End of Year Stuff... and 2017 Goals!

Sometimes you can't go Home for the Holidays again!

So, for the last 100 years or so I've been writing at least one annual holiday post for my blog. I do it because it gets me in the spirit and because it gives me an excuse to watch Petticoat Junction and Vega$. But, life as a social media mogul sometimes has to take a backseat when reality gets in the way... and like sands through the hourglass, so our the days of our lives.

In short, time got the best of me.

One day I'll stop posting pics of this... but it's so cool!

As you may have seen in one of my recent posts, my forthcoming book, Are You in the House Alone? A TV Movie Compendium: 1964-1999 had its launch at Monster Fest in Melbourne, Australia. So, off I went to worlds down under to participate in a very fun panel about made for television movies. I made a ton of great friends, put some faces to a lot of people I've been talking to in the online world, and in general, I had a blast.

(Btw, Birth.Movies.Death gave the book an excellent review. I have no words, just a lot of gratitude and thanks.)

Here's a peek at what the giant theater screen behind the panelists look like!

My first thought when I returned was, "Hey, I am going to get some down time and can go back to blogging and maybe even sleeping!" But I forgot that the fine folks at the Hysteria Continues asked me to join them for their Christmas horror episode, so we could dish on the holiday slasher To All a Goodnight. Good times were had by all.

And, then I got a request to do an interview for my publisher, Headpress' website. That was a lot of fun as well and when I finished I thought, "OK, I have some time to decompress and maybe watch a TV movie and write about it!"

Around this time, I also got the news that my essay on the made for television movie Locusts has been published in the amazing nature-gone-crazy tome When Animals Attack! So, I spent some time perusing the material and it's absolutely fantastic! Editor Vanessa Morgan did an incredible job. Grab a copy! When I finished looking at the book, I let out a satisfied sigh of relief and declared: "Here's my chance... watch something, Amanda!"

Then, I found out that Kier-La Janisse, she of Monster Fest, was hoping to put together something about TV movies to help promote the book (and TV movies in general, cuz she's cool that way) at her Miskatonic Institute of Horror Studies in London, which I sort of volunteered for and which she was kind enough to accept! That event, titled Tele-terrors: The Real and Imagined Horrors Inside the Made for Television Movie will be held April 20th, 2017. If you are in the area, please mark your calendars and stop by for all kinds of small screen goodness!

This is essentially me pouting when I realized I was running out of  blogging time... if I were glamorous

And, before I knew it, it was late December and I hadn't had time to watch a single thing. I did, however, record a holiday-themed podcast with the usual crew, and returning guest, the wonderful Joanna Wilson of Christmas TV History. Finally, I decided to just make a list of links to all of my previous Christmas TVM/specials reviews and holiday-themed podcasts. If you haven't had a chance to check any of these out, and think they may get you in the holiday spirit, please clickity click click and/or download and enjoy!

Free stuff is fun.

Read my Very Merry MeTV Blogathon posts:

Kojak: How Cruel the Frost, How Bright the Stars
Father Dowling Mysteries: A Christmas Mystery

And check out my holday reviews:

A Mouse, a Mystery and Me
An American Christmas Carol
A Very Brady Christmas
Bernard and the Genie
Ebbie
Petticoat Junction: A Cannonball Christmas
Terror on the 40th Floor

Here's a guest review from Joanna Wilson of Christmas TV History:

The Gathering

I returned the favor with  a guest review for Joanna:

Nestor, The Long Eared Christmas Donkey
I also joined her for the 2014 Christmas TV Party!

Finally, The Made for TV Mayhem Show has recorded a total of three holiday podcasts. You can check them out on here:

Home for the Holidays and A Very Brady Christmas: website | iTunes
Bernard and the Genie: website | iTunes
The Christmas TV Movie Game Show: website | iTunes

Happy New Year?

So, what does all of this mean for 2017? Well, there should be a lot of good stuff happening outside of my blog during the first half of the year (or at least the first third), and I'm so excited about it. I can't even tell you how whirlwind and exciting the last few months have been. But, in the end I just really want those who are interested in TV movies to enjoy the book. The promotional end of things is definitely fun because I have been meeting a lot of telefilm fans, and just some genuinely awesome people. But I miss my blog.

I miss it so much.

