Miskatonic Talk (No. 3): A list

I just gave my third Miskatonic Institute of Horror Studies talk on February 7th. Again, it was all about TV genre movies, but since it was longer than my talk in London, a few things have changed. Also, please note that I DID NOT update this list with my lecture in New York City, so this will be slightly different from that talk, but closer to it than the one in London (following this, cuz I am not sure I am!). Anyway, here's what was discussed and seen. And again, big thanks to Kier-La Janisse and the fine folks at the Philosophical Research Society for hosting such a great event. And I'm also throwing a lot of gratitude and love towards the audience who have been incredible at all of my talks. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

Topic: TV Movies as an Event

Opening Bumper Reel:
Deliver Us From Evil
KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park
Trackdown: Finding the Goodbar Killer
Midnight Hour

Topic: An Overview of the History of the TV Movie
Maybe I’ll Come Home in the Spring
Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver

Subtopic: The Intimacy Aspect
The Astronaut / Capricorn 1
The Spell / Carrie

Subtopic: The First Made for TV Movies:
See How they Run
Seven in Darkness

Topic: Popularity of the TV Movie (Nielsens)
Dr. Cook's Garden
Crowhaven Farm
The Girl Most Likely To...
Cry in the Wilderness

Topic: So Many Subgenres!
Invitation to Hell (Satanic Panic)
Legend of Lizzie Borden (True Crime)
The Stranger Within (Sci-Fi)
Five Desperate Women (proto-slasher)
Ants! (Nature Runs Amok)
Bad Ronald (Evil Kids)
Mazes and Monsters (Propaganda)
Killjoy (Thriller)

Subtopic: That's a Pilot TV Movie?!
Madame Sin
Cover Girls
Velvet
Ebony, Ivory and Jade
Samurai
Men of the Dragon

Topic: Important Filmmakers:
John Llewellyn Moxey
Aaron Spelling
Steven Spielberg: Duel
John Badham: It's it Shocking?
John Carpenter: Someone's Watching Me!
David Levinson / William Wiard
Richard Levinson / William Link
Dan Curtis
Richard Matheson

Clip reel (Curtis/Matheson):
Night Stalker
Trilogy of Terror
Dracula
Dead of Night: Bobby

Topic: Climbing out of the Pigeonhole:
Robert Reed
Elizabeth Montgomery
Barbara Eden
Andy Griffith

Clip reel: 
Barbara Eden: The Woman Hunter
Robert Reed: Haunts of the Very Rich

Topic: Marketing the Horror Telefilm
Savages
Look What Happened to Rosemary’s Baby

Promo clip reel:
Born Innocent
Deadly Lessons
The Intruder Within
Someone’s Watching Me!
Invitation to Hell
Bad Seed
Look What Happened to Rosemary’s Baby

TV Guide Section:
The Babysitter
Fantasies
Dying Room Only
This House Possessed
Bridge Across Time (aka Terror at London Bridge)
Midnight Hour
No Place to Hide
Are You in the House Alone?

Topic: Popular Subgenre - Supernatural
Subtopic: The Haunted House/Ghost Story Telefilm, and the Intimacy of Grief:
Fear No Evil
Daughter of the Mind
The House that Would Not Die
Don’t Go to Sleep
This House Possessed
She Waits
(*all of the above had companion clips, with the exception of The House that Wouldn't Die)

 
Subtopic: The Paranormal TVM and Second Wave Feminism
The Spell
Midnight Offerings (included clip)
Initiation of Sarah
Wes Craven's Summer of Fear

TOPIC: Female Ensembles
Five Desperate Women
She's Dressed to Kill
Friendships, Secrets and Lies

Clip reel:
Home for the Holidays
Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate
She's Dressed to Kill


Topic: A Small Screen Nasty Moment
Born Innocent

Topic: Into the Eighties
Dark Night of the Scarecrow
I, Desire
Fantasies
Dark Mansions
A Stranger Waits

TOPIC: THE 90s and Beyond!
The Haunted

Subtopic: The USA Original Movie
The China Lake Murders
Dirty Little Secret

Subtopic: Mother, May I Sleep with Demographics?
Death of a Cheerleader

Promo reel:
Friends til the End
Death of a Cheerleader
A Killer in the Family
Awake to Danger
The Man Who Wouldn't Die
Frankenstein: The College Years
Dark Shadows
Stepford Husbands

Topic: You Can't Keep a Good Concept Down:
Sabertooth
The Perfect Neighbor
Spring Break Shark Attack
Rosemary's Baby

Topic: Monsters!
Promo reel:
The Intruder Within
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
Devil Dog: Hound of Hell
Snowbeast
The World Beyond
Gargoyles

The End!

