City Killer (1984)

 
Network: NBC
Original Airdate: October 28, 1984

As a genre that sort of falls somewhere in the middle of highbrow and lowbrow entertainment, the made for television movie was able to play around with expectations and the types of stories it could bring to viewers. But then somewhere in between the betweens of The Burning Bed and Diary of Teenage Hitchhiker lies another middle, where films that set out to entertain weren’t sure if they should aim for that high or low bar. One of those films, City Killer, which is somewhat befuddling and perhaps overly ambitious, is also, for the most part, high entertainment, thanks to an extremely engaging Terence Knox and some decent special effects.

And, then there’s that common trope of 1980s TV. We all loved Heather Locklear. Circa early – mid 1980s, Locklear was all over the, ahem, boob tube, appearing as a series regular on the popular T.J. Hooker, while also showing up periodically to stir the pot at the Carrington mansion in Dynasty. She also somehow managed to appear on things such as Love Boat and even Firestarter. So it’s no shock that the indefatigable charmer found the time to star in a Movie of the Week, although it is really what the MOW is about that makes City Killer so interesting (Sorry Heather, you’ve been upstaged by a mad bomber!).

Locklear is Andrea McKnight, a general workaholic who has a dog she never walks, and who also enjoys slightly warm relationships with her co-workers. But she tends to be a tad aloof, choosing to keep herself in a self-imposed state of solitude in her airy apartment (she could walk that dog once in a while though). Things take a weird turn when she comes home late one night to find an attractive, but creepy man waiting for her. He’s Leo (Terence Knox), an ex who would prefer to be a current. But considering how he picks locks and waits in the dark for pretty blondes, he's not made of great boyfriend material. Even worse, when Andrea flat out refuses his advances, he decides to blow up buildings to get her attention! Nicknamed The Love Bomber, Leo joyfully sets explosives throughout the city, eventually targeting Andrea’s job amongst other random buildings.

Enter Lieutenant “Eck” Eckford (Gerald McRaney), a handsome but humorless cop who is assigned to protect Andrea and bring Leo to justice. Mostly though, he seems almost as sinister as Leo, constantly telling Andrea that she’s a target because she’s “a very nice person,” who understands when a guy can't get an erection. Then he quietly ogles her. In short, I was sort of rooting for Leo.

City Killer is, pardon the expression, a blast. Locklear and McRaney seem to be phoning it in, but the supporting cast, especially Todd Susman, John Harkins (best know to me for playing Ham Lushbough on an episode of the Golden Girls), and Harkin’s little rodent co-star, not to mention the lovably weird Knox are up to the task of making the ridiculous material work. Knox in an absolute joy as crazy Leo and if anyone can make terrorism adorable, it’s this guy.

The screenplay was written by one of the stalwarts of the Movie of the Week, Michael Wood, who was responsible for the excellent telefilms Savages, Haunts of the Very Rich, Outrage and Death Car on the Freeway. By the 1980s, Wood was still penning some interesting fare, including The Execution and The Penthouse, but City Killer honestly seems a little below him. Don’t get me wrong, it is a fun film, but considering how small scale and intimate most of his TVMs are, it felt as though Wood was dipping into his Death Car repertoire and perhaps overshot expectations.

Director Robert Michael Lewis (Pray for the Wildcats, y'all!) moved predominately to TV movies by the 1980s, and this was just one of eight films he directed between 1983-1985! It appears some of the explosions were done with miniatures with the rest comprised of footage of actual demolitions, all to decent effect. Things go boom quite nicely, and you quickly understand that Leo isn't joking around! He pulverizes the city, and kills several people along the way… all in the name of amore. Awwww, ain’t love grand?

As entertaining as City Killer is, it may be worth noting that it can be an uncomfortable viewing in our post 9-11 world. It’s mostly a flight of fancy and is so gloriously over the top that it’s 99% inoffensive, but (and maybe this is just me) it can be difficult to watch buildings pancake, even all these years later. At the same time, it also sadly recalls a bygone era of innocence adding a nostalgic flavor to the proceedings… but Heather’s intense feather cut basically does the same thing without making you feel bad. City Killer is worth a watch. You’ll fall in love with Leo and root for the bad guy. It’s a good time.

US VHS release

Promotional still

Who cares?!? I love it!