Before I can jump back in though, I need a small break. I mean a real one. And I'm hoping the time between... uh... today and the beginning of 2017 will give me a chance to become one with the couch. If I don't gain 5 pounds, I've failed. As the cobwebs disintegrate I plan to get back on that horse and do a bit of blogging.

Not sure why it's so important to me, but it is and if I'm gonna make a resolution, it might as well be to do something I love anyway!

In short, everyone have an amazing holiday and see you in 2017!

A Christmas Present for Everyone: Robert Urich in Winter Wear in Vega$!

I was hoping to get in my annual holiday post, and thought that there was no better way to celebrate the season than with a gorgeous Robert Urich wearing a bunch of incredible sweaters!

I know, I know. Christmas cheer for everyone!

Don't worry, Dan Tana. We also love you for your mind.

The Vega$ episode Christmas Story originally aired on December 17th, 1980, and places Dan Tana in the middle of small town seasonal mystery and intrigue when he takes his girlfriend Rocket (the lovely Lindsay Bloom) to what looks like a cozy ski resort just outside of Reno, only to be greeted by a young girl claiming to be his daughter! Is he the father? Where is her mother? Who will survive and what will be left of them?

Does it matter, because Urich looks oh-so-heavenly in his array of colorful sweaters, scarves and ski wear. Luckily, this episode of Vega$ is really quite sweet, so if you can get past the drooling over Urich stage, you are in for a treat!

Check out my image gallery, and happy holidays!

Looking for more small screen Christmas offerings? Check out the following:

My Very Merry MeTV Blogathon posts:

Kojak: How Cruel the Frost, How Bright the Stars
Father Dowling Mysteries: A Christmas Mystery

And my reviews of:

A Mouse, a Mystery and Me
An American Christmas Carol
A Very Brady Christmas
Bernard and the Genie
Ebbie
Petticoat Junction: A Cannonball Christmas
Terror on the 40th Floor

A guest review post from Joanna Wilson of Christmas TV History:

The Gathering

I also did a guest review I did for Christmas TV History:

Nestor, The Long Eared Christmas Donkey

Finally, The Made for TV Mayhem Show recorded two holiday podcasts. You can check them out on the website, or via iTunes.

A Very Merry MeTV Blogathon: Kojak: How Cruel the Frost, How Bright the Stars

This blog post is part of A Very Merry MeTV Blogathon hosted by The Classic TV Blog Association. Check out the blogathon schedule here and make sure to check out all of the great MeTV holiday programming here!

Call me crazy, but I normally do not associate Christmas season programming with gritty cop dramas. I’m funny that way. Luckily, my hesitancy was quickly put to rest just a few minutes into Kojak’s How Cruel the Frost, How Bright the Stars, which manages to capture all of the bleakness of a holiday in a crime ridden city while also catching some of the magic of hope and happiness that permeates the season.

The depressing setting of a NYC police department is brightened up slightly by a Christmas Eve party, but these cops aren’t going to be drinking spiked eggnog tonight, as they are all on duty and covering several potentially dangerous situations. Kojak (Telly Savalas) is on the lookout for a man who randomly shot at a pretty and sassy brunette in a low rent bar, one of his underlings who is mourning the death of his wife has developed an itchy trigger finger on a stakeout, and Detective Stavros (Telly’s brother George Savalas) is looking after a privileged but kindhearted heiress who thinks her unemployed boyfriend might commit a crime so he can afford to give her an extravagant gift. Although all lives do not perfectly collide on the eve of Christmas, there are strange intersections where love and is both captured and lost, and Telly ends the episode proclaiming to the streets of New York City, “Love thy neighbor, baby!"

Preach.

Abby Mann, who created Kojak, was no stranger to courting social dramas and was probably most famous for writing Judgment at Nuremberg. He won an Emmy for his Kojak pilot TVM script, The Marcus Nelson Murders, and the series became a staple of television for five seasons, running from 1973-1978. Granted, it was often full of a stark sense of gloom and doom, but that melancholy was punctuated by brilliant dialog and a masterful performance by Savalas, who commanded every frame he appeared in.

According to Savalas, he wasn’t acting at all. In an interview he remarked, “Savalas and Kojak - we’re the same guy. Hey, you think it’s going to be different, baby, you’re wrong. You don’t walk onto a TV set and create a character like me in five minutes. Even I know that. I have to be Telly. I have to play myself by whatever name. Otherwise, I’m in trouble.”