Let's Talk Summer of Fear: An Interview with Lisa Holmes of Music Box Films/Doppelgänger Releasing

 Lee Purcell as Julia Trent in Summer of Fear. © Micheline Keller/Courtesy of
Doppelgänger Releasing

Ummm... can we just call 2017 the Year of the TV Movie? With the release of The Spell, the announcement of The Burning Bed coming out and Music Box Films/Doppleganger Releasing, uh, releasing the most excellent Wes Craven joint Summer of Fear on Blu-Ray, it seems that the oft-maligned telefilm genre is getting its due, and with all kinds of neat bonus features... The love!

Of course, I'm an obvious champion of these movies, and have a particular soft spot for Craven's small screen flicks. I wrote extensively about them in an essay I penned for my book Are You in the House Alone? A TV Movie Compendium: 1964-1999, and I've also reviewed his big three telefilms here, if you want to read my thoughts on Summer of Fear (and Invitation to Hell and Chiller... and you can listen to a podcast episode dedicated to these films as well). I'm so pleased this film is getting a second chance at a new audience, and I should mention it comes with the original Wes Craven commentary conducted on the TV movie's original DVD release from a few years ago. So many great tidbits coming the master himself, a new interview with Linda Blair, and a gorgeous new transfer of a great film! Hooray!

Lisa Holmes, the Director of Sales, Home Entertainment of Music Box Films/Doppleganger Releasing took some time out to discuss the release, which is today, y'all. Go pick up your copy (link above), and leave a review!

Carol Lawrence as Leslie Bryant and Jeremy Slate as Tom Bryant in Summer
of Fear. Courtesy of Doppelgänger Releasing

Amanda Reyes: Why did Music Box/Doppelganger decide to release Summer of Fear?

Lisa Holmes: We saw it as a diamond in the rough, and a great way to start a new direction for the Doppelganger Releasing label. If you look at our catalog, you’ll see that we gravitate toward what I like to think of as a little interesting and different. Summer of Fear fit that bill for us.

AR: It's fantastic that you were able to acquire the original commentary that Wes Craven did for the DVD release in 2003. Out of curiosity, I'm wondering if it is difficult to procure previously released extra materials that were done for another distributor?

LH: We got very lucky in this instance. It always boils down to underlying rights and with older properties in particular, it can be a difficult proposition.

Lee Purcell as Julia Trent in Summer of Fear. © Micheline Keller/Courtesy of
Doppelgänger Releasing

AR: Wes Craven's TVM work has largely been ignored. I'm wondering if you have any general thoughts on his four telefilms, Summer of Fear, Invitation to Hell, Chiller and Night Visions, and how they fit into his overall filmography?

LH: I wonder about that too. I’m no scholar on the subject, but as a viewer I’ve always been of the opinion that Wes Craven’s work was smart and well-crafted regardless of the medium. I never feel like he dumbed anything down, which makes it more interesting. He was willing to go against certain horror tropes – and clearly with the Scream films had no problem making fun of them too.

I think too, unfortunately because he has passed away, people are taking the time to dig in to the broader scope of his work because there won’t be any more. If you want to look at his work completely, the TV films need to have their due as well as the big theatrical releases. On a total side note, one of the things I love about all four of those projects are the casts. It’s totally worth trolling IMDB to see who was in all of those movies. For Summer of Fear, I knew about Linda Blair and Lee Purcell of course, but Fran Drescher and Macdonald Carey were like the cherry on top of the ice cream with the cake. Bobbi Flekman and Dr. Tom Horton in the same movie? My head just exploded.

Lee Purcell as Julia Trent in Summer of Fear. © Micheline Keller/Courtesy of
Doppelgänger Releasing

AR: I was speaking to a couple of people who work for companies that have released TV movies on DVD/Blu Ray and they said they noticed an uptick in interest in the genre. Have you noticed that as well? If so, why do you think that is?

LH: I remember when the moniker “Made for TV” had a certain quality to it that people looked down upon. Perhaps in these days of truly excellent, original television content, viewers and labels alike are keeping a more open mind and are looking at previous made for television films with a new perspective as valid works of art. Of course, it may be driven too by people in my generation who are feeling nostalgic as well. Member Berries anyone?

