Big Stars on the Small Screen Blogathon: Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate (1971)

This review was written in conjunction with How Sweet It Was' tribute to the Big Stars on the Small Screen!  Let's roll... 

Network: ABC
Original Air Date: November 9th, 1971

Last year, when I wrote about The Screaming Woman,  I mentioned Walter Pidgeon’s observations on the older actor in Hollywood during the golden age of the TV movie (that’s the 1970s for you whippersnappers). According to Pidgeon, actors of a certain age found great difficulties finding good parts in the movies. Television beckoned these theatrical stalwarts and many found a new home on the small screen. Unfortunately, some of these actors were unhappy with the content they were saddled with. Granted, The Screaming Woman isn’t the greatest film ever made, but it’s good and the classic stars are wonderful in their parts, de Havilland in particular. For actors then (and now) it boils down to finding those special moments with which to shine. The actresses in Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate practically fell into a goldmine because the smart script affords them so many wonderful opportunities to strut their stuff.

Based on the novel by Doris Miles Disney, Spindle is the tale of four older women who spend their days drinking, gossiping and sometimes, just to keep things exciting, they pull an outlandish prank or two. This time, the ladies are creating the perfect young woman (a tall, willowy blonde they've named Rebecca Mead), and turning in her questionnaire to a local computer dating company. The hope is that they will receive a few amusing letters from potential suitors, which they do. Unfortunately, they also lure a psychopath who accidentally mistakes another woman for the fictional one and kills her in a fit of sexually frustrated rage.

Whoopsie.

Shot in 12 days (!), this brisk ABC Movie of the Week is absolutely charming, thanks to the four female leads: Helen Hayes, Mildred Natwick, Myrna Loy and Sylvia Sidney. All four women were best known as theatrical actresses before they embraced the small screen, finding a new audience in kids like me who loved seeing them in episodic fare and made for TV movies. The women gel together beautifully in a TVM I always considered a precursor to The Golden Girls. Well, if they had less sex and drank a whole lot more (Blanche the lush would have been tremendous fun)!

In an interview to promote the movie, Loy spoke about how much fun the actresses had making Spindle. She said, “There was a lot of laughter on set. Helen Hayes, Mildred Natwick and Sylvia Sidney joined me in having a ball...” In a different interview, Hayes said she was dying to work with Natwick. “I’m Milly’s most ardent admirer," Hayes proclaimed. "That woman made me laugh more than anyone in the theater, anyone since Bea Lillie. Did you see Barefoot in the Park? Did you ever see anyone so funny?” The actresses affection for each other is apparent, and it’s a joy to watch.

While Hayes’ Sophie T. is the star of the show, each lovely lady in this quartet is handed a bevvy of fabulous material. The one-liners are fast and furious, and surprisingly (and in a good way), somewhat restrained. What could easily have seemed like raunchy ladies drowning in blue material is balanced by recognizing that their generation did not have the same open dialogue. There is still talk about what Rebecca Mead is willing to do on a first date, but all of the TVM's jokes are handed down with an air of dignity. Well as dignified as you can be sipping one too many Old-Fashioneds!

I haven’t read the source material by Miles Disney, but John D.F. Black’s adaption is clever, and, at times, laugh-out-loud funny. Some of the best bits of comedy come courtesy of the beleaguered Detective Hallum, played by John Beradino (aka Dr. Steve Hardy on General Hospital!). He has absolutely no idea what to do with these ladies, and they often leave him dumbfounded. Vince Edwards is downright menacing in his portrayal of the psychotically lovelorn Malcolm Watson. Most of what we know about him is delivered through an inner monologue that follows him along his travels. His “little voice” gets crazier as the film progresses, but as off the charts as he gets, he is still not prepared for these four ladies!

Economically directed by the fabulous (and apparently ornery) Ted Post, Spindle landed in the top 20 for the week. Hayes was nominated for an Emmy for her rambunctious portrayal of Sophie T. (Glenda Jackson won that year for her role in the PBS production of the mini-series Elizabeth R.). And, the film is sometimes credited for inspiring the short-lived series The Snoop Sisters, which reunited Hayes and Natwick as eccentric mystery-writing-sisters who find themselves solving real crimes (Hayes said that although The Snoop Sisters was produced after Spindle, they received scripts for that series first). It’s like Murder, She Wrote x 2 and with fur coats. Win.

