Talking TV at the Miskatonic Institute of Horror Studies: The Films

For those of you interested in what I discussed whilst I was in London last week attempting to sound scholarly (see how I used "whilst"... I've become so British!), or if you came and were interested in checking out some of the titles I mentioned, here is a list of what I discussed, or screened, along with the topic I placed them under (some titles linked to my reviews or episodes of podcasts where we featured that title):

Topic: TV Movies as an Event

Opening Bumper Reel:
Deliver Us From Evil
KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park
Trackdown: Finding the Goodbar Killer
Midnight Hour

Topic: An Overview of the History of the TV Movie
Maybe I’ll Come Home in the Spring
Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver
See How they Run
Seven in Darkness

Topic: Popularity of the TV Movie (Nielsens)
Dr. Cook's Garden
Crowhaven Farm
The Girl Most Likely To...
Cry in the Wilderness

Topic: Important Filmmakers:
Dan Curtis
Richard Matheson
John Llewellyn Moxey
Aaron Spelling

Movies discussed (very briefly):
Duel
Satan’s School for Girls
Trilogy of Terror
The Night Stalker

Topic: Marketing the Horror Telefilm
Savages
Look What Happened to Rosemary’s Baby

Promo clip reel:
Born Innocent
Deadly Lessons
The Intruder Within
Someone’s Watching Me!
Invitation to Hell
Bad Seed
Look What Happened to Rosemary’s Baby

TV Guide Section:
The Babysitter
Fantasies
Dying Room Only
This House Possessed
Bridge Across Time (aka Terror at London Bridge)
Midnight Hour
No Place to Hide
Are You in the House Alone?

Topic: So Many Subgenres!
Invitation to Hell (Satanic Panic)
Legend of Lizzie Borden (True Crime)
The Stranger Within (Sci-Fi)
Five Desperate Women (proto-slasher)
Ants! (Nature Runs Amok)
Bad Ronald (Evil Kids)
Mazes and Monsters (Propaganda)
Killjoy (Thriller)

Topic: Popular Subgenre - Supernatural
Subtopic: The Haunted House/Ghost Story Telefilm, and the Intimacy of Grief:
Fear No Evil
Daughter of the Mind
The House that Would Not Die
Don’t Go to Sleep
This House Possessed
She Waits
(*all of the above had companion clips, with the exception of The House that Wouldn't Die)

 
Subtopic: The Paranormal TVM and Second Wave Feminism
The Spell
Midnight Offerings (included clip)
Initiation of Sarah
Night Cries

Subtopic: Tiny Monsters and the Domestic Space

Tiny Monster reel:
Dead of Night segment: Bobby
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark
Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell
The Intruder Within
Trilogy of Terror

A clip reel I didn't get to show: Big Monsters!

Conclusion: The TV Horror Film from 1985 to Present:
Kicks (revamp of ABC Movie of the Week)
Bad Seed (revamp of ABC Movie of the Week)
The Haunting of Sarah Hardy (USA Original)
Murder by Night (USA Original)
Tainted Blood (USA Original)
The Haunted (included clip)
Grave Secrets: The Legacy of Hilltop Drive
Mark of the Devil (re-purposed Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense)
Spring Break Shark Attack (revival of the horror movie of the week)
Locusts (revivial of the horror movie of the week)
Rosemary's Baby miniseries remake (the telefilm as an "event" continues)

The End!

I'd like to thank Kier-La Janisse and Jennifer Wallis, as well as my publisher, David Kerekes of Headpress, and the Miskatonic Institute of Horror Studies for hosting such an incredible event (the folks at the Horse Hospital were pretty great too). We almost sold out of the book I edited, Are You in the House Alone? A TV Movie Compendium: 1964-1999 (which is now available through Amazon), and I've had some wonderful feedback. Also, two new real life friends, Tom Elliot from The Strange and Deadly Show and Chris Brown from The Last Horror Podcast (along with his gorgeous wife) made the trek from Liverpool to ensure the whole thing was even more memorable. I am so grateful for the last few months, and I hope you continue to join me on this little small screen adventure!