Linda Blair as Rachel Bryant in Summer of Fear. © Micheline
Keller/Courtesy of Doppelgänger Releasing

AR: I don't want you to give away anything in the interview you conducted with Linda Blair, but can you tell us how she generally looks back on the film, and maybe working with Wes?

LH: Just as a point of clarification, I did not personally conduct the interview. I wish I had! I will say this, when you see the interview I think you cannot be anything but impressed with how professional she is now and how professional she was at such a young age. I wish I could be that professional now. I loved that she spoke of working with Wes Craven as if it were yesterday rather than almost 40 years ago. I hope everyone enjoys the interview!

AR: Do you have plans to release any other TV movies?

LH: Can I say “stay tuned” here without it sounding like a bad pun?

AR: Do you have a favorite TV movie?

LH: SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM! As a Gemini, I reserve the right to pick two that come to mind right away. The Boy In the Plastic Bubble and KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park left lasting impressions. Salem’s Lot. How do you stop?

Talking TV at the Miskatonic Institute of Horror Studies: The Films

For those of you interested in what I discussed whilst I was in London last week attempting to sound scholarly (see how I used "whilst"... I've become so British!), or if you came and were interested in checking out some of the titles I mentioned, here is a list of what I discussed, or screened, along with the topic I placed them under (some titles linked to my reviews or episodes of podcasts where we featured that title):

Topic: TV Movies as an Event

Opening Bumper Reel:
Deliver Us From Evil
KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park
Trackdown: Finding the Goodbar Killer
Midnight Hour

Topic: An Overview of the History of the TV Movie
Maybe I’ll Come Home in the Spring
Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver
See How they Run
Seven in Darkness

Topic: Popularity of the TV Movie (Nielsens)
Dr. Cook's Garden
Crowhaven Farm
The Girl Most Likely To...
Cry in the Wilderness

Topic: Important Filmmakers:
Dan Curtis
Richard Matheson
John Llewellyn Moxey
Aaron Spelling

Movies discussed (very briefly):
Duel
Satan’s School for Girls
Trilogy of Terror
The Night Stalker

Topic: Marketing the Horror Telefilm
Savages
Look What Happened to Rosemary’s Baby

Promo clip reel:
Born Innocent
Deadly Lessons
The Intruder Within
Someone’s Watching Me!
Invitation to Hell
Bad Seed
Look What Happened to Rosemary’s Baby

TV Guide Section:
The Babysitter
Fantasies
Dying Room Only
This House Possessed
Bridge Across Time (aka Terror at London Bridge)
Midnight Hour
No Place to Hide
Are You in the House Alone?

Topic: So Many Subgenres!
Invitation to Hell (Satanic Panic)
Legend of Lizzie Borden (True Crime)
The Stranger Within (Sci-Fi)
Five Desperate Women (proto-slasher)
Ants! (Nature Runs Amok)
Bad Ronald (Evil Kids)
Mazes and Monsters (Propaganda)
Killjoy (Thriller)

Topic: Popular Subgenre - Supernatural
Subtopic: The Haunted House/Ghost Story Telefilm, and the Intimacy of Grief:
Fear No Evil
Daughter of the Mind
The House that Would Not Die
Don’t Go to Sleep
This House Possessed
She Waits
(*all of the above had companion clips, with the exception of The House that Wouldn't Die)

 
Subtopic: The Paranormal TVM and Second Wave Feminism
The Spell
Midnight Offerings (included clip)
Initiation of Sarah
Night Cries

Subtopic: Tiny Monsters and the Domestic Space

Tiny Monster reel:
Dead of Night segment: Bobby
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark
Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell
The Intruder Within
Trilogy of Terror

A clip reel I didn't get to show: Big Monsters!

Conclusion: The TV Horror Film from 1985 to Present:
Kicks (revamp of ABC Movie of the Week)
Bad Seed (revamp of ABC Movie of the Week)
The Haunting of Sarah Hardy (USA Original)
Murder by Night (USA Original)
Tainted Blood (USA Original)
The Haunted (included clip)
Grave Secrets: The Legacy of Hilltop Drive
Mark of the Devil (re-purposed Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense)
Spring Break Shark Attack (revival of the horror movie of the week)
Locusts (revivial of the horror movie of the week)
Rosemary's Baby miniseries remake (the telefilm as an "event" continues)

The End!