Ironside: Raise the Devil (1974)

Network: NBC
Original Air Dates: September 12th and 19th, 1974

Following on the coattails of the occult and possession films of the early 1970s, the popular series Ironside mixed their somewhat formulaic procedural drama with pagan witches, exorcisms (well, kinda) and of course, murder. Raise the Devil is a two part episode that features a top notch cast in an eerie and fairly effective wanna-be supernatural story that might have made for a better fit with the scary small screen offerings of the October/Halloween season.

After Lydia Todd (Ruby from General Hospital!) is brutally murdered in her cellar, her gentle young daughter Susan (Sian Barbara Allen) starts giving off some seriously suspicious vibes, refusing to even look at the police, much less Ironside and his band of trusty co-workers. But it’s not like there’s a shortage of suspects. An unseen but recently fired gardener, Susan’s boyfriend Jeff (Michael Anderson Jr.), Lydia’s drunkard husband (Dane Clark) and an overly serious psychiatrist, Dr. Gallin (Bill Bixby looking pretty hot in glasses) fill the roster of maybe-murderers. All of this mystery proves to be too much for Susan and she quickly winds up on the ledge of her mother’s palatial estate, threatening suicide. Ironside doesn’t believe she’s the killer and, while searching for answers he seeks help from a parapsychologist named Justine Cross (Carolyn Jones looking rather fetching with her intense bangs and to-die-for cheekbones). Justine throws another monkey wrench into the fire by suggesting that the spirit of Susan's dead brother may have possessed his sibling. Yikes!

Raise the Devil is half amazing, and half missed potential. Ironside, which was in its eighth and final season, is crisp and gorgeous. The plush modern 70s interiors are simply exquisite. If this episode had just been shots of the set decorations, I still would have been pleased. And, like earlier episodes, the lead cast is thoroughly engaging, even if we only get work-speak and crime busting.

Unfortunately, the story of a maybe-possessed young woman is mostly unfulfilled, bowing down to a safe formula and a few head shaking moments. This is par for the course for 70s TV, so it’s only a mild complaint. I remember the Charlie’s Angels episode The Séance was marginally similar, if a lot more jiggly, and the Kojak episode I Want to Report a Dream also features a psychic connection to a murderer. Personally, I love small screen supernatural mumbo jumbo, but for whatever reason, this one didn’t completely satisfy. It does have Ironside leading a pseudo-exorcism (!), so, it’s not like all is lost (OK, it was more like deprogramming, but work with me). Also, Ironside courts the lovely Justine, and I’ll be honest, I was digging it!

Sian Barbara Allen stepped away from acting in 1990, and has recently surfaced as an author. Sian was always a lovely presence on film, and I found myself hoping that she’d get together with Ed Brown (the gorgeous Don Galloway), but perhaps that was just too much of a fan-fiction-fantasy moment.

Must See Streaming Movie of the Week: Calendar Girl Murders

What can I say, I'm a sucker for a girl in a pretty dress.

The Calendar Girl Murders, which originally aired on April 8th, 1984 on ABC is not a particularly good movie. In fact, it's a little mind-boggling (or a lot, depending on your logic skills). But it's got Sharon Stone looking pretty damn gorgeous and Tom Skerritt proving that men in cardigan sweaters can still kick ass. Plus, Robert Culp shows up to do sexy right. All in all, it's a fun, and oh-so-80s way to kill an evening.

I wrote a capsule review of the The Calendar Girl Murders for Campblood.org eons ago. Please feel free to peruse if you'd like a little more info on this bit of neon-drenched madness! And click here to watch the movie on Netflix. Or you can buy it on DVD at Amazon (and for cheap)!

She Cried Murder (1973)

Network: CBS
Original Air Date: September 25th, 1973

I am always swooning over Christopher George. I suppose I just can’t get enough of his tan and chiseled charms. But while I’ve been busy mooning over Chris’s darkly handsome looks, I seem to have neglected his lovely wife. I honestly adore Lynda Day George, the striking blonde who often appeared alongside Chris in films and television. What an amazingly gorgeous couple.

OK, enough drooling. This is Lynda's moment!