The Classic Film and TV Cafe Present a TV Movie Blogathon: Strange Homecoming (1974)

Welcome to a fantastic TV Movie Blogathon, hosted by the fine folks at The Classic Film and TV Cafe! You can check out all of the entries here. And, keep the TV movie love alive, y'all (and enjoy!)!

Network: NBC
Original airdate: October 29th, 1974

A mainstay of the 1970s TV movie, Robert Culp was like a really aggressive and somewhat intimidating version of the Everyman. He had a quality that made him feel forceful, while also giving off a vibe that you could get a beer with him after work. It was this contradiction, perhaps, that made him such an intriguing figure during the heyday of the Movie of the Week. He was already a well known face on the small screen having appeared in Trackdown (1957-1959), and the enduring I, Spy from 1965-1968. Spy was a somewhat gritty series (gritty by the standards of the many James Bond riffs that appeared on TV during this era) and it was also unbelievably charming, and it shot handsome Culp to stardom. Afterwards, he was fixture on the telefilm circuit, and turned in some notable cult favorites, including what is arguably his most fondly remembered telefilm, A Cold Night’s Death (aka The Chill Factor, 1973), as well as the outrageously fantastic Outrage (also 1973), and the groovy Spectre (1977). He was also in a few questionable, but arguably entertaining TVMs, including Houston, We’ve Got a Problem (1974), and Flood 1977). And, somewhere in the middle of that spectrum were some really good films that fell by the wayside, including the Levinson and Link drama Cry for Help (1975), and the odd and suspenseful Strange Homecoming, which gave Culp a chance to really tap into his darker side, while still maintaining that air of likability that made us love him.

Culp is Jack, a globetrotting jewelry thief who finds himself on the run after a botched robbery ends in the death of a wealthy socialite. Jack heads back to his small hometown, where’s he’s seen as a successful and sophisticated businessman. He ends up staying with his brother, Bill who is now the local sheriff, and married to Elaine (the incredibly underrated Barbara Anderson), and their two kids (one of whom is a very young Leif Garrett!). He tries to live his life as the much adored brother/uncle who never visits enough, but cracks in the exterior give way almost immediately, yet seem so insignificant that his family just looks the other way. But Jack can’t seem to stay away from committing more illegal, or at least questionable, acts, and it doesn’t take too long for Bill to put the pieces together.

Originally titled Everybody Loves Uncle Jack, Strange Homecoming in an absorbing thriller, but more so, it’s a dark character study of a man who may not be the clinical definition of a sociopath, but whose lack of remorse and sense of responsibility really play on the fears that we all have a dark side. Jack is layered and can be seen as both good and bad, and that’s what makes him scary. You want to love him the way his family does, but as we see from the viewer’s perspective, murder is just another bump in the road for good ol’ Jack, and he has no intentions of ever stopping his burglary operation.

While Glen Campbell was a fixture on the small screen during this era (and beyond), this was his one and only television film. Campbell is obviously better known as a musician, but he puts in an extremely measured and under the radar performance as Bill, the guy who loves his brother, but has to come to terms with the crimes he’s committed. It’s a pity that his filmography as an actor wasn’t longer. What could have easily been a buffoon-ish small town sheriff stereotype is nuanced to great effect by Campbell, and the wonderfully astute writing from the team comprised of Eric Bercovici and Jerrold L. Ludwig, who worked together on everything from Hawaii 5-O to Three the Hard Way! The duo wrote several television films, including The Deadly Hunt (1971) and Log of the Black Pearl (1975), and show an incredible knack for generating suspense in both the quiet and more action packed moments.

But let’s face it, sure, everyone is fantastic, but this is Culp’s baby. He is at once both terrifying and attractive, and like all good Culp performances (which is to say, everything he’s ever done), when the ball is in his corner, expect the unexpected. And, honestly, that’s what’s so great about this little thriller. It is quietly disarming, and unsettling.

Kevin Thomas of the LA Times called Strange Homecoming, “a first rate suspense thriller in the Alfred Hitchcock tradition.” NBC was certainly banking on its success, as they put it into their new telefilm program slot that was called the NBC World Premiere Movie. Linda Blair and the notorious Born Innocent had been the first telefilm to play under this umbrella, airing approximately one month earlier, and the network continued to put out some interesting, somewhat high concept heavy hitters for this new season, including Strange and Deadly Occurrence, Where Have all the People Gone, and The Dream Makers.