I'd like to thank Kier-La Janisse and Jennifer Wallis, as well as my publisher, David Kerekes of Headpress, and the Miskatonic Institute of Horror Studies for hosting such an incredible event (the folks at the Horse Hospital were pretty great too). We almost sold out of the book I edited, Are You in the House Alone? A TV Movie Compendium: 1964-1999 (which is now available through Amazon), and I've had some wonderful feedback. Also, two new real life friends, Tom Elliot from The Strange and Deadly Show and Chris Brown from The Last Horror Podcast (along with his gorgeous wife) made the trek from Liverpool to ensure the whole thing was even more memorable. I am so grateful for the last few months, and I hope you continue to join me on this little small screen adventure!

TV Terror Blogathon: The House that Wouldn't Die (1970)

Just in time for Halloween, this post was part of the Terror TV Blogathon hosted by the Classic TV Blog Association. There are tons of creepy reads ahead, so check out what's scary to others in the association by clicking here. Oh, and enjoy! Let's roll...

Network: ABC
Original Airdate: October 27th, 1970

Although it has been many years since I read Barbara Michael’s excellent Ammie, Come Home, which The House that Would Not Die (aka The House that Wouldn't Die) is based on, I remember it as a chilling and fascinating novel. Michaels, whose real name was Barbara Mertz, earned a PhD in Egyptology from the University of Chicago before becoming a best selling author, writing under the names of Michaels, and Elizabeth Peters. As Michaels, she often dove into Gothic ghost stories, brilliantly weaving her knowledge of the research process she had developed while acquiring her doctorate, incorporating the fascinating “brick and mortar” historical interrogation methods into the mystery solving her characters engaged in. The ABC Movie of the Week adaptation, written by Henry Farrell (a fellow novelist who also penned the screenplay for the excellent TVM The Eyes of Charles Sand) somehow manages to maintain some of the authenticity of that process while also indulging in the many supernatural thrills that made the novel so compelling.

A look at a similar(ish) color scheme used in the TVM's foreign artwork and a later release of the novel:

Barbara Stanwyck makes her telefilm debut as Ruth Bennett, an elegant and independent woman who inherits a beautiful but remote house from a distant relative. Taking her lovely niece, Sara (Kitty Winn) along for the ride, the duo decides to set up house for a bit, but soon find out something is already living there. 

That’s the basic premise of this simple but suspenseful ghost tale that also interweaves some charming romance elements (along with a few rapey ones, but we’ll get to that) for Ruth, and a professor named Pat (Richard Egan, also making his TV movie debut), as well as for Sara with a cutie pie named Stan (Michael Anderson Jr., and his moustache). Following the original storyline beats of Ammie, House kicks of quickly with a nifty séance, before embarking on a slow burn film about possession, lost love, and grief, leading to a surprisingly moving ending.

The hauntings, which are classic even by the standards of 1970, begin early on, as a male voice cries “Ammie, come home,” in the wee hours of the night. Soon after, Sara takes a peculiar turn, becoming terrified of Pat, who is also acting curiously, and sometimes violently when inside the house. Based on my memory, the novel and film depart mostly in terms of the location. Ammie takes place in the busy and stately D.C. neighborhood of Georgetown, where the neighbors are literally yards away from the chaos. House is out in the middle of no man’s land, where help isn’t simply a scream away, feeding into a real sense of seclusion. While the more urban setting of Ammie works wonderfully in the novel, I really like the isolated locale in House.

 
Like most telefilms, House is not overtly violent, but manages to bring on the creep factor in several scenes. One of the most jaw dropping ones occurs relatively early when Pat forces himself on Ruth. It is an uncomfortable moment meant to express that Pat is no longer himself, but it does tap into some very real fears of that pushy date you dread but have probably encountered. Ruth somehow manages to forgive Pat, and that he is being taken over by a spirit helps the audience also come back to loving him, but that scene still stands out as a realistically terrifying moment.

And, House has atmosphere to spare. Going back to the location, the howling winds that rattle around the house give the film a sense of unease. The séance is, like all séances are in my opinion, awesome, and Winn is excellent as the possessed victim. There are a few supporting characters, but House relies heavily on the four leads to carry the film. Stanwyck and Egan are the standouts as the couple fighting off ghosts while sometimes fighting off their feelings for each other, but with pros like that, can anyone else expect to upstage those two? Well, Stanwyck’s gorgeous oh-so-seventies wardrobe almost does. It’s the height of middle aged glamour and she looks beautiful showing off one majestic frock after another.