Incredible foreign VHS art (image from Rare Cult Cinema)

Nature's Fury Blogathon: Ants (aka It Happened at Lakewood Manor, 1977)

Network: ABC 
Original Airdate: December 2nd, 1977 

Before I start any review, I always conduct cursory research on my chosen film and hope for the best. Some of the most famous TV movies have little to no information, and sometimes the most obscure movies pull up all kinds of stuff (Dude, I can read all about Sorority Kill even if I can’t watch it). Associated Press was a fickle beast is all I will say about it. And then, I’m just Googling-along all innocent-like for info on Ants, and one of the first returns is SUZANNE SOMERS BREASTS ANTS! Well, that just about sums up what is arguably the most iconic scene in Ants (aka It Happened at Lakewood Manor). But let’s be honest, Ants ain’t exactly rife with “iconic” images; however, it is certainly well regarded, and well remembered by those who caught it when they were young enough to accept some of the more ludicrous moments. Upon a recent rewatch of Ants for this review, I found that the film is even more delightful than I remembered. Crazy and inconceivable for sure, but also a bit darker in tone than I was expecting and a little icky too.

The plot is as straightforward as they come: When a construction site accidentally unearths a swarm of poisonous ants during a dig, nearby Lakewood Manor is overrun by the little guys. Chaos ensues.

Well, OK, so there’s a lot of melodrama in there too. This is what we call character development, and some of it is clunky and awkward, especially anything with Ethel, played by the great Myrna Loy. Now, I’ve seen Myrna in a few TV movies and she’s generally a treat (Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate and The Elevator are two great examples), but it’s obvious that she was not into the material. However, the main stars Lynda Day George and Robert Foxworth make the most of what’s been given to them, and I actually felt invested in watching them crawl out of that hotel shaped anthill with all their lovely bits intact.

Most of the subplots are romance driven, which is always a plus for my starry-eyed inclinations. For example, Valerie (George) and Mike (Foxworth... or Foxy-worth as I have been known to call him), who make one of the most gorgeous made up couples ever, are interested in getting Valerie’s mom, Ethel to sell Lakewood Manor so they can move to San Francisco and live happily ever after... and send her mom packing to Florida. There’s also a pretty and hippie-ish drifter named Linda (Karen Lamm) who is tired of life on the road and hooks up with OMG gorgeous Richard (Barry Van Dyke), and love instantly blossoms. Heck, even the construction inspector (Anita Gillette) seems to have a bit of chemistry with the ant expert (Bruce French)!

And, if it isn’t about falling in love, it’s about the end of love, such as the story with Marjorie (Barbara Brownell) who is staying at the Manor with her son, Tommy (the forever adorable Moosie Drier) as she recovers from a divorce. And, of course no epic TV movie about insect invasions is complete without a little sinful love, and we get that with Miss Antsonbreasts herself, Gloria (Somers) and the evil Tony (Gerald Gordon) who is obviously lecherous and easily tagged as the guy who’s going to mess everything up. He does it in a spectacular fashion though, so all is forgiven. See, TV movies have never been about subtlety, which works in the favor of this compact, and economical little disaster/insect amok flick.

But, despite all of the romantic shenanigans, audiences really showed for the creepy-crawly treachery, and it is done very well. While I miss the Empire of the Ants ant-cam, there’s plenty of up close vermin shots, and lots of brave actors let those buggers crawl all over them (the above referenced Somers to name but one). And no one is safe from potential victimization. There’s a great scene with Tommy frantically jumping into a pool even though he can’t swim because he’s covered in coffee grounds… er, I mean... ants. Yikes.

There is also a fantastic firetruck ladder stunt, which leads to an OK helicopter stunt that ends with a horde obnoxious stunt onlookers finding themselves in the line of fire. At this point, I was definitely rooting for the ants.

The ant expert gives us the lowdown on why the ants are out for blood: buried for years, these insects have sucked up all of the toxins we humans have tried to entomb and hide away within the earth. Yes, humans are pretty much to blame for everything, so I’ll buy it. But, then we are told these ants, which have already killed at least two people and injured a few more, aren’t aggressive if you are just real still. So, then we get a shot of three actors sitting motionless with little tubes (made out of 1970s wallpaper!) in their mouths so they can breathe. I remember when I first saw this as an adult and I wondered if it was really so hard to step on them and just leave? But, ludicrous is part and parcel for our little insect amok flicks, and I’ve learned to take my ant havoc with a grain of salt. Wait, doesn’t salt kill ants? Hmmm, maybe they could have done that?

In the confident hands of journeyman TV director Robert Scheerer (Changing Scene, Poor Devil and tons of episodic fare), and with a script by TV movie veteran Guerdon Trueblood (The Love War, Sole Survivor, and Ants' companion Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo), and thanks to the actors who wanted to be there (and also to Myrna for just showing up cuz I still love her so), Ants is a good reminder that even if a telefilm doesn’t get under your skin (ha!) television factory filmmaking was often much better than it should have been.