And boy, was Savalas great at being himself. The character of Theo Kojak charmed his way into our living rooms, and left us with that fantastic tagline, “Who loves ya, baby?” which can apparently be used for people you actually care about or criminals, depending on your situation. Kojak's got your back... uh, baby!

And, the supporting cast was just as good. I remember Kojak introduced me to Kevin Dobson, who I would later fall in love with on Knots Landing. In this holiday episode you can also grab an early look at both John Larroquette (credited as Sailor) and Veronica Hamel who plays a woman much too young for the lollipop addict. But mostly, Kojak is matched up with the ready-to-party Loretta (Jesse Welles), who, despite her superficial veneer of living a life of dances that never end, finds her own bit of sadness amongst the falling snow and Latin music.

Originally airing on December 21, 1975, this episode might have been one of the more poignant looks at Christmas that year. And certainly one of the most memorable. Catch Kojak on MeTV tonight (December 9) at 9 PM EST and PST and 8 PM CST and MST. I promise, he will love ya, baby!

A Very Merry Me TV Blogathon: Father Dowling Mysteries: The Christmas Mystery

This blog post is part of A Very Merry MeTV Blogathon hosted by The Classic TV Blog Association. Check out the blogathon schedule here and make sure to check out all of the great MeTV holiday programming here!

Although it doesn’t capture the milieu to a T, I always considered Father Dowling Mysteries to be a part of the cozy mystery movement of the late 1980s. Of course, Jessica Fletcher of Murder, She Wrote, the rebel and trendsetter that she is, gave America a nice antidote to the glitzier, neon-soaked detective shows of the same era. I’m not saying she’s the first to serve murder with a comforting cup of tea, but she certainly set the tone that would be followed by a lot of fun small screen sleuthing. Matlock and Diagnosis Murder were two other ridiculously popular shows that veered slightly from the formula, but still managed to make murder and mayhem seem like a warm crocheted blanket. Father Dowling also had all of the right ingredients to knock it out of the park (and even featured MSW regular Tom Bosley who exchanged his sheriff’s badge in Cabot Cove for cleric gear in Chicago). With its untroubled tempo, church setting and laid back “Let the Father do the driving” mystery stories, Dowling was an underrated charmer. But because of a galdurn writer’s strike and a network switch, the good Father was lost in the scheduling shuffle and ended after 3 seasons (the first two only half seasons), producing 42 episodes.

The setting and occupation of the main characters made a Christmas episode either the most obvious idea ever, or the worst thing that could happen (depending on your threshold for murder on the holiest of holy days). Luckily for fans of Father Dowling, it was done just right, with an attempted murder, a couple of pistol packing Santas, and the amiable and capable Nun-named-Steve keeping watch over a trouble little boy. The holiday was in full swing, and it was good times indeed.  

The Christmas Mystery, which originally aired on December 13, 1990 on ABC, opens with the season going strong, and the local department store desperate for holiday help. So fraught in fact, that they will hire you on the spot and put you on the sales floor immediately, or, apparently make you a security guard and hand you a gun! Single mother Wendy (Anne Kerry Ford) is desperate for work and relieved that the store wants her to start straightway, but she’s due to pick up her shy son, Brian (played by twins Christian and Joseph Cousins) from the airport. She asks Father Dowling for some assistance and he sends Steve (the completely adorable Tracy Nelson) on her way to retrieve Brian. However, while Wendy is changing for work, a security guard from the store knocks on her door, insinuates that the two have met somewhere previously, and then shoots her point blank!

Merry Christmas, right?

Back at the church, everyone becomes worried about Wendy and through a series of random, only-on-television events, Steve ends up stepping in for Wendy at the store. Steve does two things while she’s there: 1. Fix a doll for a kindly old woman, and 2. Sniffs out a Santa with a gun! This girl is on it, they should hire her full time! Meanwhile, Dowling visits Wendy’s home and finds her sprawled on the floor, possibly at death’s door. But while connecting the pistol-packing Santa to Wendy may seem like a stretch that can only happen with the greatest of faith, Father Dowling and company are on the case, and should have things wrapped up just in time for gift giving!