Strange Homecoming ran against the ABC’s Movie of the Week’s remake of The Mark of Zorro, starring Ricardo Montalban and Frank Langella. What a night for TV! The NBC World Premiere Movie slightly outranked the popular but waning ABC Tuesday Movie of the Week (both aired on the same night), coming in at number 30 by mid-season, whereas the ABC MOW had dropped to 32, and was on its way to cancellation at the end of the 1974-75 season (sad face). Still, while landing in the 30s for the year may seem mid-range, telefilms continued to air several nights a week, and there was still oodles of original and intriguing content under production. Perhaps it’s this middling, near the end-of-an-era stage that the TVM found itself in 1974 that Strange Homecoming has fallen a bit by the wayside, but it’s due for rediscovery. It’s an absolutely magnificent example of the type of undervalued character driven suspense that was landing in our living rooms almost every night. And viva la Culp, y'all!

Promotional still of Culp and Campbell in Strange Homecoming

Must See Streaming Movie of the Week: Mind Over Murder (1979)

Network: CBS
Original Airdate: October 23rd, 1979 

In 1979, the Golden Age of made for television horror movies was arguably in the rearview mirror, but that’s not to say that good genre TVMs weren’t on the horizon. We still had a few years to go until one of the ultimate small screen chillers, Don’t Go to Sleep (1982) traumatized anyone with a pizza cutter. And somewhere in between the classic ABC Movie of the Week and the  unexpected post-seventies classics like Sleep were some solid genre entries, many of which seemed to have fallen off the radar. Of course, incredible telefilms such as Salem’s Lot (1979), and 1981’s Dark Night of the Scarecrow are bona fide classics, but there’s plenty of little films that aired during this declining era that seem all but forgotten. Good but not great films like Night Cries (1978) and The Babysitter (1980) were finding their way to the networks, and Mind Over Murder actually falls somewhere closer to the greats, despite its relatively obscure status.

Deborah Raffin is Suzy, a model, dancer and a somewhat popular commercial actress known for her dancing hamburger spots! She’s also a touch psychic and things go all weird when she meets a friend for a drink and finds the world going hazy, eventually coming to a complete stop… except for one menacing figure who eyes her creepily from a bar stool. Mostly shrugging off the weirdness, Suzy has another “vision,” later that same night, this time while watching an egg slowly roll out of the fridge, smashing on the kitchen floor. The voices and rumbling sounds accompanying the cracking egg eventually leads her to believe she predicted the terrible plane crash that becomes front page news on the next day’s morning paper.

Her arguably adorable boyfriend (and live in mate) Jason (Bruce Davison) becomes far less loveable when he refuses to put any weight into Suzy’s creepy phantasms, even after she’s able to prove that the voices she heard during the infamous egg incident belong to the doomed crew in the cockpit. Luckily, she’s met Ben (David Ackroyd), a handsome flight investigator who sends her to Dr. Povey (Christopher Cary). His psychic research suggests that Suzy is somehow going to make a physical connection with whoever sabotaged the plane… and maybe he’s creepy and bald, just like the guy Suzy saw at the bar. What she doesn’t know is that the killer is as in tune to her as she is to him, and he’s getting closer to her each day.

Shot under the title Are You Alone Tonight, Mind Over Murder is weird. The psychic visions are off-putting and eerie, and Andrew Prine as the above referenced crazy guy is freaking terrifying. When a very sweaty and crazy-eyed Prine, listed in the credits as the “Bald Man” kidnaps Suzy and attempts to entice her by flexing his wiry and lean muscles (no joke), it’s strangely effective in its gross factor (and I never thought I find Mr. Prine icky). In fact, the kidnap scenes make up most of the last quarter of the film, and there are near rapes, punchings and other uncomfortable moments that could have very well derailed an effective thriller but work because the talented actors put you in a terrifying world without resorting to exploitation tactics.

Yes, as this is a TV movie, it is (thankfully) quite restrained, although it remains gripping throughout. The overall film is suspenseful and unsettling and written in a way that makes Suzy incredibly likeable and reasonable despite her outrageous situation. The late Raffin was always a strong leading lady, and she brings just as much sympathy to her character here as she did in Nightmare in Badham County, both of which feature the actress in really dark and seemingly impossible situations.