This review is part of Cinematic Catharsis's excellent Nature's Fury Blogathon! Check out more of the reviews here and here. 

The TV Sidekick Blogathon: A Love Letter to Bosley on Charlie's Angels

 
“Once upon a time there were three little girls who went to Police Academy…” 

… and a number cruncher named Bosley.

Scratchy voiced David Doyle came up in a family of lawyers, and even attended law school, but found acting was a lot more fun. In 1960 he made his debut on Broadway in a musical titled Beg, Borrow, or Steal, which just happened to coincide with his earliest television appearances (IMDb lists his first credit in 1959 as “Desk Clerk”). He certainly paid his dues, working his way up the ranks, appearing regularly on The Patty Duke Show, and Bridget Loves Bernie among others. And while he was a common small screen face, he didn’t become a household name until an offer to play the (originally) grumpy bookkeeping assistant to a never-seen Charlie on a landmark seventies action series came to his door. Charlie’s Angels would be unvaryingly lambasted by snooty critics, but loved by adoring fans like myself, who found Doyle’s John Bosley (referred to mostly as Bosley or “Boz”) a perfect companion to the lovely trio of detectives who solved mostly glamorous crimes on a weekly basis.

This is what I do. Answer the phone, while trying not to get knocked over by Angel hair.

Let’s be honest, the Angels, five in all, were uniformly perfect, and it may have seemed a given that Bosley would possess some form of lascivious middle-aged chauvinism, or come across as someone who was resentful of the power positions of his female co-workers. But in Doyle's confident shoes, Bosley was a lovable pragmatic assistant and friend. While many viewers saw him as a father figure to the women, Doyle thought he was more like the good-natured and goofy Uncle who might be a bit spinster-ish with the books, but whose ultimate desire was to see the Angels succeed.

Buddies 4 life!

With all this love for Bosley in the air, I dove into my research by flipping through the normally reliable Prime-Time Life by Aaron Spelling and scanned the chapter all about the Angels for Doyle anecdotes. But wait. Did my eyes just deceive me? Was there really no mention of the fabulous actor who portrayed Bosley and the role he played in making the series so great?

Curses Bosley! You’ve been foiled yet again!

Don't worry Boz, the fans love you!

But you know what? Isn’t that par for Bosley’s course? Doyle faced an uphill battle with the series, initially playing Bosley as a curmudgeon number cruncher in the pilot movie (alongside David Ogden Steirs who disappeared by the time the series began). Doyle did indeed have the unglamorous task of making his pencil pushing “secretary” character into someone likeable, and also someone who didn’t mind hanging around the background while his three female co-stars took the spotlight and better on-set stylists.

Is it just me, or is that gorgeous sweater trying to upstage Bosley?

And there is very little to Bosley, actually. He talks to Charlie, takes phones calls from the Angels, sometimes puts on a costume and/or accent to help his co-workers out, and then often finds himself the butt of the joke during the end call where Charlie wraps the whole affair up. Doyle could have easily leered at the lovely actresses, picked up his check and spent his days snorting coke in Bel Air (I’m just sayin’ for the sake of argument), but he chose to bring intelligence, humor and depth to the character. Also, he simply loved acting, and loved working with his co-stars. He once commented that working alongside three beautiful women or acting with three cigar smoking males was all the same to him, because it was the job that mattered and he saw his castmates as equals who wanted to work just as much as he did. I don’t mean to quote Aretha or anything, but R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

These are my partners, see?

Although he’d get a few love interests (who were usually bad guys in cashmere), and a couple of Bosley-centric episodes, Doyle was fully aware of his place in the series, stating in an interview “I don’t know a show that has three equal leads. So it gets harder and harder to add a further element of equality – me.” And while he publicly wished Bosley was a little more together, I grew up seeing him as quite the hero, probably in part because he readily set aside his ego to let the ladies shine. I also realize that despite that lack of spotlight, I still saw him as less of an assistant, and more a full-fledged partner. I mean, he even had his own silhouette!

You've arrived, Bosley!

What’s so interesting about ol’ Boz is that, while many critics derided the series for it’s jiggly charms and fluffy demeanor, it sometimes served as a space for some interesting gender bending storylines, where Bosley played the “girl” who needed rescuing. Angels in Waiting (OAD 3/21/79) is a prime example of this, featuring Doyle in the first of only a few Bosley-centric episodes, where he is a lovelorn, frustrated “secretary” who attempts to have a little adventure of his own. Of course, he’s fallen for the wrong lady, and inevitably has to be saved by the Angels. Switch the roles, and it would look like an episode of any other detective show, but in this bubblegum wrapper of a series, we’ve just predicted The Heat! Wut? I know. Cool, right?