Fast, good-natured and perhaps a little trivial (in a good way), The Christmas Mystery is absolutely delightful, and must be viewed with a cup of eggnog and a cat snuggled at your feet. Strife has never been so fun, easy and overloaded with major shoulder pads!

This episode may stand out to small screen connoisseurs for a few different reasons. The Christmas Mystery was written by the great Brian Clemens, who gave us The Avengers, and the excellent British anthology series Thriller (check out my review for Dial a Deadly Number). If anyone can spin a twist, even a mild one, into something substantial, and even menacing, Clemens is the one. When it is revealed how Wendy knows her attacker and how her son is involved, there’s a great “GULP” moment. And even though it’s followed by a mediocre maybe-chase that ends in a storage room, the thrill is still there.

The Christmas Mystery was also directed by TV stalwart James Frawley who is probably best known for directing the bulk of The Monkees brilliant two-season run. There’s no psychedelic chaos here, but it is wonderfully paced and kept light as air with fun performances and a few interesting set pieces. But what kind of retro TV blogger would I be if I didn’t sing the praises of Tom Bosley who was one of the friendliest faces of 1980s television! From Mr. C to Amos Tupper to Father Dowling, Bosley was always a sight for sore eyes and a great treat to watch. Although, I would have to say this is really Nelson’s episode. Steve throws herself into the mix, never loses her cool and although Dowling inevitably saves the day, I’m pretty sure Steve could have done the same.  

The Christmas Mystery is airing tonight (December 7th) at 9 PM EST and PST and 8 PM CST and MST on MeTV, so grab your eggnog and favorite kitty, and enjoy!

Jeepers Creepers! TV Features! A Retrospective on Classic Made for Television Movies and the Halloween Season, Part III (1977-1980)

The witching hour is upon us! Here is part III of my retrospective on classic TVMs made for the creepiest of holiday seasons. (here's are links to part I and part II). This is definitely more treat than trick! Enjoy!

Murder in Peyton Place
Originally aired: October 3, 1977 on NBC
Starring: Dorothy Malone, Ed Nelson, Tim O’Connor

Featuring plenty of familiar faces from the original Peyton Place series, this potboiler focuses on the deaths of the characters Mia Farrow and Ryan O’Neal played in the original. For those who like their Halloween movies served with soap and cheese. (Note: I finally caught up Murder about two summers ago. It's z'oh-right, with some great fashions!)

Killer on Board
Originally aired: October 10, 1977 on NBC
Directed by: Philip Leacock
Starring: Claude Atkins, Patty Duke, George Hamilton

Another Love Boat Gone Bad TVM, except instead of a human face masking a killer, this one involves a deadly virus that is wiping out the roster of familiar actors. And yes, George Hamilton is still very tan.

The Night They Took Miss Beautiful
Originally aired: October 24, 1977 on NBC
Directed by: Robert Michael Lewis
Starring: Chuck Connors, Gary Collins, Sheree North, Victoria Principal

Some lucky criminals who hijack a plane carrying products for chemical warfare also end up abducting five hot beauty contestants! Wow, sometimes crime does pay! Beautiful women, a grand heist and polyester, Night is certainly silly but is so well-intentioned with genuine performances that it’s hard not to enjoy this honest little effort. (Note: I finally saw this one about 2 summers ago, and it's definitely worth catching. Check it out on Amazon Instant Video)

KISS Meets Phantom of the Park
Originally aired: October 28, 1978 on NBC
Directed by: Gordon Hessler
Starring: KISS, Anthony Zerbe

Simply the most over-the-top film on the list, KISS plays a band charmed with special powers. Exactly what these powers do is beyond me, but when Gene Simmons sneers the word "Starfire" as a star shoots out of his eyes and onto a lovely girl’s face, you know you’re in for some real good stuff! The story is basically about a mad scientist played by Anthony Zerbe, employed by Six Flags Magic Mountain, who creates some of the most realistic robots ever made. They’re so realistic in fact, you’d swear they were real. When Zerbe’s assistant catches wind of his sinister plan, he becomes a robot too. Enter the assistant’s girlfriend, Melissa (Deborah Ryan), who enlists the help of KISS, who just happen to be performing there, to help her solve the mystery.

