Deadly Messages (1985)

Note: I am taking a short break from Freddie Prinze Week to co-review this movie with my favorite guys at Kindertrauama! Since I'm still knee-deep in boxes at the new digs, Unkle Lancifer was kind enough to loan me the stills for this review. Thanks Unk! And please stop by and check out their review of Deadly Messages!


Network: ABC
Original Air Date: February 21st, 1985

Deadly Messages is an attractive looking film that is having an identity crisis. Unsure of whether it wants to venture completely into the supernatural, this thriller feels a bit uneven, but despite the disjointed tone of the story, it’s a great deal of fun and one of the best late entry made for TV horror films.

Beller behind bars? Only in my wildest Women in Prison fantasies!
Kathleen Beller is pretty Laura Daniels, a woman who holds temporary employment at a lush (and fabulously 80s) video dating service. Her live-in boyfriend, Michael (Michael Brandon) is a lawyer which explains why her apartment is so damn awesome. This, like, totally awesome girl named Cindy (Sherri Stoner) is staying with them, and man does she know how to crimp hair! Anyway, one night the couple goes out, leaving Cindy alone with Laura’s Ouija board, which leads to all kinds of mayhem. Upon returning home, Laura sees Cindy being attacked and possibly murdered, but by the time she is able to get the police, there is no trace of any problems. Granted, there’s no trace of Cindy either. Before long, Laura starts seeing Cindy’s assailant wherever she goes, but no one believes her. Can she figure out the mystery and save her own life before it’s too late?

Fah-reaky Wee-gee!
Deadly Messages riffs heavily on DePalma’s Body Double in the film’s two best scenes. The first is Cindy’s attack scene which might not have that phallic drill, but the bird’s eye view does definitely harken to my favorite DePalma film (it strongly recalls Barbeau’s death scene in Someone's Watching Me as well). The second scene is at the mall, and if you’ve seen Body Double, then you know what I’m talking about. Aside from that distinct imagery, Deadly Messages couldn’t be less like Body Double, but it does have that highly glossed sheen that many 80s thrillers had. There is no denying the decade this film was made in, even if the story feels more akin to the old school 70s TV movie.

He wears his sunglasses at night
This late entry thriller could easily be a theatrical. It’s got such a big, slick look to it, I was surprised to find out it was made for television when I first saw it eons ago on Encore. The leads are fantastic, but then again Beller and Brandon have yet to let me down. The only problem I have is getting the film from point A to B by dipping into a couple of sub-genres instead of just diving into one and going for it. However, Deadly Messages is entertaining and luxuriant; capturing a sleeker, more sophisticated version of the 80s, where crimped hair may reign supreme, but nary a scrunch sock or stone-washed jean will be found! I also adored Stoner’s performance as Cindy. She’s like PJ Soles on crack and helps open the film with a burst of energy. Deadly Messages does its best to maintain that level of kooky oomph and since it succeeds more than it fails, I give many points to this sly little flick for trying to add some vigor to the dying TVM genre.

Bay Coven (1987)

Network: NBC
Original Air Date: October 25th, 1987

Pamela Sue Martin gets the best guys.

It all started when she landed the role of Nancy Drew in the 70s. She became Parker Stevenson’s frustrating love interest and I think I hated her a little for it. How does one compete against that? Eventually I learned to let go and knew in my heart it was for the best. Parker was not destined to be mine. Then, just when I thought I'd grown up a bit, I see she’s attached to Tim Matheson in Bay Coven! Seriously, when will this madness end?!?

He's mine, Pamela. Do you hear me? Mine!
Pamela is tre chic in this movie too. She plays Linda, an ambitious executive type who lives in an ultra-fab apartment with her husband Jerry (Tim Matheson). They have very Green Acres like dreams – He wants fresh air, she wants Times Square (via Canada it looks like). At this super cool and smoky jazz club they meet Josh and Debbie (Jeff Conaway and Susan Ruttan) who tell them about Bay Cove, which is close enough to commute to the city, but country enough to make you wish you owned more overalls. Apparently there is this house for sale super cheap, so Linda and Jerry take a trip out to the little island. Things get a little creepy instantly with the strange lady who owns the place and will still be living on the property after they buy it. But hey, it’s Barbara Billingsley, so it must be OK, right? But as with any old-creepy-house-on-a-small-island movie, the couple move in and then start to discover the evil lurking underneath the idyllic locale.

You would have to be really gullible to not figure out what is going on. There are no twists, well, except for one startling and well filmed death scene, but it is still a pretty good little movie. Why? Because Pamela Sue Martin is awesome. Sure, it’s hard for me to admit that, after the whole Parker incident, but it’s true. I like that lady. She plays an interesting character here, falling smack dab between obnoxious but smart Nancy Drew and sleazy but sexy Fallon from Dynasty. She’s pretty rounded out here, maybe a little more akin to an adult version of her Nancy Drew counterpart.