Ackroyd is fantastic as well, and makes a great love interest for Raffin. Their blossoming romance doesn’t deter from the psychic focus of the film, but it provides a nice break between all the bleak and peculiar. Also, Robert Englund shows up as Ackroyd’s workmate, making me wonder if The Bald Man vs. Freddy Kruger could ever be a thing. Ah, to dream!

Director Ivan Nagy also made the excellent but also difficult to watch A Gun in the House (1981), and the decent thriller Jane Doe (1983) before he moved into adult films with titles such as Trailer Trash Teri and Izzy Sleeze’s Casting Couch Cuties. Oh my! He was also associated with Heidi Fleiss and served time for bookmaking. His infamy might outlive his small screen merits, but he did turn in some solid little TVMs in his day. Mind Over Murder is one such film.

Mind Over Murder is currently streaming on Amazon Instant Video. Watch it!!! 

Visions... (1972)

Network: CBS
Original Airdate: October 10, 1972

On the surface it would seem Professor Mark Lowell (Monte Markham) has an enviable life. He’s a well to do academic with a gorgeous and doting girlfriend named Susan (Barbara Anderson). Unfortunately, he’s also haunted by disturbing psychic visions that he cannot control. Things take a turn for the worse when he unwittingly taps into a mad bomber who is terrorizing Denver. Mark goes to the police with his visions and concerns, only to find he’s been named Suspect No. 1. The skeptical Lt. Phil Keegan (Telly Savalas) is certain Mark is toying with authorities while he lays giant bomb devices throughout the city. But, the story takes an interesting twist when Mark is cleared early on, and begins collaborating with Keegan in an effort to stop a reign of terror.

Shot on location in Denver, Colorado, and using many recognizable locales as potential bombing sites, Visions is a stylish and suspenseful television movie. Directed by Lee H. Katzin (The Voyage of the Yes, and the theatrical What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice), this TV movie is refreshing because it strategically sets up a fairly standard thriller, and then twists it around early on when Mark is cleared of the crimes. Aside from it decidedly trying to move away from what outwardly looks like a customary police procedural where the cops are looking in the wrong place, it also allows Savalas a chance to show a little range as a hard-boiled cop who becomes sympathetic to Mark’s plight.

Strangely, while I was watching Visions, the telefilm Beg, Borrow or Steal kept popping up in my head. But it was really not so strangely, it turns out, because both films were written by Paul Playdon, who has a real knack for ramping up these little films until they reach an almost nail biting apex.

The always-reliable Markham is very good, although he admitted to struggling a bit with the role, stating, “I’m trying to show someone actually undergoing a frightening psychic experience. I don’t want to overdo it but I want to communicate a measure of a man’s terror… One part of you is always waiting for the unknown terror… You have this powerful contrast of police frantically trying to avert a disaster on the basis of wispy clues from a guy they’re not sure is all there himself.”

While the reason for the Mark’s connection to the bomber is never made clear, there are similarities between the characters. Markham presents Mark as an even-keel but troubled character. His visions are mostly out of his control, and he hides his extrasensory perceptions from his girlfriend. But he’s also compassionate, and perhaps that’s why he’s able to tap into the madman’s mind, because he too is struggling with a pain he’s let fester inside of his gut.

Although Visions was shot before Savalas would make his debut as Kojak in 1973, the actor was quite busy shooting films in Europe, and landed in Denver, during a whirlwind era of work. He had just completed Reason to Live, Reason to Die and then headed back to Rome after shooting Visions to begin work on The Devil is Taking Away the Dead (which is presumably the working title for Lisa and the Devil). He doesn’t show one ounce of fatigue, giving audiences a good glimpse at what the charismatic actor was going to do with the soon-to-be-legendary Kojak. Markham would also take on a new series in 1973, when he was cast as the New Perry Mason. Unfortunately, it did not last long, and was cancelled in 1974 (Confession: I thought it was a good show, but I did miss Mr. Burr immensely).