Majestic frocks: 

Spelling and Stawyck actually had a long and fruitful history together, beginning in 1968 with the Zane Grey Theater episode Trail to Nowhere, which Stanwyck appeared in and which Spelling produced. Afterwards, the two worked on The Dick Powell Theatre episode Special Assignment (1962), before Stanwyck made her telefilm debut in House. Afterwards she got a bit more sinister in the 1971 TVM A Taste of Evil, and then in 1973 starred in The Letters. She also played Toni in the gender bending Charlie’s Angels episode Toni’s Boys and then took a gig as Constance Colby on both Dynasty and in The Colbys. Stanwyck had already put in years of spellbinding professional work, but her more fanciful gigs with Spelling are memorable and wonderful. TV looked so good on her, and Spelling loved working with classic Hollywood, and did right by them (if I do say so myself).

But let's not forget the other man behind the camera, John Llewellyn Moxey, who also directed Stanwyck in A Taste of Evil. The journeyman director knew how to make more out of less, and he maintains an economical but genuinely claustrophobic ambiance, especially in the possession scenes. There is something so charming about House, but in all honestly, it isn't just nostalgia that makes this film a true ABC Movie of the Week classic, it's just really simple and solid, almost perfecting that dark and stormy night watching that made so many of the MOWs so damn entertaining. In short, the goods are for real.

I was surprised to read that Ammie is actually a part of a trilogy of novels Michaels wrote, which is known as the Georgetown trilogy. According to this great article by Natalie Luhrs on Pretty Terrible, in the follow up, titled Shattered Silk, Michaels brings back Pat and Ruth, although the novel now follows another one of Ruth’s nieces named Karen who finds herself solving an old murder mystery. The third novel, Stitches in Time doesn’t keep it in the family, instead making the protagonist a friend of Karen's named Rachel, and involves a cursed quilt. Honestly, you can't go wrong with the novel or its small screen adaptation. It's creepy good times for the Halloween season! 

Newspaper promo for The House that Wouldn't Die

Must See Streaming Movie of the Week: Mind Over Murder (1979)

Network: CBS
Original Airdate: October 23rd, 1979 

In 1979, the Golden Age of made for television horror movies was arguably in the rearview mirror, but that’s not to say that good genre TVMs weren’t on the horizon. We still had a few years to go until one of the ultimate small screen chillers, Don’t Go to Sleep (1982) traumatized anyone with a pizza cutter. And somewhere in between the classic ABC Movie of the Week and the  unexpected post-seventies classics like Sleep were some solid genre entries, many of which seemed to have fallen off the radar. Of course, incredible telefilms such as Salem’s Lot (1979), and 1981’s Dark Night of the Scarecrow are bona fide classics, but there’s plenty of little films that aired during this declining era that seem all but forgotten. Good but not great films like Night Cries (1978) and The Babysitter (1980) were finding their way to the networks, and Mind Over Murder actually falls somewhere closer to the greats, despite its relatively obscure status.

Deborah Raffin is Suzy, a model, dancer and a somewhat popular commercial actress known for her dancing hamburger spots! She’s also a touch psychic and things go all weird when she meets a friend for a drink and finds the world going hazy, eventually coming to a complete stop… except for one menacing figure who eyes her creepily from a bar stool. Mostly shrugging off the weirdness, Suzy has another “vision,” later that same night, this time while watching an egg slowly roll out of the fridge, smashing on the kitchen floor. The voices and rumbling sounds accompanying the cracking egg eventually leads her to believe she predicted the terrible plane crash that becomes front page news on the next day’s morning paper.

Her arguably adorable boyfriend (and live in mate) Jason (Bruce Davison) becomes far less loveable when he refuses to put any weight into Suzy’s creepy phantasms, even after she’s able to prove that the voices she heard during the infamous egg incident belong to the doomed crew in the cockpit. Luckily, she’s met Ben (David Ackroyd), a handsome flight investigator who sends her to Dr. Povey (Christopher Cary). His psychic research suggests that Suzy is somehow going to make a physical connection with whoever sabotaged the plane… and maybe he’s creepy and bald, just like the guy Suzy saw at the bar. What she doesn’t know is that the killer is as in tune to her as she is to him, and he’s getting closer to her each day.

Shot under the title Are You Alone Tonight, Mind Over Murder is weird. The psychic visions are off-putting and eerie, and Andrew Prine as the above referenced crazy guy is freaking terrifying. When a very sweaty and crazy-eyed Prine, listed in the credits as the “Bald Man” kidnaps Suzy and attempts to entice her by flexing his wiry and lean muscles (no joke), it’s strangely effective in its gross factor (and I never thought I find Mr. Prine icky). In fact, the kidnap scenes make up most of the last quarter of the film, and there are near rapes, punchings and other uncomfortable moments that could have very well derailed an effective thriller but work because the talented actors put you in a terrifying world without resorting to exploitation tactics.