Creepy Kids + Big Knives = Total Awesomeness!
The cast of familiar faces, including Matheson, Billingsley, a young Woody Harrelson, James Sikking and Inga Swenson (!), will probably make any child of the 80s a little happy. As I said there’s not so much in the way of shocks, but there is this comfortable feeling aided by the wonderful cast of television friendly faces. That, along with some nice, steady pacing from director Carl Shenkel (The Hitchhiker, Silence Like Glass) makes Bay Coven a pleasant surprise. I had been sitting on this movie for years now. I remember my husband giving me a copy and after all the ooohing and awwwing it somehow got left unwatched. Maybe because it’s so readily available. Bay Coven has enjoyed a release on vhs (under the title Eye of the Demon) and then on DVD as Bay Cove, and it’s also been streaming on Netflix and hell, it’s even on Hulu as well. I guess it became less desirable because I could see it anywhere. I like my hidden gems, although lately that Neflix has been making my mouth water. I’m really glad I was desperate to find something to watch while I worked out the other day, because I might have gone a few more years and missed this fun late-entry TV horror film. But now what will I workout to?

Terrified and fabulous!

Midnight Offerings (1981)

A couple of weeks ago, I got a comment from Sam of Hi-Gloss Productions asking about a movie he’d seen but wasn’t sure what the title was. Sam wrote, “One movie I saw in the 90's (though I have no idea what year it was filmed) was about two witches (one or both may have been teenagers) and the final showdown involved a nail gun an' that's all I got! Any ideas?! Have been wondering for a millennium and you could be my last hope.”

I took a shot that it was Midnight Offerings and lo and behold, I was correct. Finally I was right about something and it felt all good and stuff! Sam said he hoped for a review soon. And so here I am! This one is for you, Sam! And everyone should take a look at his site for Hi-Gloss, his company produces some really cool stuff!

Chic witchery

Network: ABC
Original Air Date: February 27th, 1981

Now this is a fun film! Midnight Offerings came out at the perfect time for my life. Watching the good witch and evil bitchy witch go toe to toe left an indelible mark on me in those wide eyed years.

Melissa Sue Anderson is friggin’ fantastic as evil witch Vivian. She rules the school and keeps her football playing stud of a boyfriend David (Patrick Cassidy of that luscious Cassidy clan) under her thumb mostly by killing anyone who tries to get in the way of his football career! Enter Mary Beth McDonough (the gorgeous Erin of The Waltons) as Robin Prentiss, a new girl with powers she has yet to understand. When she touches someone she can feel their pain or their power. David instantly takes a liking to her, much to Vivian’s chagrin and that’s when the proverbial shizz-nit hits the fan.

The Waltons vs. Little House on the Prairie? You got it!

This teacher is into the dirty stuff!
Midnight Offerings doesn’t get old. In fact, there are several films which feature women finding empowerment through witchcraft or supernatural means. Just on television alone, we’ve got The Spell (1977), A Stranger in Our House (aka Summer of Fear, 1978) and The Initiation of Sarah (1978, and remade in 2006). These movies embrace the idea of fitting in while finding something unique about oneself (also see my review of Nestor, the Long Eared Donkey for another comparison!). This is a common theme for young girls and certainly explains why The Craft (1996) is such a popular film - women and witchcraft mix well. Offerings is no exception and plays on the same ideas I mentioned above. It was also written by a successful female producer named Juanita Bartlett (Rockford Files, Greatest American Hero), which might explain how this movie tapped into all things mysterious and girly.

The windows to teen witchy-ness
Melissa Sue Anderson was a great choice to play Vivian. I am quite smitten with her and not just because of Offerings, she also won my heart in First Affair (1983), Dark Mansions (1986) and of course, Happy Birthday to Me (1981). She was equally at ease being a total bitch as she was when she played the wide eyed ingénue and I wish she was working more. Mary Beth McDonough has always been an uneven actress, and she starts off a bit stiff but really settles into the part of the good witch nicely. The scene where she and David go to a remote area to practice her untapped skills is quaint and sweet and a high point of the film. I actually think she really came into her own in Mortuary (1983 – oh, and check out the image gallery!), a movie I absolutely adore.

Melissa does a kick ass impression of the Scream mask
The rest of the cast is awesome, and the slew of familiar faces is mesmerizing. Marion Ross (Mrs. C!) is the psychic who helps Robin hone her talents and Gordon Jump (WKRP) and Cathryn Damon (SOAP) are excellent as Vivian’s parents. In fact, Cathryn’s part turns out to be quite important and plays a big part in the shocking climax. Even the late Jeff MacKay (Magnum P.I.) pops up in one excellent scene. This whole movie is like one big early 80s television flashback and I for one, just loved it.

My kingdom for a band-aid!

TVM Inspired: Attack of the Beast Creatures (1985)

I don’t mean to quote Blood Diner (yes, I do!), but Trilogy of Terror is one of those movies that sneaks up on you surreptitiously and bites you on the shorts. Guaranteed that if you saw this movie as a kid (as I did one fine Saturday afternoon), you remember every second of it. Well, maybe not every second of the first two in the infamous trilogy, but the third installment, simply title Amelia featuring a creepy little Zuni Fetish doll chasing Ms. Karen Black (creepy in her own right) around her horrendously wallpapered apartment was unforgettable. The end shot is the stuff nightmares are made of.












That little old Zuni doll sure did resonate with people and even inspired a sequel many years later (although the story took place on the very same night). The follow-up is essentially a remake and might have been a total loss if it weren’t for that dang doll. But a direct sequel isn’t the only inspiration that came out of that apartment. In 1985 a small regional filmmaker unleashed Attack of the Beast Creatures, which is a wonderful, mostly undiscovered, treasure trove of a film. I picked up my copy because I’d stumbled across an incredible review on Bleeding Skull and I just had to get a better look at those Zuni inspired beasties. I was not let down. Shot with a cast made up of what I assume were local theater actors, this movie is a period piece, features decent costumes, mixed but generally respectable acting and about 100 of those little dolls. In that respect, it actually one ups Trilogy (granted, the puppetry does leave a little something to be desired). It’s so much fun watching these little things attack… and attack… and attack. Why not take a look for yourself:




And they pray to their god!

Adorable!
As far as I know Beast Creatures was only ever released on VHS, but it’s not too hard to find and I got my copy off of Amazon. If you love small budget horror (and who doesn’t) and have always wanted to feast your eyes on a gaggle of imitation Zuni Fetish dolls, Beast Creatures is must for you!


Attack of the Beast Creatures Image Gallery:


































Gotta love that Zuni:





Note: While I was researching this post I came across this awesome review. Great minds think alike!

Mark of the Devil (1984)

Network: ITV
Original Air Date: September 5th, 1984
When I popped Mark of the Devil into my DVD player the other day I had no idea what I was getting into. My copy is called Fox Mystery Theater: Mark of the Devil, so I imagined it was a made for TV homage to the gooey cult classic of the same name starring Udo Kier. What I got was actually an episode of Hammer’s House of Mystery and Suspense, the last bastion of horror hounds' favorite British movie studio (the series was co-produced by 20th Century Fox, hence the Americanized moniker). There are thirteen episodes in this short lived UK series and Mark of the Devil ended up being my initiation into the show. I was then knocked over again when I saw it starred Dirk Benedict (the hottest Battlestar Galactica), was directed by Val Guest (Quatermass Xperiment, Toomorrow) and written by Brian Clemens, who penned every episode of the awesome 70s Brit classic Thriller. Wow, that’s kind of everything I ever wanted in a movie. But did I set my sights too far? Don’t you love suspense?


Dirk squared
Dirk Benedict is Frank Rowlett, a lowlife gambler who woos a rich and beautiful girl (Jenny Seagrove). He’s preparing to marry her and enter the world of the wealthy elite, but his gambling addiction keeps bringing him back to the underground casinos. Through some bad decision making, he ends up at a tattoo parlor trying to snake some dough and ends up killing the owner… but not before he’s stabbed once with a tattoo needle. Unfortunately, this tattoo artist is also a big voodoo freak and his needle essentially possesses Frank’s skin. At first it’s just a puncture wound, but the lesion soon becomes a tattoo that grows like wildfire across Frank’s body. This leads to even more poor choices as Frank desperately tries everything he can to rid himself of the curse (except turning himself in, of course).

Mark of the Devil is odd. I can’t imagine anyone in the US would ever have the cajones to produce such an obtuse movie. It’s simple, but wild in its ideas. Leave it up to Clemens to find a way to make it feel believable. Frank is definitely a loser, but his comeuppance feels a little unwarranted (or at least slightly over the top!), so there’s some feeling of sympathy for him. And of course, I’ve always found Dirk to be one of those great looking actors who actually possessed talent. I was so blown away by him in Sssssss and think he never really gets the notice he deserves (although he might now that he's playing Columbo!). He’s great here and the movie as a whole is a lot of crazy fun.


Yikes!
For those of you unfamiliar with the director, Val Guest, please try to find a copy of his movie Toomorrow, which got a small theatrical release in 1970, but has not seen the light of day since, except for a few revival screenings. It’s about rock band (led by Olivia Newton John) who are so good, aliens abduct them so they can save their species. No. Joke. And it’s incredible. I had the honor of seeing Guest speak and then later I got a chance to talk to him briefly on the phone. He was one incredible man, totally vital into his 90s. He died in 2006 at the age of 95. He’s another under the radar guy, and is well worth discovering. This episode of Hammer’s House of Mystery of Suspense is a great introduction.


Still smoking hot. How do you do it, Dirk?