Produced by Joseph Barbera of Hanna-Barbera fame, and featuring many of same sound effects they used in their cartoons, Phantom is a pretty great time capsule. Lots of awkward teens dress like their idols and prance around Six Flags with abandon. My favorite scene features the late Brion James as a biker harassing other Six Flag tourists. I also love the scene where KISS is performing “Beth” as someone tampers with their powers…

Devil Dog: The Hound 0f Hell
Originally aired: October 31, 1978 on CBS
Directed by: Curtis Harrington
Starring: Yvette Mimieux, Richard Crenna, Kim Richards, Ike Eisenmann

Crenna and Mimieux pick up a nasty little dog who is more interested in doing evil bidding for his ultimate master than playing catch. An odd choice for director Harrington (Who Slew Auntie Roo?), this ludicrous idea is livened by good acting and a sense of fun, making this movie just like Halloween candy, sweet and empty, but always a treat.

Stranger in Our House (aka Summer of Fear)
Originally aired: October 31, 1978 for NBC
Directed by: Wes Craven
Starring: Linda Blair, Jeff East, Lee Purcell

When you think of Wes Craven, you don’t necessarily think of TV Movies, but Craven gave the small screen three pretty good horror films, Invitation to Hell, the superb Chiller and this awesome little potboiler. A frizzy headed Blair plays the spunky heroine who fights for her family’s survival when her creepy cousin, Julia (Lee Purcell) moves in. Seems Blair is the only one who can see through Julia’s bewitching personality but it might be too late. Now, how did Blair see anything through all that hair?!? (click on title for review)

Vampire 
Originally aired: October 7, 1979 on ABC
Directed by: E.W. Swackhamer
Starring: Richard Lynch, Jason Miller, E.G. Marshall

A modern day vampire yarn featuring Richard Lynch as the seductive bloodsucker stalking innocent prey through the streets of San Francisco. Vampire is most notable for being co-written by prolific cop show creator Steven Bochco! It’s also a lush and gothic horror film that gives Richard Lynch a well-deserved chance at showing off his sexy side. Strangely enough, it works.

The Death of Ocean View Park
Originally aired: October 19, 1979 for ABC
Directed by: E.W. Swackhamer
Starring: Diana Canova, Martin Landau, Mike Connors

Neato! A Swackhamer double header (see above)! He also directed this disaster-of-the-week melodrama with a twist; a real park was demolished for the fictional hurricane. All in the name of art, right? Lots of familiar faces run around in a total panic, which is always fun.

Disaster on the Coastliner
Originally aired: October 28, 1979 for ABC
Directed by: Richard C. Sarafian
Starring: Lloyd Bridges, Raymond Burr, William Shatner

A disgruntled railway employee arranges for two oncoming trains on the same path to collide, unless his unscrupulous employer admits that they were fully responsible for a similar collision which killed the vengeful man’s wife and child. The resentful widower is played by Paul Smith who was Bluto in Robert Altman’s Popeye! Maybe it’s not edge-of-your-seat, but Disaster remains a great and fabulous popcorn thriller.

Revenge of the Stepford Wives 
Originally aired: October 12, 1980 on NBC
Directed by: Robert Fuest
Starring: Sharon Gless, Julie Kavner, Don Johnson

Veering slightly from the original Stepford Wives and skipping out on most of the satire, Revenge does offer a nice, strong female spin. Entertaining, if not particularly scary, Sharon Gless plays a reporter doing a story on the town of Stepford, a place with little divorce and even less crime. She befriends Julie Kavner, the only other woman in town who possesses an interesting personality. Little by little, Gless begins to unravel the mysteries behind the idyllic Stepford but she may be in too deep to go back. Revenge does offer the women of Stepford a chance to dish out some well deserved comeuppance but is even more far-fetched than the original, and might even be a little crazier than The Stepford Children but not nearly as crazy as The Stepford Husbands. (Update: This series needs some serious reevaluation. Is Husbands really crazier than Children?!? I must find out!)

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
Originally aired: October 31, 1980 on NBC
Directed by: Henning Schellerup
Starring: Jeff Goldblum, Paul Sand, Meg Foster

Basically a creepy horror movie made for kids, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow was a great way to end the 70s and bring fans of TVMs into the next decade. A pretty close adaptation of the Washington Irving classic, Goldblum is perfectly cast as Ichabod Crane and although it lacks in scares, there is still something so sinister about the Headless Horseman, and it naturally evokes terror in the audience, however slight.