Visions ran against another really good small screen thriller, Night of Terror, starring Donna Mills and Martin Balsam, as well as a run of a 1965 theatrical film with Sean Connery titled The Hill. What to choose, what to choose?

Visions was released on DVD as Visions of Death.

Nature's Fury Blogathon: Ants (aka It Happened at Lakewood Manor, 1977)

Network: ABC 
Original Airdate: December 2nd, 1977 

Before I start any review, I always conduct cursory research on my chosen film and hope for the best. Some of the most famous TV movies have little to no information, and sometimes the most obscure movies pull up all kinds of stuff (Dude, I can read all about Sorority Kill even if I can’t watch it). Associated Press was a fickle beast is all I will say about it. And then, I’m just Googling-along all innocent-like for info on Ants, and one of the first returns is SUZANNE SOMERS BREASTS ANTS! Well, that just about sums up what is arguably the most iconic scene in Ants (aka It Happened at Lakewood Manor). But let’s be honest, Ants ain’t exactly rife with “iconic” images; however, it is certainly well regarded, and well remembered by those who caught it when they were young enough to accept some of the more ludicrous moments. Upon a recent rewatch of Ants for this review, I found that the film is even more delightful than I remembered. Crazy and inconceivable for sure, but also a bit darker in tone than I was expecting and a little icky too.

The plot is as straightforward as they come: When a construction site accidentally unearths a swarm of poisonous ants during a dig, nearby Lakewood Manor is overrun by the little guys. Chaos ensues.

Well, OK, so there’s a lot of melodrama in there too. This is what we call character development, and some of it is clunky and awkward, especially anything with Ethel, played by the great Myrna Loy. Now, I’ve seen Myrna in a few TV movies and she’s generally a treat (Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate and The Elevator are two great examples), but it’s obvious that she was not into the material. However, the main stars Lynda Day George and Robert Foxworth make the most of what’s been given to them, and I actually felt invested in watching them crawl out of that hotel shaped anthill with all their lovely bits intact.

Most of the subplots are romance driven, which is always a plus for my starry-eyed inclinations. For example, Valerie (George) and Mike (Foxworth... or Foxy-worth as I have been known to call him), who make one of the most gorgeous made up couples ever, are interested in getting Valerie’s mom, Ethel to sell Lakewood Manor so they can move to San Francisco and live happily ever after... and send her mom packing to Florida. There’s also a pretty and hippie-ish drifter named Linda (Karen Lamm) who is tired of life on the road and hooks up with OMG gorgeous Richard (Barry Van Dyke), and love instantly blossoms. Heck, even the construction inspector (Anita Gillette) seems to have a bit of chemistry with the ant expert (Bruce French)!

And, if it isn’t about falling in love, it’s about the end of love, such as the story with Marjorie (Barbara Brownell) who is staying at the Manor with her son, Tommy (the forever adorable Moosie Drier) as she recovers from a divorce. And, of course no epic TV movie about insect invasions is complete without a little sinful love, and we get that with Miss Antsonbreasts herself, Gloria (Somers) and the evil Tony (Gerald Gordon) who is obviously lecherous and easily tagged as the guy who’s going to mess everything up. He does it in a spectacular fashion though, so all is forgiven. See, TV movies have never been about subtlety, which works in the favor of this compact, and economical little disaster/insect amok flick.

But, despite all of the romantic shenanigans, audiences really showed for the creepy-crawly treachery, and it is done very well. While I miss the Empire of the Ants ant-cam, there’s plenty of up close vermin shots, and lots of brave actors let those buggers crawl all over them (the above referenced Somers to name but one). And no one is safe from potential victimization. There’s a great scene with Tommy frantically jumping into a pool even though he can’t swim because he’s covered in coffee grounds… er, I mean... ants. Yikes.

There is also a fantastic firetruck ladder stunt, which leads to an OK helicopter stunt that ends with a horde obnoxious stunt onlookers finding themselves in the line of fire. At this point, I was definitely rooting for the ants.