Shot in Toronto, Canada, She Cried Murder is a thriller featuring Lynda as Sarah, a model and recent widow who sees someone murder a woman by pushing her onto the subway tracks. She calls the police but when they arrive to take her statement, she recognizes Inspector Brody (Telly Savalas) as the murderer. This, of course, sets of a string of events that pits Sarah against a police officer that no one believes could be a killer.

She Cried Murder is essentially one brisk and suspenseful chase scene. Clocking in at a mere 66 minutes - quite shy of the average 74 minute running length of the tele-films from this era - there is no time for subplots, or anything that might look like a distraction. From point A we can clearly see point B coming, but the chase scene maintains interest thanks to the location changes every few minutes.

While there is not much in the way of character development, screenwriters Timothy Bond and Merwin Gerard, along with Lynda's understated performance, create a rather interesting depiction of Sarah. She is originally painted as a vulnerable widow, prone to over emotional moments. When she tells the cops she must be wrong about seeing the killer, the police and her friend shrug it off as grief creating hallucinations (Yellow Wallpaper, anyone). Also, her livelihood is based on her beauty, as if to support a stereotype of women who should be seen but not heard. However, Sarah will prove that she’s much stronger than anyone is willing to give her credit for (and that’s including herself). At one point Sarah’s son is taken hostage by Inspector Brody and her deer caught in the headlights expression led me to believe she'd just limp over to the madman, but instead she works calmly against the odds, turning them in her favor. She manages to stay one step ahead – barely – of the menacing Inspector, while the other police officers (led by Mike Farrell) are always just one step behind.

Mike Farrell is given little to do, but Savalas is fantastic as the dangerous Inspector (as if there was any doubt). He uses his power as a cop to stay close behind our heroine, which keeps her on her feet! We only know a little about why he's a good cop gone bad, but there are many allusions to sordid dealings leading to far darker crimes. It also doesn't hurt that Savalas looks creepy! No offense Telly, but you were one serious looking dude!

Timothy Bond would go on to write the excellent slasher Happy Birthday to Me, which also featured a young heroine crippled by the death of a loved one (although her ending was not so happy). Merwin Gerard worked mostly in TV movies, and he also wrote The Screaming Woman (1972) and The Invasion of Carol Enders (1973), which are, much like She Cried Murder, great examples of lean filmmaking. Director Herschel Daugherty had previously teamed up with Gerard for the excellent 1972 tele-thriller The Victim, which starred Elizabeth Montgomery, and is yet another instance of letting the low budgets work in your favor. The Victim was a little more stringent in its presentation, as it was locked mostly into one location, but the woman-in-peril genre never looked better than in these kinds of films because actresses suited for the small screen knew how to bring just the right amount of soft glamour along with a sense of strength and dignity to their projects. Yes, I have wrongly relegated Lynda to being Mrs. George too often. She certainly holds her own in She Cried Murder.

Nightmare (1974)

Network: CBS
Original Air Date: January 8th, 1974

Patty Duke and Richard Crenna might be two of the most friendly faces on television. Many of us grew up watching Patty and who doesn’t like Richard Crenna? Seriously. The two were also an interesting duo on television, appearing in three projects together, one in the 70s (Nightmare), one in the 80s (the sitcom It Takes Two) and finally reuniting one more time in the 90s (another TV movie titled Race Against Time: The Search for Sarah). These two actors certainly shared chemistry and first showed it off in the underrated thriller Nightmare, which pits Crenna and Duke against a sniper!

Richard Crenna is the straight-laced Howard, a guy who takes everything a little too seriously. He lives in a comfortable apartment in chic Manhattan and and balances out his priggish nature by dating his kooky neighbor Jan (Duke) who is an actress and someone who takes the world far less seriously than Howard. On the evening of a small dinner party, Howard thinks he hears gunfire from a building across the way. He also sees a flashing light, allowing him to pinpoint the apartment. When he hears news that a sniper has killed two people in his neighborhood, he calls the police and is promptly visited by the no nonsense and utterly humorless Detective Rausch (Vic Morrow) who only takes Howard half-seriously. Undeterred by Rausch’s patronizing shove-off, Howard begins to conduct his own investigation. Unfortunately, as he’s peering through binoculars into the sniper’s apartment he is spied back through the crosshairs of the shooter’s rifle!