Yes, as this is a TV movie, it is (thankfully) quite restrained, although it remains gripping throughout. The overall film is suspenseful and unsettling and written in a way that makes Suzy incredibly likeable and reasonable despite her outrageous situation. The late Raffin was always a strong leading lady, and she brings just as much sympathy to her character here as she did in Nightmare in Badham County, both of which feature the actress in really dark and seemingly impossible situations.

Ackroyd is fantastic as well, and makes a great love interest for Raffin. Their blossoming romance doesn’t deter from the psychic focus of the film, but it provides a nice break between all the bleak and peculiar. Also, Robert Englund shows up as Ackroyd’s workmate, making me wonder if The Bald Man vs. Freddy Kruger could ever be a thing. Ah, to dream!

Director Ivan Nagy also made the excellent but also difficult to watch A Gun in the House (1981), and the decent thriller Jane Doe (1983) before he moved into adult films with titles such as Trailer Trash Teri and Izzy Sleeze’s Casting Couch Cuties. Oh my! He was also associated with Heidi Fleiss and served time for bookmaking. His infamy might outlive his small screen merits, but he did turn in some solid little TVMs in his day. Mind Over Murder is one such film.

Mind Over Murder is currently streaming on Amazon Instant Video. Watch it!!! 

Nature's Fury Blogathon: Ants (aka It Happened at Lakewood Manor, 1977)

Network: ABC 
Original Airdate: December 2nd, 1977 

Before I start any review, I always conduct cursory research on my chosen film and hope for the best. Some of the most famous TV movies have little to no information, and sometimes the most obscure movies pull up all kinds of stuff (Dude, I can read all about Sorority Kill even if I can’t watch it). Associated Press was a fickle beast is all I will say about it. And then, I’m just Googling-along all innocent-like for info on Ants, and one of the first returns is SUZANNE SOMERS BREASTS ANTS! Well, that just about sums up what is arguably the most iconic scene in Ants (aka It Happened at Lakewood Manor). But let’s be honest, Ants ain’t exactly rife with “iconic” images; however, it is certainly well regarded, and well remembered by those who caught it when they were young enough to accept some of the more ludicrous moments. Upon a recent rewatch of Ants for this review, I found that the film is even more delightful than I remembered. Crazy and inconceivable for sure, but also a bit darker in tone than I was expecting and a little icky too.

The plot is as straightforward as they come: When a construction site accidentally unearths a swarm of poisonous ants during a dig, nearby Lakewood Manor is overrun by the little guys. Chaos ensues.

Well, OK, so there’s a lot of melodrama in there too. This is what we call character development, and some of it is clunky and awkward, especially anything with Ethel, played by the great Myrna Loy. Now, I’ve seen Myrna in a few TV movies and she’s generally a treat (Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate and The Elevator are two great examples), but it’s obvious that she was not into the material. However, the main stars Lynda Day George and Robert Foxworth make the most of what’s been given to them, and I actually felt invested in watching them crawl out of that hotel shaped anthill with all their lovely bits intact.

Most of the subplots are romance driven, which is always a plus for my starry-eyed inclinations. For example, Valerie (George) and Mike (Foxworth... or Foxy-worth as I have been known to call him), who make one of the most gorgeous made up couples ever, are interested in getting Valerie’s mom, Ethel to sell Lakewood Manor so they can move to San Francisco and live happily ever after... and send her mom packing to Florida. There’s also a pretty and hippie-ish drifter named Linda (Karen Lamm) who is tired of life on the road and hooks up with OMG gorgeous Richard (Barry Van Dyke), and love instantly blossoms. Heck, even the construction inspector (Anita Gillette) seems to have a bit of chemistry with the ant expert (Bruce French)!

And, if it isn’t about falling in love, it’s about the end of love, such as the story with Marjorie (Barbara Brownell) who is staying at the Manor with her son, Tommy (the forever adorable Moosie Drier) as she recovers from a divorce. And, of course no epic TV movie about insect invasions is complete without a little sinful love, and we get that with Miss Antsonbreasts herself, Gloria (Somers) and the evil Tony (Gerald Gordon) who is obviously lecherous and easily tagged as the guy who’s going to mess everything up. He does it in a spectacular fashion though, so all is forgiven. See, TV movies have never been about subtlety, which works in the favor of this compact, and economical little disaster/insect amok flick.