The ant expert gives us the lowdown on why the ants are out for blood: buried for years, these insects have sucked up all of the toxins we humans have tried to entomb and hide away within the earth. Yes, humans are pretty much to blame for everything, so I’ll buy it. But, then we are told these ants, which have already killed at least two people and injured a few more, aren’t aggressive if you are just real still. So, then we get a shot of three actors sitting motionless with little tubes (made out of 1970s wallpaper!) in their mouths so they can breathe. I remember when I first saw this as an adult and I wondered if it was really so hard to step on them and just leave? But, ludicrous is part and parcel for our little insect amok flicks, and I’ve learned to take my ant havoc with a grain of salt. Wait, doesn’t salt kill ants? Hmmm, maybe they could have done that?

In the confident hands of journeyman TV director Robert Scheerer (Changing Scene, Poor Devil and tons of episodic fare), and with a script by TV movie veteran Guerdon Trueblood (The Love War, Sole Survivor, and Ants' companion Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo), and thanks to the actors who wanted to be there (and also to Myrna for just showing up cuz I still love her so), Ants is a good reminder that even if a telefilm doesn’t get under your skin (ha!) television factory filmmaking was often much better than it should have been.

This review is part of Cinematic Catharsis's excellent Nature's Fury Blogathon! Check out more of the reviews here and here. 

TV Movie Marathoning!

Oh, the glamour! 

I made it through another semester, and to celebrate, I watched a gaggle of TVMs! I thought it would be fun to jot down some brief thoughts on each film, making it a one-woman-blogathon!

Eyes of a Stranger 
Network: NBC
Original Airdate: December 7th, 1992

First up was this early 90s curio starring the babe-a-licious Parker Stevenson and the gorgeous Emma Samms as an upper class couple who run afoul of a two-bit hoodlum (Michael Easton), and his lovely professor/girlfriend (Joan Chen, working some nifty silver flats in the last scene). The couple's lives collide during a rainstorm, and all paths lead to accidental murder, badly thought out cover-ups, some not bad small screen sex scenes and exploding boats.

Written and directed by Richard Friedman, the mastermind behind the goofy but lovable Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge, Stranger is a bit of a convoluted mess. The worst issue was the timeline. For example, Samms finds a videotape on a boat, and after some major mayhem, the boat is burnt to a crisp, and then at least two days pass before the tape comes into question again. Samms tells someone she found the tape yesterday, which would have been impossible.

It’s also ridiculously predictable, but watchable because of the cast, and the overall confident and slick look of the film. I wouldn’t be surprised if a sexier version of this movie exists, but was edited for television. It has all the markings of those early 90s erotic thrillers that I enjoy so much. Interesting then, that it was produced by Doris Keating, whose father directed such films as The Diary of Knockers McCalla and Fanny Hill Meets Dr. Erotico. I don’t necessarily recommend this to anyone except the Samms or Stevenson completest. Since I fall into the latter, I can’t really complain. Stevenson takes off his shirt just enough to keep me interested! Yes, I'm superficial, and easy to please.

Valentine Magic on Love Island 
Network: NBC 
Original Airdate: February 15, 1980

As if Supertrain wasn’t enough of a disaster for NBC, the execs tried to put a spin on Love Boat and Fantasy Island yet again in this choppy, and chaotic romantic comedy that is somewhat watchable and sometimes fun, but not nearly as great as the similar Three on Date.

Eight singles visit Love Island in the hopes of becoming four couples, and… hmmm… if I do my math correctly, yeah, I think we do end up with four couples. I guess that’s a testament to how haphazard the whole thing is, that I had go back through my mind to remember what happened (and the movie just ended 10 minutes ago). Still, gotta love (even if just a little) anything that stars Bill Daily, Lisa Hartman, Dominique Dunne, Christopher Knight, Janis Page, Adrienne Barbeau and Dody Goodman, right? And that’s just part of the game cast, who make the most of the crap material they were handed. (Random trivia: This was the second time Knight and Dunne appeared in a TVM together. The other telefilm was 1979's Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker)

Paige is the Mr. Roarke who mixes up her “white” magic in the hopes of helping people reach complete coupledom (or consciously couple as the young kids might say). Of course, there has to be a little mismatching and mischief first, where little to no hilarity ensues, but there’s a pretty cool costume party. Unfortunately, this Dick Clark production does not have a good beat and I had a hard time dancing to it (see what I did there). But, like the small screen sucker I am, it was good to finally see it.