Many tele-films have riffed on Rear Window, including Someone’s Watching Me!, Through Naked Eyes and even a small screen remake of Rear Window, which starred Christopher Reeve. Honestly, the set-up definitely works on the small screen, as many TV movies played well with the claustrophobic setting. Director William Hale does tend to keep the setting confined and sparse, and the short 74-minute running span is somewhat brisk, and thankfully bereft of subplots. Things open up a bit at the end though with a pretty great chase through the streets of New York. There are marquees, lights and people and yet no one will help Howard.

Nightmare is never really pulse pounding, but it has quite a few tense moments. Once we see the killer has spotted Howard, the film concentrates on suspenseful set pieces as Howard and Jan attempt to find any kind of clue that will bust the killer, before he busts them! This film is a welcome and breezy tele-film that features both Henry Winkler and John Travolta in small (and uncredited!) roles.

Ladykillers (1988)

Today is Marilu Henner's birthday, and to celebrate I thought it would be fun to reprint this review I wrote for her excellent TV movie Ladykillers. I reviewed it eons ago for another site, and I thought it was high time it made its way to my little blog dedicated to the small screen movies I adore. Ladykillers is one of my favorites. It's as fluffy and airy as cotton candy and just as sweet!

I actually wrote a shorter review of Ladykillers here at MFTVM when I first got rolling and I compared it to the other male stripper TV flick For Ladies Only. You can read the madness here.

Happy Birthday Marilu!



Network: ABC
Original Air Date: November 9th, 1988

Let's face it, TV Movies get a bum rap. Just the other day my good friend was asking me if I had seen the Jan Michael Vincent/Charles Bronson action flick, The Mechanic, which he referred to as “One step above a TV Movie.” Don’t get me wrong, he practically froths at the mouth every time I mention the words Sweet Hostage, but he is also well aware of the confines of the Movie of the Week Syndrome. No foul language, no nudity and toned down violence can certainly dampen anyone’s good time. His casual insult kind of hits the mark when it comes to many TV movies, but Ladykillers simply isn’t happy being that kind of movie and this one goes all the way to becoming the hottest thing since feathered hair and roach clip barrettes and in my modest eyes, it’s a minor cult classic.


Originally released on November 9th, 1988 on ABC, Ladykillers is about a serious female plain-clothes detective played by Marilu Henner (sporting some serious cleavage in various scenes) who falls in love with a rookie named Cavanaugh (Thomas Calabro). Their first case together is to find a lady in an intriguing Tina Turner wig and a muumuu (or frock if you want to add a bit of class) who is stalking the male strippers at Ladykillers, the hippest nightclub in town. The veritable hotspot features bartenders in silver get-ups, an MC who says “All you sexy, sexy ladies”, various oiled up men dancing to the biggest hits of the year, women with NO shame and a club owner named Morgana (Leslie Anne Down with some awesome gravity defying hair!) who purrs lines like “My clients will devour him.” Unfortunately, our bold killer actually attacks the victims during their big number at the end of the show! And, ironically, it ends up being good for business. I mean, I kind of like G strings and carnage myself. To uncover the sinister culprit, Cavanaugh goes undercover as Mr. Chippendales himself! I won’t say much about my favorite Melrose Place alumni but his fabulous gorilla like dance moves have to be seen to be truly enjoyed. To do these steps yourself, just remember: knuckle drag – butt swing – knuckle drag – butt swing and you’ll have it!


Ladykillers is a movie that came and went, although it enjoyed a small release on vhs. It may just seem like another footnote to the hundreds of TV movies that came out in the 80s. However, where most episodic programming and small screen features were highlighting the latest music of the decade with remakes of current hits (obtaining the originals was often a very expensive venture), Ladykillers featured all original tunes including songs by Living Color, Midnight Oil and Jeffrey Osborne. I’ll admit it was quite startling to see someone in fur boots stripping to Midnight Oil’s profoundly political song Beds are Burning, but he got naked, so who cares?!? Oh yeah, and it’s a good song.

Jeffrey Osborne’s dynamic Stay With Me Tonight is the showcase song (i.e. it’s the one Calabro strips too) and for many years I enjoyed watching this movie just to hear it. Well, and to watch Calabro strip.


These fabulous photos come courtesy of TV Spielfilm.

And for more naked men mayhem, please read my article about Made for TV Machismo and Playgirl.