Read Part I
Read Part II

Happy Halloween, ya'll! 

Must See Streaming TV Movie of the Week: A Very Brady Christmas (1988)

As an antidote to the tumultuous sixties, the original Brady Bunch series planted itself deeply into the roots of the fifties suburban dream as seen on shows like The Donna Reed Show and Leave it to Beaver. At the time it was never popular enough to enter into the top ten Nielsen ratings, but persevered for five wonderful seasons without ever stepping one foot outside of Pleasantville, USA and it became a foundation for kids, like myself, who saw this perfect family as a way to escape the tumult that followed us into the eighties and beyond. Like Star Trek, and the Monkees, The Brady Bunch took on a life of its own and became a phenomenon that still packs a sentimental punch today. Losing Ann B. Davis earlier this year only served to re-remind us that all that sap and romanticism was still there, and we still love it.

A Very Brady Christmas is one of the few holiday movies I make time for every year, and with the Bradys especially fresh on my mind because of Ann, it seemed like the perfect TV movie to review this season. Critically speaking, this Christmas TVM was a bit of a bust, but it was also ratings gold, ranking at number 2 in the Nielsens for the week. Also, for fans, it reignited our love for the makeshift family of eight (and Alice!), and knowing their audience, the reunion movie maintains much of the softness of the original series… with just a touch of an edge, testing the waters for the short-lived new Brady series which aired in 1990, proving that you can’t keep a good sitcom down (a sitcom turned soapy drama, not so much).

A Very Brady Christmas begins with Mike and Carol living alone in the same house, but made perfectly 80s, including two exercise bikes and a rowing machine in the den that the kids used to run amok in. So, it’s different, but still as comfortable as that warm blanket I snuggle up with when I watch this movie. Each spouse is planning a Christmas vacation for the other, but realize that the holidays are best when the whole family can get together, and the reunion is underway! The first to return is Alice, who was recently dumped by Sam the Butcher (this is probably the one part of the movie I take any real issue with… I mean it’s a Brady movie and I’m forgiving, but breaking Alice’s heart is so not cool). Alice moves back in and insists on putting her maid outfit on despite the fact that she no longer works for the family (a characteristic that would disturb me if it were any other show). Then, we find out what’s happened to all the kids. Here is your checklist:

• Marsha, still gorgeous, is now a housewife and mother (kind of a disappointment considering she seemed like she was doing really well in the fashion industry when she met Wally in The Brady Brides). 

• Greg is now a doctor and is married to the New Gidget! Pretty cool.

• Jan is still working as an architect, and is still married to stuffed-shirt Phillip, who I love more than life itself! But now that he’s gone from associate professor to a full time academic things have become strained between the two. 

• Peter is a business guy who is also in a relationship with his female boss. I believe his swinging lifestyle will come into play in The Bradys (time to revisit that show!). 

• Cindy is about to finish college and looks an awful lot like Jennifer Runyon (according to IMDb, Susan Olsen couldn’t make the reunion because she was getting married). 

• Finally, Bobby is experiencing life in the fast lane…literally. He’s now a racecar driver, but has yet to tell his parents (I remember in The Bradys he marries Martha Quinn and suffers some serious injuries in a racecar crash… the drama). 

As we can see, everyone is still so Brady, but enduring their own dramas. Of course, once the family gets together, fuggedaboudit! Saccharine induced awesomeness commences!

Robert Reed, who had a fairly public love/hate relationship with the series really enjoyed the reunion and stated in an interview, “I haven’t had this much fun in ages. We really are like a family, as corny as that sounds.”

I guess corny is the keyword here, but if you reserve any tenderness for the Bradys, this movie hits all the right goofy beats. Admittedly, I always get slightly verklempt when the family belts out O Come All Ye Faithful while standing vigilant around the collapsed building Mr. Brady is trapped inside. There, I said it.

A definite holiday classic, A Very Brady Christmas is streaming on Hulu!

Interested in more small screen holiday classics? Read these reviews:

An American Christmas Carol
Petticoat Junction: A Cannonball Christmas
Ebbie
The Gathering (a guest review by Joanna Wilson from Christmas TV History)
Bernard and the Genie
A Mouse, A Mystery and Me
Terror on the 40th Floor

Happy Holidays!