But, despite all of the romantic shenanigans, audiences really showed for the creepy-crawly treachery, and it is done very well. While I miss the Empire of the Ants ant-cam, there’s plenty of up close vermin shots, and lots of brave actors let those buggers crawl all over them (the above referenced Somers to name but one). And no one is safe from potential victimization. There’s a great scene with Tommy frantically jumping into a pool even though he can’t swim because he’s covered in coffee grounds… er, I mean... ants. Yikes.

There is also a fantastic firetruck ladder stunt, which leads to an OK helicopter stunt that ends with a horde obnoxious stunt onlookers finding themselves in the line of fire. At this point, I was definitely rooting for the ants.

The ant expert gives us the lowdown on why the ants are out for blood: buried for years, these insects have sucked up all of the toxins we humans have tried to entomb and hide away within the earth. Yes, humans are pretty much to blame for everything, so I’ll buy it. But, then we are told these ants, which have already killed at least two people and injured a few more, aren’t aggressive if you are just real still. So, then we get a shot of three actors sitting motionless with little tubes (made out of 1970s wallpaper!) in their mouths so they can breathe. I remember when I first saw this as an adult and I wondered if it was really so hard to step on them and just leave? But, ludicrous is part and parcel for our little insect amok flicks, and I’ve learned to take my ant havoc with a grain of salt. Wait, doesn’t salt kill ants? Hmmm, maybe they could have done that?

In the confident hands of journeyman TV director Robert Scheerer (Changing Scene, Poor Devil and tons of episodic fare), and with a script by TV movie veteran Guerdon Trueblood (The Love War, Sole Survivor, and Ants' companion Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo), and thanks to the actors who wanted to be there (and also to Myrna for just showing up cuz I still love her so), Ants is a good reminder that even if a telefilm doesn’t get under your skin (ha!) television factory filmmaking was often much better than it should have been.

This review is part of Cinematic Catharsis's excellent Nature's Fury Blogathon! Check out more of the reviews here and here. 

Jeepers Creepers! TV Features! A Retrospective on Classic Made for Television Movies and the Halloween Season, Part III (1977-1980)

The witching hour is upon us! Here is part III of my retrospective on classic TVMs made for the creepiest of holiday seasons. (here's are links to part I and part II). This is definitely more treat than trick! Enjoy!

Murder in Peyton Place
Originally aired: October 3, 1977 on NBC
Starring: Dorothy Malone, Ed Nelson, Tim O’Connor

Featuring plenty of familiar faces from the original Peyton Place series, this potboiler focuses on the deaths of the characters Mia Farrow and Ryan O’Neal played in the original. For those who like their Halloween movies served with soap and cheese. (Note: I finally caught up Murder about two summers ago. It's z'oh-right, with some great fashions!)

Killer on Board
Originally aired: October 10, 1977 on NBC
Directed by: Philip Leacock
Starring: Claude Atkins, Patty Duke, George Hamilton

Another Love Boat Gone Bad TVM, except instead of a human face masking a killer, this one involves a deadly virus that is wiping out the roster of familiar actors. And yes, George Hamilton is still very tan.

The Night They Took Miss Beautiful
Originally aired: October 24, 1977 on NBC
Directed by: Robert Michael Lewis
Starring: Chuck Connors, Gary Collins, Sheree North, Victoria Principal

Some lucky criminals who hijack a plane carrying products for chemical warfare also end up abducting five hot beauty contestants! Wow, sometimes crime does pay! Beautiful women, a grand heist and polyester, Night is certainly silly but is so well-intentioned with genuine performances that it’s hard not to enjoy this honest little effort. (Note: I finally saw this one about 2 summers ago, and it's definitely worth catching. Check it out on Amazon Instant Video)

KISS Meets Phantom of the Park
Originally aired: October 28, 1978 on NBC
Directed by: Gordon Hessler
Starring: KISS, Anthony Zerbe

Simply the most over-the-top film on the list, KISS plays a band charmed with special powers. Exactly what these powers do is beyond me, but when Gene Simmons sneers the word "Starfire" as a star shoots out of his eyes and onto a lovely girl’s face, you know you’re in for some real good stuff! The story is basically about a mad scientist played by Anthony Zerbe, employed by Six Flags Magic Mountain, who creates some of the most realistic robots ever made. They’re so realistic in fact, you’d swear they were real. When Zerbe’s assistant catches wind of his sinister plan, he becomes a robot too. Enter the assistant’s girlfriend, Melissa (Deborah Ryan), who enlists the help of KISS, who just happen to be performing there, to help her solve the mystery.