Adventures always involve gunplay, you know...

And further to Boz's charms, despite being mostly a flashback episode, in the very last Charlie's Angels, Let Our Angel Live (OAD 6/24/1981), Bosley got to show off some insanely amazing chops after Kelly is shot by a suspect. I can't even put into words how much he goes into a tour de force of badassery, so I'll just do it in pictures:

But despite all that male feminism and working for the love acting, David Doyle was the best simply because made me smile. It’s not that the Angels weren’t funny (although they really weren’t, let’s be honest) but Doyle had terrific comic timing, and was never afraid to be the silly odd man out. After Kate Jackson left and the ratings began to dip, one forward thinking television columnist suggested that Bosley was the Angel’s Fonzie, and that his role should be expanded to exploit his character to its fullest potential. Bosley in a bikini with a holster? I’m in.

This is how I will always remember David Doyle, and with love.

This post is part of the TV Sidekick Blogathon, which is hosted by the fine folks over at the Classic Film and TV Cafe. Check out the rest of the amazing entries by clicking here.

Trenchcoat in Paradise (1989)

 Network: CBS 
Original Air Date: October 18th, 1989 

In an interview, Dirk Benedict excitedly explained one of the reasons why he loved making Trenchcoat in Paradise. He mused that it was a departure from the more ensemble-type programming he was associated with and said, “Trenchcoat is the first show in which I’ll be playing the lead.” In a different interview he expressed similar excitement about the potential of the hopeful series and his part in it. Benedict explained the potential charm: “It’s a cross between Columbo and the Rockford Files… It’s the first full-dimensional character I got to play.” (Note: Remember when I went cuckoo nutso over Benedict playing Columbo in a British stage production? Looks like he got an early start at working out his version of the great detective)

Benedict also likened the show to Magnum P.I., which was a series that CBS was using as a springboard to promote the Hawaii-set Trenchcoat. Hoping it would make a nice replacement for the much beloved and highly rated detective series, the network tested the blue waters with a pilot movie. Unfortunately, despite some wonderful moments that make Trenchcoat seem like it could be an appealing series, the TVM inevitably falls flat.

Dirk Benedict is Eddie Mazada, an 80s gumshoe lost to the world of the old 1940s sleuths who enjoy a challenging mystery, but prefer a tasty cigar. Working the streets of New Jersey, Eddie is (somewhat politely) run out of town by the local mobsters. He's is in a good place though because he’s got a few bucks and nothing to tie him down (it’s established that he’s divorced and an absentee father). So, if you’ve got to start fresh, why not do it on the sandy beaches of Hawaii? Luck seems to really be on his side, because as soon as he lands, he manages to buy a detective agency that already has a nice contact list, and a super gorgeous assistant who prefers bikinis to office attire.

And of course, since we only have 90 minutes, Eddie is instantly thrown into the high profile case revolving around the murder of a wealthy and influential land developer. While the developer’s partner, John Hollander (Bruce Dern) seems the most likely to have committed the crime, the rest of the suspects are far curvier, and seem to generate more interest from Eddie Mazda! There’s Claire (Kim Zimmer), Hollander’s lonely wife. Her five percent ownership of the company creates a swing vote between John and his recently deceased associate. And then there’s Hollander’s sister, Suzanna (Michelle Phillips), a woman who vehemently opposes any land development. And finally there is John’s sexy assistant Lisa (Catherine Oxenberg), who is working her way up the corporate ladder by taking her boardroom meetings into the bedroom (I always love writing that!).

That’s quite a lot to take in, and while Trenchcoat is a mouthful of mystery, it’s not too hard to play along with the disheveled Mazada, a man who refuses to drop his dark suits and trenchcoats on the island. Essentially, this is an update on the classic noir film, with a strong dose of fish-out-of-water antics to bring a few smiles to the game, thanks to Benedict’s indefatigable charm. Unfortunately, neither fully works.

Directed with a gorgeous eye by Martha Coolidge (Valley Girl), and written with a sometimes-charming edge by Tom Dempsey, it’s difficult to say exactly what went wrong. I loved the idea of taking the tropes of the noir, and turning them upside down by placing the protagonist in a light (and sometimes lighthearted) space of volleyball, surfing and luaus, but Trenchcoat never fully forms into anything more than a reasonable time killer.

I do love that Benedict sort of rejects his days as Face from the A-Team by playing down his good looks. This is about a down on his luck, but basically optimistic working class Joe who needed a fresh start, and in that respect, Dirk makes Mazada an easily relatable character. The other pleasant surprise was Sydney Walsh as Mona, Eddie’s smart and sexy assistant. Her side story about the missing surfboard is one of the highlights of the tele-film.