Winter Kill (1974)

Network: ABC
Original Air Date: April 15th, 1974

There’s no doubt that Andy Griffith did his best to shun his good natured country boy persona by making some very interesting, and often quite dark, made for TV movies during the 70s (and of course A Face in the Crowd… I know a little bit about other movies sometimes too). He lent his performances as the bad guy some dark justice as audiences would see in both Pray for the Wildcats ("I'm a hippie with money!") and Savages (both released in 1974). In Winter Kill he returns to his more recognizable good guy shtick, but there’s not much of his signature joviality to be seen as he finds himself on the trail of a cold-blooded killer in a small, snowy mountain town.


Griffith is Sheriff Sam McNeil, an officer of the law who is caught off guard when a mysterious sniper starts picking of the locals. After each kill the menacing marauder leaves the number of the victim behind, painted in the snow or in some visible spot, and McNeil attempts to link all the victims together. In a voice over, the audience is given snippets of a diary belonging to a wide-eyed teenager named Cynthia (Elayne Heilveil). This device puts us one step ahead of the sheriff - and one step behind the killer. There is no shortage of suspects and Mayor Bickford (Eugene Roche) is hot on the heels of McNeil to catch the culprit so they can open their town to tourists without fear of losing business (It’s like Jaws on dry land with a sniper!) As the evidence begins to unfold, a serious of odd happenings also take place, and then there are a couple of twists galore! In short, my kind of flick.


Directed by ex-DGA president Jud Taylor who was a stalwart of the TV film (and served as president of his guild from 1981 – 1983), he also directed the stylish and creepy Shelly Winters TV horror flick Revenge. Winter Kill is no less stylish with its serene, snowy, small town settings which place a stark contrast on the cold blooded murders (no pun intended!). Shot mostly in Big Bear, the old school architecture of the snow town elite looks fantastic on Warner Archives DVD.

Winter Kill is an excellent film. The acting is fantastic, with lots of interesting and likable characters. Sheree North plays MacNeil’s main squeeze and the gorgeous John Calvin is his right hand man. The best performance might be Joyce Van Patten who always makes the snow just a little more icy with her bitch-perfect delivery. Lawrence Pressman, Tim O’Connor, Louise Latham, a young and studly Nick Nolte and of course, Roche, are all given some nice moments as MacNeil works his way through his population of suspects.


The opening murder scene is tense and frightening, and really sets the pace for this underrated thriller. There is a murder a little later that quickly turns into something far more devastating, in one of the slick twists.

The movie was intended to be a pilot for Griffith, and although it was not picked up, the actor repackaged it as a show called Adams of Eagle Lake, but only two episodes aired before it was replaced by The Rockford Files. He then managed to repackage this idea again (and again, it turns out!) with two more TV films. Girl in the Empty Grave and Deadly Game were both released in 1977, but no other series came of them. Grave was definitely a far more light-hearted version of Winter Kill, and if I remember correctly, a pretty fun film.

While looking up this movie I found an interesting article about how two such famous television faces – Andy Griffith and James Garner – could have such opposite results when they returned to television. This article poses the theory that Maverick and Garner aren’t that separate, while Griffith attempted to considerably alter his familiar television image, which turned off television audiences. Something to think about, eh?

Must See Streaming Movie of the Week: Million Dollar Rip-Off (1976)

Network: NBC
Original Air Date: September 22nd, 1976

Freddie Prinze was a television star who was hoping to go onto bigger things like theatricals. While making a TV movie is more of a lateral move, Freddie saw it as a way to step out of his Chico image and give viewers something new. In his biography The Freddie Prinze Story, his mother says Prinze thought that Million Dollar Rip-Off was not such a great movie, but that he would get some good notice for it. According to her, he did indeed receive praise for this quirky heist comedy about a male con-artist who enlists four beautiful women to help him steal... you got it... a million dollars! OK, it’s actually 2.5 million, but you get the picture.

Lukin' good!
The humor of the film is not derived so much from the characters or their interaction; rather the comedy rides on the silly plot Prinze concocts. Each member of this gang wears funny costumes and those creepy latex masks that were so popular in films made in the 70s, and the women often go in drag as men (very, very ugly men) in an attempt to foil the law. Prinze plays Muff Kovak (!), a small time crook with big dreams and a lot creativity. He enlists some rather foxy ladies to help him out (including Joanna Kerns), but after a series of mishaps, he realizes there is an insider tipping off a thug named Lubeck (James Sloyan) and now the police have also caught wind of the caper. It’s up to Kovak to not just find the squeaky rat, but to also rip off the dough. Sometimes a good man is hard to find, but Kovak is just perfect for this job!

