, Borrow or Steal with a lot of heart, from a story by Paul Playdon and Grant Sims. With the minor quibble regarding the ending aside, this movie makes the characters sympathetic without pandering to their disabilities. They are also extremely likable and you’ll be totally rooting for them to get those jewels!

Amazons (1984)

Let’s face it, that Peter Scolari is cute as a button. He is! Amazons caught him somewhere between establishing himself as a great comedic actor on Bosom Buddies and finding Emmy accolades on Newhart (he was nominated three times!). Always a breath of fresh air, I think Peter is one of the greats… and awful nice to look at too!

See, he's even cute when he drives!
He has a short but fun part in Amazons. In fact, the role was small enough, I was sure it had come out before Bosom Buddies, but alas, this was a whole two years after the end of that short lived and incredibly awesome show. He plays Dr. Jerry Menzies in Amazons and finds himself “bosom buddies” (or so he hopes!) with the gorgeous new doctor named Sharon Fields (Madeline Stowe). She’s one of those nose-to-the-grindstone chicks (and says so herself!), with only the job on her mind. One of her first cases is a simple appendectomy but something goes horribly wrong and after a major freak out the patient (who just happens to be a bigwig senator) runs into an oncoming ambulance and goes splat.. Yikes! A gruff but hot detective is assigned to investigate. Lieutenant Tony Monaco (Jack Scalia) is obviously smitten with Sharon so he entertains these crazy notions she has that one of the female higher ups at the hospital, Dr. Diane Cosgrove (Jennifer Warren) has established something called Stallion Kill and is hell bent on getting rid of certain male big shots. And just who are all those six foot tall female employees who look like models and kick ass like Bruce Lee? Eventually Sharon and Tony find that there is a secret movement of Amazonian descendants who are trying to reclaim what they feel was stolen from them. They even have a school for Amazon in training tykes!

This is called ass kicking
Wow. They certainly don’t make them like this anymore. Amazons is told without one ounce of humor. That’s a bold decision, considering the material. This was Paul Michael Glaser’s first directing job (yup, Starsky made a movie! He’s actually a pretty successful director) and he employed the great Dean Cundey (Halloween, Roller Boogie, The Fog and oodles more) as the director of photography. The look of the film is fantastic. There are many beautiful, flowing and artistic shots and it pushes the film and helps keep it moving. I liked the way they chose to present this film because the women come off as sexy and cool and not overtly angry or annoying. Tamara Dobson from Cleopatra Jones plays one of the Amazons, and she steals every scene. If ever there was a woman perfect for the role of of an Amazon, it was Tamara. Also, Jennifer Warren’s character is thoughtful and caring; she adds a sympathetic element to the clandestine operation. She’s intent on taking over, but believes all women, not just the Amazons, should look out for each other. This creates quite a riff with the other girls when she tries to spare Sharon.

Making babies with Amazons is dangerous
Amazons is an odd film. I don’t think everyone would enjoy it because it is so openly serious. There’s no sense of irony here and it was obviously a labor of love for Glaser and Cundey. This is one of those movies that will probably find most of its audience with the already established group of TV movies fans (all four of us!), who appreciate the difficulty of making wild, over the top movies into something of mass appeal. I think this one falls a little short of the mass appeal, but remains charming all the same.

Quite possibly one of the greatest shots in a TVM

A Vacation In Hell (1979): The Images

If there was ever a director who could pull off A Vacation in Hell, it would be the great David Greene. Thank God they hired him! He was as equally comfortable making high end drama (Roots, Friendly Fire) as he was making good old popcorn flicks (Rehearsal for Murder, Take Your Best Shot). The esoteric Vacation In Hell, which I reviewed for Camp Blood is one of those movies where the cast had to be completely on it, or it just wasn't gong to work. The mixture of swingin' 70s, coming of age sexuality, vacation gone awry horror, jungle amok violence and hippy dippy empowerment is 100% surreal, and it's fantastic. You simply can't take your eyes off everything as it unfolds, and I double dog dare you to look away when the stunning Priscilla Barnes is on screen. Even in the presence of some of the most stunning women from the 70s - Andrea Marcovicci, Barbara Feldon and Maureen McCormick (in one of the strangest dance scenes ever)- Priscilla remains completely breathtaking. And she carries this movie as the dumb blonde who ain't as stupid as you think. There's also Michael Brandon as the feckless but likable lone guy in this trek to terror. Boy I bet he was in heaven when they were making this (and indeed he did live with Maureen McCormick for a time after this film)! Vacation is all about women doin' it for themselves, and the cast deliver it all with a straight face. Vacation is at once totally trashy and completely suspenseful. It's enthralling television and a must see!

A Vacation in Hell Image Gallery: