Showing posts with label loincloths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loincloths. Show all posts

Monday, December 31, 2012

The Wolf-boy Subgenre on TV... It exists!











Stalk the Wild Child
Network: NBC
Original Air Date: November 3rd, 1976


Lucan Pilot
Network: ABC
Original Air Date: May 22nd, 1977


Is it a forgotten piece of television history that feral children were all the rage in the 1970s? The tele-film Stalk the Wild Child aired in 1976 and was followed by the short-lived series Lucan in 1977. Both featured boys who were raised alone in the wilds of the forests, with nothing but their wits and a few scary dogs to keep them company. While Stalk delves into the psychological underpinnings of this horrific situation, Lucan just sort of makes the kid grow up to be all cute and good-natured (when he isn’t kicking ass). OK, so both of them grew up to be cute. Cutie pie feral men. Wow. Now that’s a sub-genre.


There have been plenty of legends throughout the centuries, but Francois Truffaut’s film Wild Child may have been the biggest influence on Stalk the Wild Child. Ben and Joseph Bottoms play Cal, a kid who is somehow left to his own devices in the forest. Dr. Hazard (David Janssen), a behavioral psychologist “adopts” Cal and hires a beautiful speech therapist named Maggie (Trish Van Devere) to teach him how to speak. For the most part, it would seem Cal is in good hands… until he grows up. He attends the premiere of Dr. Hazard’s film, which posits Cal as gawky, scary and idiotic star. Cal feels completely exploited by the doctor and seeks solace with a con artist publisher who plans to manipulate Cal in a whole new way. This leads the wolf boy to question what it really means to be civilized.


Joseph Bottoms, who plays the older version of Cal, brings a sympathetic touch to the young boy who people can’t stop taking advantage of. The frustrating ending rests on Cal’s redemption instead of exposing the “civilized” adults as the culprits. They, in fact, remain in his life in a positive way. Will Cal ever learn?


Stalk the Wild Child is an awfully catchy title, and it was the third one producers came up with, opting out of using either Feral or Running Free (which was dumped because it sounded too much like Born Free), and the film was a runaway success upon it’s initial release, landing in the top spot of that week’s Neilsen’s with over 14 million viewers. Aside from the connection to Truffaut’s Wild Child, Stalk may have made a nod to the Indian Wolf Boy, Dina Sanichar, who lived in the 1800s. Like Cal, he was found by hunters and repositioned back into society. Unlike Cal, Dina never was able to speak. I know this tele-film skates on the thin ice of TV movie reality, but I prefer the idealistic end in comparison. Hey, that’s how I roll.


Lucan debuted less than a year later in 1977. It wasn’t as interested in probing the psyche of a young boy reared by a pack of wolves, concentrating instead on Lucan’s kindly disposition and ability to make his eyes glow before he kicks ass. Lucan is far more reminiscent of The Incredible Hulk, as he goes in search for his birth parents. What he ends up finding instead are some mixed up people that he can help through his folksy ways. Or something like that.


Initially, a kindly college professor, who turns out for once to actually be kindly, adopts Lucan. As a young adult, the wolf-boy attends the college his father works at. The school is hesitant to let Lucan continue his education there, despite the fact that he had developed into smart young man and is a decent case study who brings some notoriety to the college. One academic monkey even insinuates that Lucan might use his beastly powers to overcome some of the co-eds so he can make little feral babies. Lucan loses his protection when a car hits his adopted father, and he escapes his life as an experiment and hits the road, looking for work, his family and insights into the world. He works in opposition to Cal in the respect that Lucan is allowed to tap into his primordial resources in an effort to teach lessons to the various people he meets. It’s a far sweeter tale and the pilot features the irrepressible Stockard Channing as Lucan’s first friend.


The most common aspect that both Lucan and Stalk share, aside from being feral children, is that each adopted parent films the rearing of their children. In Stalk, it is done to further the career of the so-called kindly doctor, whereas we see the father in Lucan act like a father. In fact, when Lucan watches the movie, he is not ashamed. Poor Cal. That kid cannot catch a break! Otherwise, these movies are very different, with Lucan taking on a much lighter tone. Honestly, I am grateful for that! However, in both films, viewers only have to endure and accept the very basic of scenarios, as both of these browbeaten, weatherworn kids go from dirty little dog-boys to hunky geniuses! This, my friends, is why I love TV.




When ratings meant something!

(Lucan ad courtesy of The Classic TV Archive)

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Amazons (1984)



Let’s face it, that Peter Scolari is cute as a button. He is! Amazons caught him somewhere between establishing himself as a great comedic actor on Bosom Buddies and finding Emmy accolades on Newhart (he was nominated three times!). Always a breath of fresh air, I think Peter is one of the greats… and awful nice to look at too!

See, he's even cute when he drives!

He has a short but fun part in Amazons. In fact, the role was small enough, I was sure it had come out before Bosom Buddies, but alas, this was a whole two years after the end of that short lived and incredibly awesome show. He plays Dr. Jerry Menzies in Amazons and finds himself “bosom buddies” (or so he hopes!) with the gorgeous new doctor named Sharon Fields (Madeline Stowe). She’s one of those nose-to-the-grindstone chicks (and says so herself!), with only the job on her mind. One of her first cases is a simple appendectomy but something goes horribly wrong and after a major freak out the patient (who just happens to be a bigwig senator) runs into an oncoming ambulance and goes splat.. Yikes! A gruff but hot detective is assigned to investigate. Lieutenant Tony Monaco (Jack Scalia) is obviously smitten with Sharon so he entertains these crazy notions she has that one of the female higher ups at the hospital, Dr. Diane Cosgrove (Jennifer Warren) has established something called Stallion Kill and is hell bent on getting rid of certain male big shots. And just who are all those six foot tall female employees who look like models and kick ass like Bruce Lee? Eventually Sharon and Tony find that there is a secret movement of Amazonian descendants who are trying to reclaim what they feel was stolen from them. They even have a school for Amazon in training tykes!

This is called ass kicking

Wow. They certainly don’t make them like this anymore. Amazons is told without one ounce of humor. That’s a bold decision, considering the material. This was Paul Michael Glaser’s first directing job (yup, Starsky made a movie! He’s actually a pretty successful director) and he employed the great Dean Cundey (Halloween, Roller Boogie, The Fog and oodles more) as the director of photography. The look of the film is fantastic. There are many beautiful, flowing and artistic shots and it pushes the film and helps keep it moving. I liked the way they chose to present this film because the women come off as sexy and cool and not overtly angry or annoying. Tamara Dobson from Cleopatra Jones plays one of the Amazons, and she steals every scene. If ever there was a woman perfect for the role of of an Amazon, it was Tamara. Also, Jennifer Warren’s character is thoughtful and caring; she adds a sympathetic element to the clandestine operation. She’s intent on taking over, but believes all women, not just the Amazons, should look out for each other. This creates quite a riff with the other girls when she tries to spare Sharon.

Making babies with Amazons is dangerous

Amazons is an odd film. I don’t think everyone would enjoy it because it is so openly serious. There’s no sense of irony here and it was obviously a labor of love for Glaser and Cundey. This is one of those movies that will probably find most of its audience with the already established group of TV movies fans (all four of us!), who appreciate the difficulty of making wild, over the top movies into something of mass appeal. I think this one falls a little short of the mass appeal, but remains charming all the same.

Quite possibly one of the greatest shots in a TVM


Friday, April 30, 2010

A Vacation In Hell (1979): The Images


If there was ever a director who could pull off A Vacation in Hell, it would be the great David Greene. Thank God they hired him! He was as equally comfortable making high end drama (Roots, Friendly Fire) as he was making good old popcorn flicks (Rehearsal for Murder, Take Your Best Shot). The esoteric Vacation In Hell, which I reviewed for Camp Blood is one of those movies where the cast had to be completely on it, or it just wasn't gong to work. The mixture of swingin' 70s, coming of age sexuality, vacation gone awry horror, jungle amok violence and hippy dippy empowerment is 100% surreal, and it's fantastic. You simply can't take your eyes off everything as it unfolds, and I double dog dare you to look away when the stunning Priscilla Barnes is on screen. Even in the presence of some of the most stunning women from the 70s - Andrea Marcovicci, Barbara Feldon and Maureen McCormick (in one of the strangest dance scenes ever)- Priscilla remains completely breathtaking. And she carries this movie as the dumb blonde who ain't as stupid as you think. There's also Michael Brandon as the feckless but likable lone guy in this trek to terror. Boy I bet he was in heaven when they were making this (and indeed he did live with Maureen McCormick for a time after this film)! Vacation is all about women doin' it for themselves, and the cast deliver it all with a straight face. Vacation is at once totally trashy and completely suspenseful. It's enthralling television and a must see!

A Vacation in Hell Image Gallery:


















































































Thursday, July 2, 2009

Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women (1979)



Network: CBS
Original Air Date: December 1st, 1979

Why not end the 70s with a bang? The greatest decade in made for television movies really started pushing the envelope by this point, providing audiences with slightly more tawdry affairs. Besides Island, 1979 also saw the release of Sooner or Later, which featured a naughty love tryst between a 13 year old girl and a 17 year old rocker dude, and the awesome thriller A Vacation in Hell, which featured too much stuff to go into here! So it seems apt that as the world grooved into the neon drenched, sex filled 80s, that the 70s ended in high, sexy fashion.

You don't even want to know what they've handed her!

Island begins with some stock war footage interspersed with a bunch of little girls and some nuns boarding a plane. Jump ahead about 25 years later to another plane. This time among the passengers is Clint Walker (he of the expanded chests), Peter Lawford and Steven Keats - en route to the “main land.” Walker has done something devious or illegal, but it’s never really made quite clear and Lawford is his ex-employer, and owner of a huge conglomerate, of which we have no idea what it is. The rest of the group include Lawford’s guard (the great Guich Koock from Carter Country!), a guy who is going blind (but we’re not sure why) and an alcoholic pilot. After an electrical storm, all of the equipment dies and the pilot loses his destination - Oh yeah, and maybe he’s drunk. He safely lands the plane near a beautiful uncharted island and much to the surprise and joy of the men, they are not alone. This island is populated with several hot chicks who have the mental capacity of five year olds. Seriously, what more could you want? Unfortunately, some native type men, affectionately referred to as “head choppers” by the idiot-woman-child-supermodels, often stop by for a bit of raping and pillaging. Obviously leery of any males, can they trust the new civilized guys to rid them of the nasty jungle men, or will they have to lay stake to their land by killing them?


Flower gets down to business

Only in the 70s, my friend. Only in the 70s. Leave it up to the most audacious decade in film to attempt to bring true exploitation to the small screen. Co-written by Gary Sherman and Sandor Stern (who was an extremely prolific force in made for television films of that era) & directed by the equally awesome Joseph Pevney (who directed the famous Star Trek episode The Trouble with Tribbles) and featuring many awesome small screen faces (including Jayne Kennedy as a character named Chocolate!), Island has a lot going for it. It gets off to slow and rocky start (literally!), but kicks into full gear before the first half plays out, and becomes an interesting little film. Riding high on gorgeous women in loincloths, there is still some harrowing stuff, like the reveal of how the girls got to the island and how their leader Lizbeth (Jamie Lyn Bauer) comes into power. And there’s a cool off-screen decapitation for you horror nerds.


Snow loves baseball!

Clint Walker doesn’t have much to do or say about this island of lovely ladies, which is a shame. But the great Peter Lawford and the always likeable Steven Keats get to spend the most time with the girls. True to made for TV form, the exploitation ends at bikinis. Maybe it’s because I’m getting a little older, but I liked the simplicity of their situation and I also liked that the women weren’t completely objectified. The romance between Keats and Kathryn Davis (who is a blonde named Snow! I love this stuff!) is really sweet. Some might call it predictable but I call it charming.