Also, it was weird, interesting and absolutely perfect timing that I just watched Rubdown, because Michelle Phillips and Catherine Oxenberg go femme fatale in that TVM as well (Of the two films, I’m more partial to Rubdown... Sorry Dirk).

Battles: The Murder That Wouldn't Die (1980)

Network: NBC
Original Air Date: March 9th, 1980

What the wut?

Those were the words swimming through my head as I watched the pilot TVM Battles: The Murder That Wouldn’t Die. After an energetic opening credits montage, Battles settles into a convoluted mystery surrounding an almost 40 year old rape case that left one of the accused dead and a lot of unanswered questions. William Battles (William Conrad, looking positively slender in comparison to his Cannon years) is an ex-Los Angeles detective who has moved to Hawaii to help out his ailing brother Allan (Edward Binns). Battles has taken a post as head of security at Hawaii State University and gets in some overtime as one of the university’s football team coaches (!). Unfortunately, he’s in town for a whole day before his brother is killed in a suspicious car accident. It would seem Allan reopened the 1940s rape case and got just a tad too close to the culprit. Now it’s up to brother Battles to follow in his sibling’s footsteps and solve the crime.

What’s most surprising about this synopsis is that I was able to write it out coherently. Battles is one slapdash, choppy little movie with some misplaced energy and a whole lot of confusion. The cast is great, the locations are gorgeous, and there is definitely a gold nugget of a story somewhere inside this 90-minute mess, but none of it comes together in any real way. Apparently, NBC felt something similar because although six more episodes of Battles were written, they never got the green light.

While Conrad is the star, a rag-tag group associated with the university supports him. There is Allan’s daughter Shelby (Robin Mattson), who just knows her dad was murdered (although she cheers up a little too quickly after the fact), and there’s her feathery headed boyfriend Deacon (Lane Caudell), whose creepy aggression disappears by his second scene, and there’s Tuli (Tommy Aguilar), an island native and a con man (and totally adorable), and finally there is Dean Mary Phillips (Marj Dusay), a woman with a murky but intriguing past relationship to Battles. The idea for the series was that this group would get involved with the police on seemingly unsolvable cases. However, they show a general lack of taste in their crime-fighting skills, as noted by their recreation of the events that lead to the original rape! Sheesh.

The pilot’s roster of guest stars is fantastic, if misused. Jonathan Hillerman, Jose Ferrer, Mike Kellin and the great Don Porter (aka Gidget’s dad and all around cool actor) make the most of the material, but are only offered one or two moments to look suspicious, and aren’t given a whole heck of a lot else to do otherwise. Produced and co-written by the legendary Glen A. Larson, Battles appeared in the midst of a storm of Larson productions, including another unsold pilot titled Nightside with Doug McClure. But around those two misfires, Larson was also working behind the scenes on The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo, B.J. and the Bear and the critically derided Galactica 1980 (btw, I kind of liked 1980… screw it!). Also, Larson was the co-creator of Magnum P.I., which also debuted in 1980. Busy man. Perhaps in all this chaos, no one was paying proper attention to Battles, because what is lost is mostly in the details, and a sharper eye may have been able to fix some of the problems.

One a positive note (and maybe it’s the Library-Science-graduate-student-to-be in me), I thought the plotline that followed the destruction of archival materials was pretty dang fascinating. Battles used old newspapers to track the original crime (and actually solve it), but found that most of the documentation had either been destroyed in an earlier fire at the newspaper’s headquarters or were recently ruined via a torching of the microfiche records at the college (how could they?!?). To put the pieces together, Battles and crew track the information through old-fashioned footwork, the somewhat guarded spoken history as told by those at the club the night of the rape, and through locating a man so obsessed with the crime that he kept every single newspaper that covered the story. It was research done old-school style, and what can I say, I enjoyed watching the process.

The flashback footage from the 1940s was shot in black and white and clips of the Andrew Sisters performing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy were inserted into the scene (these scene were lifted from the 1941 film Buck Privates). Turns out, March of 1980 was a big month for the Andrews Sisters because they were also featured in the PBS documentary G.I. Jive, which aired on the 15th. Battles, which ran under NBC’s The Big Event, went directly up against the TV movie premiere of the remake of Amber Waves, starring Dennis Weaver and Kurt Russell. Waves got most of the press and it would seem Battles faded quietly into the background and without much fuss. Conrad came back with a short-lived Nero Wolfe series before landing on his chubby feet with the extremely popular Jake and the Fatman. So, it’s all good, even if Battles is unfortunately not so great.