Produced by Joseph Barbera of Hanna-Barbera fame, and featuring many of same sound effects they used in their cartoons, Phantom is a pretty great time capsule. Lots of awkward teens dress like their idols and prance around Six Flags with abandon. My favorite scene features the late Brion James as a biker harassing other Six Flag tourists. I also love the scene where KISS is performing “Beth” as someone tampers with their powers…

Devil Dog: The Hound 0f Hell
Originally aired: October 31, 1978 on CBS
Directed by: Curtis Harrington
Starring: Yvette Mimieux, Richard Crenna, Kim Richards, Ike Eisenmann

Crenna and Mimieux pick up a nasty little dog who is more interested in doing evil bidding for his ultimate master than playing catch. An odd choice for director Harrington (Who Slew Auntie Roo?), this ludicrous idea is livened by good acting and a sense of fun, making this movie just like Halloween candy, sweet and empty, but always a treat.

Stranger in Our House (aka Summer of Fear)
Originally aired: October 31, 1978 for NBC
Directed by: Wes Craven
Starring: Linda Blair, Jeff East, Lee Purcell

When you think of Wes Craven, you don’t necessarily think of TV Movies, but Craven gave the small screen three pretty good horror films, Invitation to Hell, the superb Chiller and this awesome little potboiler. A frizzy headed Blair plays the spunky heroine who fights for her family’s survival when her creepy cousin, Julia (Lee Purcell) moves in. Seems Blair is the only one who can see through Julia’s bewitching personality but it might be too late. Now, how did Blair see anything through all that hair?!? (click on title for review)

Vampire 
Originally aired: October 7, 1979 on ABC
Directed by: E.W. Swackhamer
Starring: Richard Lynch, Jason Miller, E.G. Marshall

A modern day vampire yarn featuring Richard Lynch as the seductive bloodsucker stalking innocent prey through the streets of San Francisco. Vampire is most notable for being co-written by prolific cop show creator Steven Bochco! It’s also a lush and gothic horror film that gives Richard Lynch a well-deserved chance at showing off his sexy side. Strangely enough, it works.

The Death of Ocean View Park
Originally aired: October 19, 1979 for ABC
Directed by: E.W. Swackhamer
Starring: Diana Canova, Martin Landau, Mike Connors

Neato! A Swackhamer double header (see above)! He also directed this disaster-of-the-week melodrama with a twist; a real park was demolished for the fictional hurricane. All in the name of art, right? Lots of familiar faces run around in a total panic, which is always fun.

Disaster on the Coastliner
Originally aired: October 28, 1979 for ABC
Directed by: Richard C. Sarafian
Starring: Lloyd Bridges, Raymond Burr, William Shatner

A disgruntled railway employee arranges for two oncoming trains on the same path to collide, unless his unscrupulous employer admits that they were fully responsible for a similar collision which killed the vengeful man’s wife and child. The resentful widower is played by Paul Smith who was Bluto in Robert Altman’s Popeye! Maybe it’s not edge-of-your-seat, but Disaster remains a great and fabulous popcorn thriller.

Revenge of the Stepford Wives 
Originally aired: October 12, 1980 on NBC
Directed by: Robert Fuest
Starring: Sharon Gless, Julie Kavner, Don Johnson

Veering slightly from the original Stepford Wives and skipping out on most of the satire, Revenge does offer a nice, strong female spin. Entertaining, if not particularly scary, Sharon Gless plays a reporter doing a story on the town of Stepford, a place with little divorce and even less crime. She befriends Julie Kavner, the only other woman in town who possesses an interesting personality. Little by little, Gless begins to unravel the mysteries behind the idyllic Stepford but she may be in too deep to go back. Revenge does offer the women of Stepford a chance to dish out some well deserved comeuppance but is even more far-fetched than the original, and might even be a little crazier than The Stepford Children but not nearly as crazy as The Stepford Husbands. (Update: This series needs some serious reevaluation. Is Husbands really crazier than Children?!? I must find out!)

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
Originally aired: October 31, 1980 on NBC
Directed by: Henning Schellerup
Starring: Jeff Goldblum, Paul Sand, Meg Foster

Basically a creepy horror movie made for kids, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow was a great way to end the 70s and bring fans of TVMs into the next decade. A pretty close adaptation of the Washington Irving classic, Goldblum is perfectly cast as Ichabod Crane and although it lacks in scares, there is still something so sinister about the Headless Horseman, and it naturally evokes terror in the audience, however slight.

Read Part I
Read Part II

Happy Halloween, ya'll!