Sorry, Wrong Number 
Network: USA
Original Airdate: October 11, 1989

This movie has been on my “To Watch” list for what seems like forever. A TVM based on a theatrical film, which was based on a radio play sparked my interest, and yes, I like Loni’s TVMs quite a bit (thinking of My Mother’s Secret Life right at this moment!), and it’s a USA Original… and… and… well, you get my drift. Despite mixed reviews, there are some films I simply need to see for myself. Luckily, although this remake isn’t, like, the best movie ever or anything, it’s a pretty fun timewaster with a surprisingly suspenseful ending.

Loni is Madeline, a Dynasty-rich invalid who has a wild New Year's Eve getting her lines crossed over and over again. Overhearing two men planning a murder of an unknown woman in Madeline’s neighborhood, this housebound heiress starts to uncover the mystery behind her strained marriage, and the real danger that lurks just outside of her door. Slick and confident, Sorry is also helped by a wonderfully capable cast including Patrick Macnee, Hal Holbrook, and OMG hawt Carl Weintraub. It’s not like you don’t know where this one is going, but the wonderful pacing and crisp and glamorous aesthetics are well worth a look. My favorite of the three films I watched.

I also took two naps. It was a great day.

Jeepers Creepers! TV Features! A Retrospective on Classic Made for Television Movies and the Halloween Season, Part III (1977-1980)

The witching hour is upon us! Here is part III of my retrospective on classic TVMs made for the creepiest of holiday seasons. (here's are links to part I and part II). This is definitely more treat than trick! Enjoy!

Murder in Peyton Place
Originally aired: October 3, 1977 on NBC
Starring: Dorothy Malone, Ed Nelson, Tim O’Connor

Featuring plenty of familiar faces from the original Peyton Place series, this potboiler focuses on the deaths of the characters Mia Farrow and Ryan O’Neal played in the original. For those who like their Halloween movies served with soap and cheese. (Note: I finally caught up Murder about two summers ago. It's z'oh-right, with some great fashions!)

Killer on Board
Originally aired: October 10, 1977 on NBC
Directed by: Philip Leacock
Starring: Claude Atkins, Patty Duke, George Hamilton

Another Love Boat Gone Bad TVM, except instead of a human face masking a killer, this one involves a deadly virus that is wiping out the roster of familiar actors. And yes, George Hamilton is still very tan.

The Night They Took Miss Beautiful
Originally aired: October 24, 1977 on NBC
Directed by: Robert Michael Lewis
Starring: Chuck Connors, Gary Collins, Sheree North, Victoria Principal

Some lucky criminals who hijack a plane carrying products for chemical warfare also end up abducting five hot beauty contestants! Wow, sometimes crime does pay! Beautiful women, a grand heist and polyester, Night is certainly silly but is so well-intentioned with genuine performances that it’s hard not to enjoy this honest little effort. (Note: I finally saw this one about 2 summers ago, and it's definitely worth catching. Check it out on Amazon Instant Video)

KISS Meets Phantom of the Park
Originally aired: October 28, 1978 on NBC
Directed by: Gordon Hessler
Starring: KISS, Anthony Zerbe

Simply the most over-the-top film on the list, KISS plays a band charmed with special powers. Exactly what these powers do is beyond me, but when Gene Simmons sneers the word "Starfire" as a star shoots out of his eyes and onto a lovely girl’s face, you know you’re in for some real good stuff! The story is basically about a mad scientist played by Anthony Zerbe, employed by Six Flags Magic Mountain, who creates some of the most realistic robots ever made. They’re so realistic in fact, you’d swear they were real. When Zerbe’s assistant catches wind of his sinister plan, he becomes a robot too. Enter the assistant’s girlfriend, Melissa (Deborah Ryan), who enlists the help of KISS, who just happen to be performing there, to help her solve the mystery.