Starring Joanna Kerns as an ugly man!
I liked Million Dollar Rip-Off a lot. It’s different for sure, and it isn’t quite sure what genre it’s going for, but the acting is uniformly great, and Prinze was right, he’s a knockout. It was such a treat to see him shed his usual jovial presence and offer up something a little darker. I thought he did a fantastic job of making the silly crime seem plausible and as the film progressed, I found myself becoming more and more immersed in the story, wondering if they would actually pull off the heist. The end is a bit of letdown, but it was probably the best way for the whole story to play out.

While the beautiful women were certainly a draw, this movie centers on Kovak and his struggles with Lieutenant Ralph Fogherty (Allen Garfield), who is the humorless “good guy” obsessed with catching Kovak red handed. The film was written by the actors William Devane and John Pleshette (the two would later star together on Knot’s Landing!) and according to a New York Times review, these actors had hoped to star in the film. I’m curious as to who would have played Kovak and who would have taken on Fogherty…

Lukin' good Part 2
Million Dollar Rip-Off is far from perfect, but it’s also not just a throwaway TV movie from a bygone era either. It’s the only film Prinze was able to make before he took his own life, and it stands as a symbol of the great potential the actor had. It leaves a bittersweet feeling because I am left wondering what we missed out on now that Prinze is no longer with us, and it’s also great to see that he got to spread his acting wings a little farther, showcasing what a true talent he was.

Everyone can now enjoy Prinze’s lone film because it is streaming on both Netflix and Hulu! Hip hip hooray!

Kovak's Angels

Beg, Borrow or Steal (1973)

Network: ABC
Original Air Date: March 20, 1973

Mike Connors is Vic, a down on his luck paraplegic Vietnam veteran who hits hard times when he’s let go from a swanky security job at the local museum. He lives with Cliff (Michael Cole), who has no hands and Lester (Kent McCord), a blind man. Cliff uses mechanical hands, and with excellent dexterity I might add, but he weirds out his employers and has to jump from job to job. Only Lester has any kind of steady work, and that's a gig collecting parking money at the beach. Because Vic knows the museum and because he knows how a good security system is devised, he decides he’s going to steal some jewels from a new exhibit. He plots this caper with Cliff, and eventually (and begrudgingly), they bring Lester into their fold. The plan is definitely risky even if these guys weren’t dealing with handicaps, but they also know there’s not much ahead for them work wise. The trio had once owned a laundromat and this is their last chance to grab that dream again.

That's Ron Glass as The Heavy!
Beg, Borrow or Steal is an excellent ABC Movie of the Week that has everything from serious social commentary to a nail-biting bank heist! And they did it all in 74 minutes! The story immediately throws the viewer into the plight of the three men, yet they never make them seem pathetic. Even down on their luck, they are given a lot of dignity, brains and charisma. The most sympathy arises when Cliff is let go from his job. He’s a good worker, but once he sees “the look” in his boss' eyes, he knows he’s down for the count, and he’s resigned to it. There’s not much backstory given to the characters' time in Viet Nam, but there’s no doubt it was a horrific experience, and their survival instinct emerges in the form of an elaborate robbery!

The heist itself is the high point of the movie; it’s extremely suspenseful and seriously brilliant. While I was watching these men work their magic, I wondered how this TV movie would wrap up the story. I didn’t feel like they could make them criminals who skirt the repercussions for stealing, no matter how sympathetic the characters were. And indeed the filmmakers agreed. I thought the conclusion was probably the weakest part of the film, although I didn’t really mind the sweet and unrealistic ending. Those guys deserved a break!

Plot hatchin'!
David Lowell Rich, who had his hand in many made for TV movies (Crime Club, Satan's School for Girls), directed Beg, Borrow or Steal with a lot of heart, from a story by Paul Playdon and Grant Sims. With the minor quibble regarding the ending aside, this movie makes the characters sympathetic without pandering to their disabilities. They are also extremely likable and you’ll be totally rooting for them to get those jewels!