Produced by Joseph Barbera of Hanna-Barbera fame, and featuring many of same sound effects they used in their cartoons, Phantom is a pretty great time capsule. Lots of awkward teens dress like their idols and prance around Six Flags with abandon. My favorite scene features the late Brion James as a biker harassing other Six Flag tourists. I also love the scene where KISS is performing “Beth” as someone tampers with their powers…

Devil Dog: The Hound 0f Hell
Originally aired: October 31, 1978 on CBS
Directed by: Curtis Harrington
Starring: Yvette Mimieux, Richard Crenna, Kim Richards, Ike Eisenmann

Crenna and Mimieux pick up a nasty little dog who is more interested in doing evil bidding for his ultimate master than playing catch. An odd choice for director Harrington (Who Slew Auntie Roo?), this ludicrous idea is livened by good acting and a sense of fun, making this movie just like Halloween candy, sweet and empty, but always a treat.

Stranger in Our House (aka Summer of Fear)
Originally aired: October 31, 1978 for NBC
Directed by: Wes Craven
Starring: Linda Blair, Jeff East, Lee Purcell

When you think of Wes Craven, you don’t necessarily think of TV Movies, but Craven gave the small screen three pretty good horror films, Invitation to Hell, the superb Chiller and this awesome little potboiler. A frizzy headed Blair plays the spunky heroine who fights for her family’s survival when her creepy cousin, Julia (Lee Purcell) moves in. Seems Blair is the only one who can see through Julia’s bewitching personality but it might be too late. Now, how did Blair see anything through all that hair?!? (click on title for review)

Vampire 
Originally aired: October 7, 1979 on ABC
Directed by: E.W. Swackhamer
Starring: Richard Lynch, Jason Miller, E.G. Marshall

A modern day vampire yarn featuring Richard Lynch as the seductive bloodsucker stalking innocent prey through the streets of San Francisco. Vampire is most notable for being co-written by prolific cop show creator Steven Bochco! It’s also a lush and gothic horror film that gives Richard Lynch a well-deserved chance at showing off his sexy side. Strangely enough, it works.

The Death of Ocean View Park
Originally aired: October 19, 1979 for ABC
Directed by: E.W. Swackhamer
Starring: Diana Canova, Martin Landau, Mike Connors

Neato! A Swackhamer double header (see above)! He also directed this disaster-of-the-week melodrama with a twist; a real park was demolished for the fictional hurricane. All in the name of art, right? Lots of familiar faces run around in a total panic, which is always fun.

Disaster on the Coastliner
Originally aired: October 28, 1979 for ABC
Directed by: Richard C. Sarafian
Starring: Lloyd Bridges, Raymond Burr, William Shatner

A disgruntled railway employee arranges for two oncoming trains on the same path to collide, unless his unscrupulous employer admits that they were fully responsible for a similar collision which killed the vengeful man’s wife and child. The resentful widower is played by Paul Smith who was Bluto in Robert Altman’s Popeye! Maybe it’s not edge-of-your-seat, but Disaster remains a great and fabulous popcorn thriller.

Revenge of the Stepford Wives 
Originally aired: October 12, 1980 on NBC
Directed by: Robert Fuest
Starring: Sharon Gless, Julie Kavner, Don Johnson

Veering slightly from the original Stepford Wives and skipping out on most of the satire, Revenge does offer a nice, strong female spin. Entertaining, if not particularly scary, Sharon Gless plays a reporter doing a story on the town of Stepford, a place with little divorce and even less crime. She befriends Julie Kavner, the only other woman in town who possesses an interesting personality. Little by little, Gless begins to unravel the mysteries behind the idyllic Stepford but she may be in too deep to go back. Revenge does offer the women of Stepford a chance to dish out some well deserved comeuppance but is even more far-fetched than the original, and might even be a little crazier than The Stepford Children but not nearly as crazy as The Stepford Husbands. (Update: This series needs some serious reevaluation. Is Husbands really crazier than Children?!? I must find out!)

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
Originally aired: October 31, 1980 on NBC
Directed by: Henning Schellerup
Starring: Jeff Goldblum, Paul Sand, Meg Foster

Basically a creepy horror movie made for kids, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow was a great way to end the 70s and bring fans of TVMs into the next decade. A pretty close adaptation of the Washington Irving classic, Goldblum is perfectly cast as Ichabod Crane and although it lacks in scares, there is still something so sinister about the Headless Horseman, and it naturally evokes terror in the audience, however slight.

Read Part I
Read Part II

Happy Halloween, ya'll!